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Friendship is a beautiful thing that can get messy sometimes. Ask your question here.
I an beginning to think that my "friends" are not actually my friends
Posted Wednesday December 1 2021, 11:57 pm
Hi, I am from America.
And I've been feeling this way for a really long time about some of my friends that I hang out with frequently. I feel like an outsider among them, which is weird because i've known some of them since we were in middle school. The one friend from middle school in particular feels like a different person now from when we were both in middle school, she constantly wants to talk about politics and only ever seems to want to talk about herself in relation to a majority of the topics I bring up. She never used to be like this, but now I feel that I dislike a majority of what we talk about most of the time. It wouldn't be so bad, if I didn't feel like she was subtly belittling me. She sometimes brings up my ethnicit...
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Did I make the right decision in ending a ten year friendship?
Posted Tuesday November 30 2021, 9:27 pm
28/f
I've been trying to figure out whether or not I've made the right decision in cutting my friend of 10 years out of my life.
When my dad passed away in March, I told everyone (including my friends), that I was going to go off grid for awhile to regroup, which also meant that I wasn't going to respond to anyone until I was ready. All of them met me with support and understanding.
One of these friends, was a girl friend of mine from high school. We used to have a lot of things in common, but I think life pulled us in different directions, but yet we were still able to remain friends. Two weeks after I have told everyone I was going to be off grid, she just texted me "hey." I didn't respond to her mai...
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Was I being too dramatic?
Posted Wednesday October 6 2021, 12:57 am
My friend made a very offhand racist comment the other day that she totally didn't mean, and it was just like, something that slipped out of her mouth, but sort of betrayed her internalized prejudice. It wasn't a huge deal, but I was offended because she had made a racist comment towards my culture. On Saturday, we went out to dinner with our friend group, and I brought it up just to say hey, that was kind of racist and offended me since it was about my culture, so can you be a little more aware about your words. She took it badly, and got really defensive, and I told her I wasn't blaming her, it was just very shocking and offensive towards me even if it wasn't intentional. She eventually said that yeah, she understood, but proceeded to act...
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Possible friendships
Posted Tuesday October 5 2021, 5:14 pm
Today was very usual for me, I had 2 girls who barely talk to me ask to be my friend almost simultaneously. I accepted only one of the girls offer, and so my question lies with the other girl. The other girl whose offer I have not accepted is a cousin to someone who bullied me a couple of years ago, me, the girl, and her cousin all rode the same bus which is where the bullying mostly took place. So she of course bore witness to the bullying, while I do not remember if she ever partook in it or said anything to me I am still skeptical of her friendship request because not only is she related to my past bully but I have no clue if she has any other intentions besides becoming a genuine friend to me. She scarcely speaks to me and so her sudd...
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Partying: Do I invite MYSELF to the party?
Posted Friday October 1 2021, 11:42 pm
I want to go to a party but I have no one to go with. I could ask my roommate but she’s studying and Idk how to ask her. My friend said I could hit her up anytime to go with her to a party but she already left and I don’t want to invite myself. But I could. What do I do?
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New friends?
Posted Thursday September 23 2021, 10:34 pm
So there are these twin boys who are in my last period. One is more preferably social since I see people usually talk to and hold conversation with him more than the other brother who is rather reserved and only speaks when spoken to. Well at least from what I’ve seen in that case, keep in mind I only have one class with them and don’t sit near them. From my POV I see myself in the brother who is more quiet and would like to become acquainted with him! I’ve observed a number of similarities between me and him and I need ways to get closer to him or talk to him in some kind of way. I am not one to speak first also I only speak when spoken to, it seems he is the same so does anybody have any tips or tricks to help me make a new friend?
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What to do about a toxic(I think) friend?
Posted Tuesday September 7 2021, 9:21 pm
Some background information:
I've known my best friend for 8 or so years and we were perfect friends until 2 or so years ago, when she first started talking to this dude on tiktok.
Don't get me wrong, I encourage her to have her own feelings and I love that she wanted to get out and talk to guys. But she started acting... Weird after.
We were the type to talk bad about people for a quick laugh, but didn't actually mean it. We'd never say it to their faces or spread rumors. So it wouldn't have been unusual for us to talk bad about the guy she's talking to... Except she thought it was. She'd get defensive about it. I understand wanting to protect him, but seriously. It's all jokes, she knows it.
Well fast forwar...
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Friend cancelled plans. Again.
Posted Monday September 6 2021, 4:30 pm
My friend "Jane" (34F) and I (24M) have been friends for about 5 years now. We tell each other almost everything and can always complain to each other or ask the other for advice. It's pretty much great, but the one thing about it that I absolutely cannot stand is the fact that she very frequently cancels on plans last minute. She has a slew of physical and mental health problems, so I know that she's not cancelling for the sake of just not wanting to do anything. However, it's gotten to a point where whenever I try to make plans, I have to constantly verify with her that she is, in fact, following through. The instance that made me write this post was that today, we were expecting to play Pathfinder with a group of friends. I am ...
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Friend broke my heart
Posted Monday September 6 2021, 9:01 am
Hi
This is about my last question. Basically a “friend” from high school told me she is going to study abroad. We haven’t seen each other in a year. She then invited me over to her place but basically we sat there in quiet, she didnt even offered me anything, it was me who brought something for us to eat. Then after 2 hours she indirectly told me to leave.
I then told her we should meet during summer before she leaves. She agreed but basically whenever I would ask her she would tell me she is busy and working. Dont tell me
that even if she is working that she couldnt find 2 hours for me to say goodbye.
You know what, she just posted a picture with classmate from high school (she wasnt clos...
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my last friend or is she really my friend?
Posted Sunday August 29 2021, 4:33 pm
Hi,
so over the last 3 years I´ve lost almost all of my friends bc they were toxic and the friendships drained me and were one-sided. I held onto them for so long and tried to save them but I just couldnt anymore bc I knew these "friends" didnt really care about me. They were mostly friends from high school but i after i left high school i learned they werent really my friends bc of how they treated me.
I kind of have only one friend left but I dont know what to think about her and I dont know really if she is my friend or im just trying to hold onto one last person before i can officialy say im a loser and letting loneliness take over me.
She is good person, she helps me and listens to me whe...
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What about your friends? Or lack thereof
Posted Saturday August 28 2021, 4:51 pm
How can I befriend someone who doesn’t know there worth and would rather be around phony people?
I have no idea where to start with this so I’ll just start from where it all went up in flames…the pandemic. I was in ninth grade when we first got quarantined and i had or was building a bond with someone who I felt was worthy enough to become the closest with but then a new school year started and I went completely online, the only times we saw each other was at testing(the only days where I was required to show up to school in person)and at that point I had no way of reaching out to her and cherishing what was left of what was being built before the interruption. So when I started my junior year 2 weeks ago I was excited to come ...
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Toxic friend(s)
Posted Friday August 27 2021, 6:26 pm
Hi :) My name is Jane and I’m 22.
I dont even know where to begin. I start my 1st year of my Masters degree in a few weeks. I got rid of my one toxic friend from high school about 2 years ago. I tried to be friends with but I just couldnt continue.
And this one “friend” is also from high school. I gave her another chance bc before that I told her I dont wanna be friends with her. She always tells me how are we gonna travel during the summer but we never do. When we would hang out, it would always be only 2 hours…always. And it was always exhausting bc no matter what we talked about, she alway had to outdo me and be better than me.
I study translation and i told her that I got translating part-ti...
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Argued with close friend over his mistreatment to me and found out he has a
Posted Friday August 27 2021, 10:50 am
Does that mean all the suffering I've faced is now invalid because he has adhd?Are my feelings now just not justified because of his adhd?What can I do to help him?By the way he doesnt know that I know of his adhd.
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How do I politely tell my friend to not be so clingy?
Posted Friday August 13 2021, 4:30 pm
My friend is super insecure about everything and super clingy. She texts constantly and it's not that I don't like hearing from her, but she just makes me SO emotionally exhausted because every conversation we have ends up with her making self-deprecating jokes or her needing constant reassurance that I'm still her friend. Of course I'm willing to reassure her about these things, but having to do it all the time is just really exhausting. I have my own problems and I can't be putting all my time and energy into making her feel better. I know that if I tell her this though, she'll get super hurt and insecure, and it will probably backfire and I'll have to spend even more energy convincing her that just because I think she's being a little cl...
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needy roomate extrovert vs introvert situation
Posted Thursday August 5 2021, 12:37 am
40m, roommate is 56, he is recently divorced. I'm an introvert and he's an extrovert. I pretty much wanna be alone 95% of the time, if not more. He's the kind of guy that will talk to strangers like nothing. When we met, I was high all the time and drinking more often than not. Under those circumstances, I become more social. But when I'm sober, I like to keep to myself. He was under the impression that I was always that high/drunk guy he met. We used to pretty much only hang out at those times. Now that we're roommates, he's expressed his dissatisfaction with me being in my room all the time. I mostly quit drinking and smoking, and he tries to get me to drink so we can hang out more. He'll go as far as to say that I'm avoiding him. If I ke...
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Am I being too possesive of my best friend?
Posted Sunday July 18 2021, 5:25 am
hey! my bestfriend is hanging out with new friends and i m happy for her because she s happy but i don t really want her to get in a bad entourage and after it to regret it. we don t really go out very much like we used to do and her bf don t even won t to let her go in some place without him, we still get along and talk everyday and i really trust and care for her but she often make me feel sad and pressured.it is my fault? am i being too possesive?
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I want to help my sister!
Posted Wednesday July 7 2021, 10:18 am
Hello. I am a younger sister and my elder sister is 3 years older. We are in university. My sister is friends with these two girls (let's call them x and y), they have been close friends since grade 8 and up till now.
2-3 years ago X and Y moved back to their home country (They live in the same country, different cities) and now my sister chats with them online, video calls and texting. My sister has been diagnosed with slight depression and she wants to put on a brave face all the time. Every time she seeks comfort from X and Y, they say things like "well, I have it worse since my mum did not want me" or "at least you did not have to commute going to university. You do not know what it is like."
T...
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How to rebuild an old friendship?
Posted Monday July 5 2021, 11:35 am
Me and a friend of mine fell out over something a few months back- we both hurt the other’s feelings unintentionally and made some mistakes; we’ve apologised to each other and I know that we both really want to be friends again. I know that with time, we’ll be able to rebuild that friendship. She was the sweetest person ever; and we just had a personality clash leading to the breakdown of a friendship.
I’ve had friends in the past that I thought were friends but turned out to be anything but; who had malicious intent towards me; but I know this person never did, this person was a true friend of mine and I wish I could rebuild it. I’m just not sure how.
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How to deal with a potential attention-seeker?
Posted Thursday June 24 2021, 5:28 pm
I have this one friend who's life is pretty bad. She has a lot of trauma and mental issues, and abusive parents. When it comes to those issues, I'm very supportive and it never bothers me when she confides in me or anything, because I don't have the best relationship with my mother either, and I get it. However, she's also extremely insecure, and I know it's because of her anxiety, but she's just constantly texting about how she feels so ugly and how insecure she's about certain parts of herself. And of course, every time, our friends and I rush to assure her, telling her she's beautiful and she has nothing to worry about. She is a larger girl and I understand somewhat, because of course, I also have insecurities about myself. But my friend...
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Is it time to break away from my best friend?
Posted Thursday May 6 2021, 12:42 pm
Hello~ This is gonna be long I’m so sorry.
So I’ve (28/f) been best friends with a wonderful human being (27/f) for around 4 years now. She’s supportive, encouraging, calls me out when I need it, and would give me the shirt off of her back no questions asked.
I moved back up to my family after a medical crisis with my dad and now finally feel comfortable moving back to the area where she lives. We’ve even had a solid plan for over a year and to move in together and this would be her first time living out of her aunt and uncles house.
The issue is she spends money, and when I say she spends money I mean she could easily have multiple packages showing up to her house daily no problem. W...
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