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Friend broke my heart
Hi
This is about my last question. Basically a “friend” from high school told me she is going to study abroad. We haven’t seen each other in a year. She then invited me over to her place but basically we sat there in quiet, she didnt even offered me anything, it was me who brought something for us to eat. Then after 2 hours she indirectly told me to leave.
I then told her we should meet during summer before she leaves. She agreed but basically whenever I would ask her she would tell me she is busy and working. Dont tell me
that even if she is working that she couldnt find 2 hours for me to say goodbye.
You know what, she just posted a picture with classmate from high school (she wasnt close with her as she was close to me) that she is abroad. That means she left to study abroad even without goodbye. She didnt even bother to text me that she is gone.
The whole summer she “didnt have time” to hang out with me. I told her about some of my problems and she helped me. But she did have time to meet up with someone she didnt even know very well.
I texted her about it and she just gave it a seen. So she didnt even bother to respond to me. Please tell me what to do. I really wanna die because she was my last “friend” and i cannot even comprehend the pain im feeling right know. I really wanna die. The fact that she told me nothing and isnt even responding to my message…I just cant anymore. I thought she cared about me.
This was the last thing that kept me away from killing myself. Because I thought she cared about me but she never did and I just wanna die so badly. This was the last knob to my coffin.
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You are seriously depressed, if you are feeling suicidal, and this has deeper, other causes that the rejection you experienced from your friend. You MUST do something about this, and this means seeing a licensed professional counselor. Your suicidal ideation pre-exists, and your over reaction to this situation isn't warranted. You were already fragile, depressed,, and vulnerable to begin with.
This girl gave you lots of messages that she just wasn't that interested or available, which should have clued you in to leave her alone and to move on, which you didn't do. Consequently, you set yourself up for being more and more hurt by her rejections.
Get yourself into counseling, pronto ! Most communities have sliding fee scale counseling resources, which you can find either on line or in the reference section of your local library.
Meanwhile, here is another valuable resource for you: Its the suicide prevention hotline, at 1 800 273-8255, available for free, 24/7.
There is hope, and help available ! Good wishes, good luck, Dr. Stephanie
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When a person writes something about wanting to die or kill themselves, it must be taken seriously. If you are THAT depressed, it might be best for you to go see a professional. They are better equipped to help a person through times of great change and heartache.
If you were just using it as a figure of speech, then read on.
Sometimes we may talk about death, dying and such when we face something in life that is so hard to deal with. First we need to realize that some people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a life time. A reason might be when you are needing to hear or experience something you wouldn't if they didn't show up in your life, a season to me is a period of time that you are missing something or needing something in your life now but won't need from them for life. I am full of sayings today as another came to mind about not putting all your eggs in one basket. The phrase suggests that someone has physically put all the eggs they have in one basket and is then at risk of dropping the basket, losing everything they worked hard for. For you, I can only guess, as I don't know what other friends you have as you make it sound like she's the only one. And if so, then she would be the one egg, or one friend you rely on to feel cared about and if the basket drops and the egg breaks, its all gone, same as her seeming to drop out of your life.
It is a known that from HS and onward, our circle of friends and even close friends can change because we change. As people grow and make choices, their choices can take them down a path where one or both can feel they no longer have much in common. At a HS reunion, I saw friends I long ago stopped seeing because my life had me on a track now so different from theirs. I was close to thirty when I finally no longer saw any of them. While it was good to see them, I realized at the reunion that we had nothing in common anymore.
This is something we can't control, it just happens as part of life. My HS friends did not reach out or stay in touch either so we all adjusted well. Even my best friend from junior high, the person I was always closest too, we kept in touch by phone since she was in another state. We were probably in our early forties when I told her of some of the changes in my life and which way I was heading now. She was so conservative and was also very alarmed. I am convinced I am going the right path for me and at same time realized I had nothing more to talk with her about, at least not things that really mattered. I was not going to simply talk about the weather and ask how her kids are and then pretty much there is nothing left to say. So we no longer stay in touch. I am giving you my examples because we never broke friendship, we simply drifted apart. It most likely is the case for you. Often the people who can't handle the drifting apart of a friend are those who only tried to get all their friendship needs taken care of by one or two people so when they are no longer with you, or have left you and stopped contact, and these people felt abandoned, and heart broken as you. I know that situations like this can lead to feeling depressed. Happened to a daughter about 15 yrs ago when a boyfriend dumped her. SHe felt so depressed and told me about it. I told her of things she could do to feel better, simple things that would increase her 'feel good' hormones so she could feel more ready to move on. What I shared was what I have learned in life as stuff a psychologist would tell you. Well, she went for her one free visit through work insurance to see a Psychologist and knowing he had only this one visit to help her, based on the fact this was a situational depression, coming about because of a devastating situation, and not something she's had all her life, he gave her a list of things she can do to get better. The list he gave her was exactly the same as what I told her she said. So if you go for help, and you have had no depression life long until now, and its due to losing your friend, then that is situational and can be treated without meds in almost all people by seeking a professional with the letters CBD trained. These are trained in Cognitive behavioral therapy which will help you and your thought life so you can go on. Study what it really means to be a friend, try to be like that in all aspects of what you do. Work on yourself, gaining a bright outlook, a joyful and kind personality and when you look attractive as a potential friend, you will attract like minded people. You don't however wait for someone to notice you but join groups to meet people. There are groups for singles but I am thinking more of hobbies, beliefs, practices of yours. There is a group online called Meet ups .com but I left spaces because typing it in here connected me to their page. In this venue you put the area and zip you live in and start looking for what groups already exist in your area. I have seen mommy groups consisting of walking together with babies in strollers and ending with buying smoothies to meditation, board game lovers, to more of the belief based, and if it doesn't exist yet, a group can be started. People chat online but the look forward to point is the weekly or bi weekly scheduled live gatherings. Be the person who starts up conversations with a stranger, they might become a friend. Its easy when all you do is compliment them or ask a question, as I asked a lady tapping melons in the grocery. She taught me how it sounds when ripe and ready to eat. So please don't give up and if you want the list of things to do to help with boosting your feel good hormones that got all used up during this time you are dealing with your loss.
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Let's deal with the bigger issue here. If you are thinking of seriously ending your life for any reason whatsoever much less over a lost friendship than something is seriously wrong there that you need to tell somebody and get helped with. That's a mental disturbance and one that you have got to reach out to adults to help you with. Nothing including a friendship that is lost should ever make you even think of doing that.
Secondly, friendships do come and go. Unfortunately, she's being a real snot and ruining something that was good for so long. Her not responding is her way of moving on. Also, it would be extremely difficult for anyone to maintain a relationship despite good intentions even from that far away.
Perhaps you inadvertently said or did something that pissed her off. All you can do one last time is ask her "Did I offend you in some way?" If she doesn't give you a response or the courtesy of telling you what's up forget about her.
She is NOT your last and only friend. You will see that over time you will make tons of new friends. Just be open to that and meeting new people or become more aware of those that may be right under your nose or kids that don't have friends and can use someone like you in their lives.
Also, get support from teachers and school counsellors and work on your social skills, body language or anything that may put people off of you. This will really help you connect with your peers in the future. Be open to everyone and anyone and people will flock to you soon enough.
You should also join clubs at school or sports that reflect your interests. Student council will force you to interact and work with people you wouldn't ordinarily. Improv and drama will help tenfold too.
The bottom line is if you are feeling suicidal tell adults right now (immediately) and why and get help because you clearly need it and have identified that which doesn't seem right with your thinking. I feel you should pile into the car with your parents go directly to an emergency room and tell them no matter how difficult it may be or the fact you don't want to. Have them assess you and give you resources, the right treatment, medication, intervention and support. For your safety they may keep you there until you get better and or only observe you for 72hrs to figure out what is going on mentally. You definitely need helped. I think you're smart enough to see that losing a friend has nothing to do with it but didn't help on top. Also if admitted to a ward it's temporary until you are well again and is essential so you get rest and opportunity to get well. You will still see your family but people will be keeping you safe from harming yourself. That's an important thing you need to do to be well. I hope you will take this extremely serious and get immediate support. You may not be able to see there's an issue here or that you have one that needs immediate attention but I have seen time and again that it's incredibly wise if feeling anything like you told us to tell adults and have them deal head on with you about this.
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