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We know you love your family, but sometimes issues come up where a little advice is helpful. Ask your question here.
I'm unable to be emotionally vulnerable around my parents... or anyone?
Posted Friday April 8 2022, 6:58 pm
My parents are so out of touch with healthy emotional control. They constantly invalidate my emotions about literally everything and tell me "I'm being dramatic," or when it devolves into an argument, "You're psycho." I can't confide in my mom, ever, and I've long since learned my lesson about that. I haven't told her something real about my life in years. However, I thought that my dad was at least a little more understanding. That changed, quickly. Even something small, like me saying "I'm bad at history, so I'm really proud that I got a good grade in APUSH this term" (yeah, I have to say that to myself because my parents would never say that to me, they don't even understand that people can just be bad at so...
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Going to the zoo!
Posted Thursday March 31 2022, 11:15 am
32 female
My sister is taking me to the zoo for my birthday even though my birthday is in April we are going in May because that's when my nephew gets out of school. I was wondering what do I need to bring for a day trip at the zoo?
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More From Miguel on Foster Family
Posted Tuesday February 22 2022, 6:33 pm
Dr. Stephanie:
You said to try again and that I wrote too much and I agree it was very very long. Thank you for offering to help with your advice. So my basic question is do I tell my foster parents that I do not speak Spanish and that I am not all that interested in doing special family activities related to Latino culture? If I should say something, how do I do it without hurting their feelings or making them feel foolish for trying to do something nice to make me feel special and respecting my background. I hope that is simple enough. I will add that I do know Shawn and Sarah were wanting to adopt a baby and they have to foster so many kids to sort of be considered for that. I may just be practice for them, but I hope...
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My parents say I can't begin social transitioning
Posted Monday February 21 2022, 12:42 pm
Last night, I admitted to my parents that I think I might be trans and that I want to socially transition. Y'know, spend a year living as a boy (I was assigned girl at birth) in order to be sure. I understand that taking hormones or undergoing surgery is a huge step, so I want to be certain before I do something that might be irreversible.
My parents didn't take the news as well as I'd hoped and told me they don't want me living as a boy. I just turned seventeen and have another year to go before I can move out on my own and live however I like. I really don't want to have to wait that long though. Any advice on how I might convince my parents to let me begin social transitioning now?
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im stuck living with my narcissistic mother
Posted Friday February 18 2022, 5:17 am
I'm 23 years old and still live with my parents.
I don't have a job at the moment & am unable to financially support myself until I do. Following that, I have various mental illness including a decade long eating disorder (my weight is currently sitting at 85 lbs) making it extremely difficult to function physically and mentally. I've been diagnosed with ADHD since childhood and I am struggling to go out to places without someone with me, usually my mother. I can't drive alone, but I have a license.
Though not diagnosed, I believe I have some form of paranoia as well. For example, if I'm at the mall and my mother says she has to go to the bathroom. After a couple of minutes being alone, the intense feelin...
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foster parents nice but awkward
Posted Thursday February 17 2022, 4:12 pm
Hello smart people. I need to have some advice. I understand not to use real names so I will use middle names. Me = Miguel. Foster Dad = Shawn. Foster Mom = Sarah. Foster Brother = Patrick. I have been living with this family for 14 months now. I am 13 and in eighth grade and Patrick is 14 and is a freshman in high school. OK, so those are the people in the story.
I have been living with this foster family for 14 months. They have been the best foster family I have ever had. When I was assigned to them I was very angry and rude and acting out. They did not know what to do with me. One day I said some horrible things to Sarah which I will not repeat and she cried and Patrick got so mad he was shaking and wanted to kill me...
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My son got a DNA test kit for Christmas that he does not want to do
Posted Wednesday February 2 2022, 9:04 am
My mother in law gave my 15 yr old son a DNA test kit for Christmas, and she asked him if he sent it in yet. She also wants to manage the account once its sent in. He wants to give the kit back to her, but my husband is upset that he doesn't want to do it, that it cost $70 and he thinks 'whats the big deal'? I personally think that if he doesn't want to do it, its his perogative AND its his DNA to which he shouldn't be bullied into giving if he doesn't want to. This is causing stress because of our disagreement but I do not want my son to be bullied into doing something he doesn't want to do just to please my husbands mother. And she will be upset and that is how she usually gets her way.
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Single child problem
Posted Tuesday January 18 2022, 3:39 am
Hi there, I need help to understand my parent's psychology in a non-biased way, thus writing my problem here. Being a single child was not an issue for me and my parents while growing up. They provided me with every possible things they could afford. They taught me to dream big, to have a career and to have a mind of my own. They used to be rational in every ways. But after my marriage and my coming to abroad to live with my husband changed everything back home. My parents got so insecure that they gave me constant worries and stresses about things back home which are not anymore under my controls. They started guilt tripping me in innocuous ways for getting married and going far away from them. Whenever they see a neighbor kid or my cousin...
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My sister.
Posted Sunday January 9 2022, 6:06 pm
My sister is so annoying. I'm tired of her stealing my money, using my credit card, and trashing my bedroom at school. I need to get rid of her. What should i do?
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Should I get a drivers license in my condition?
Posted Wednesday January 5 2022, 10:29 pm
I'm 28 years old, I have anxiety disorder and panic attacks for five years. My family is really conservative in their religious views and because of it I wasn't able to get psychologist help for all these years. I also have sleeping disorder and night paralysis with nightmares. Before my disease I used to be independent woman, I would work, study in college. In big city I was able to get to college and job by bus. But we have moved and right now we live in small city and there are no buses.I was able to find job only in big city, because there are no jobs. Last year I took driving classes for few months and have passed all driving lessons successfully. But I have serious panic attacks during driving that I start to loose concentration that ...
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My brother's relationship is breaking our family.
Posted Monday December 27 2021, 1:58 pm
I am from south Asia. My family (Mom, Dad, Bro and me) have always been close knit. That is until my bro left for college. He graduated at the bottom of his course(despite being excellent at school) and also informed us that he had started dating a girl 6 years older than him. My parents were upset at both these news but I consoled them saying that this was normal in today's times and that age was just a number. My brother joined the same well-paying organization as my father. Then one day he announced that he had broken up with that girl. He was quite furious and I listened to him vent. Then a few months later he announced that he was back with that girl. Their relationship has been long distance from the beginning where they meet every f...
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My brother and I have grown WAY too close
Posted Monday December 13 2021, 7:37 am
My brother and I (btw, I'm a girl) have always been best friends. We're only a year apart in age and have no other siblings, so maybe that's to be expected. We also attend the same high school and even have a class together.
So what's the problem? I've come to realize that I harbor romantic and sexual feelings for my brother. I tried to hide this at first but my bro can always tell when something's going on with me, so he asked me what was up. So I told him. And he confessed that he has the same kind of feelings for me.
We both know we can't act on these feelings and that this whole situation is EXTREMELY messed up. Still, the temptation is there. I think we should both get help before we do something we might...
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Doubting my decision to move out of state
Posted Thursday December 9 2021, 9:20 pm
My lease is ending soon and my plan was to move out of state with my sister. But I’ve tried to contact her a couple of time to talk to her more about moving there and visiting soon but haven’t been able to talk to her. . Yesterday, she said she couldn’t talk because she was working and said she’s off tomorrow night if I want to talk. But when I called she didn’t answer. I probably talk to her about moving there a one or two ago and she was completely open to it. But, she’s dating someone new and he has a house and she was like I might just move in with him and just give you my house to you. At the time, I didn’t question it until my therapist reminded me the reason I was moving out of state was to have more support. That’s ...
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My mother has a problem with me smoking tree
Posted Wednesday November 17 2021, 12:04 pm
First off I want to say that yes I care for my mother very much ever since the loss of my sister in 2001 it has been very difficult on me and her. But I feel at times that she's trying to change me into the person I used to be... quiet,shy, never had an opinion and if I did I kept it to myself.
I love the person that I am becoming more and more everyday.. and it's not because of the smoking tree. It's because I am finally working, taking care of my kids and my self, I'm with a man that helps me to be better and do better daily for my kids. She doesn't understand that I have had extreme depression because a lot of things that have happened in my life, it all started when I was 4 yrs old and was hurt by my dad's brother., nobod...
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Codependent mother in law
Posted Thursday November 11 2021, 9:27 am
I am a 25 year old engaged to a man whose mother makes it very clear to me that she is absolutely in love with her son. Her son is “the love of her life, the only love of her life, the light of her world, That even though he’s almost 30 she still sees him as the little baby boy in all those pictures, he will always be my baby boy” and she makes very odd comments such as “he is so good looking he’s even good looking with his shirt off.” Although her and I have a very good relationship, pretty much since we’ve gotten engaged she makes these comments towards me that make me feel like the two of them are the dynamic duo. I’ve been planning a surprise 30th birthday for him for about six months and I included his mother because I ...
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Should I contact my estranged sister?
Posted Saturday October 23 2021, 5:35 pm
My sister is a lot older than I am and was kicked out when I was a toddler for being gay. I'm 15 now and she's 29, and the family hasn't had any contact with her since then. I found her on IG a while back and have been keeping up with her. I don't follow her or anything, just look at what she posts so it's not like she knows I found her. I obviously don't remember her, I've just seen pics of her and have heard some stories about her from cousins. I feel like our parents would be mad if I reached out, but she seems cool and I would love to talk to her. I don't care that she's a lesbian and I think what our parents did was really wrong. I'm just nervous at how she's going to react, I know that she has to remember me, and I know that I didn't ...
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If my daughter visits her mom in jail should she ask her mom questions?
Posted Monday September 13 2021, 6:33 pm
Would allowing my 15-year-old daughter to visit her mom who will be in jail for 7 months for check fraud be a bad idea even if they have a good relationship since then she will see the inside of a jail and prisoners? Not to mention her mom in a jumpsuit. My daughter would like to go and seems enthusiastic and my wife says bring her if she wants but I’m not sure
Actually my daughter does not seem scared but instead seems excited and enthusiastic to visit. This is strange to me. Do you find this normal? My daughter seems to find the idea of her mom having to wearing a uniform, sharing a room funny. I wonder why she would think it is funny. My wife says bring her if she would like to and my daughter says she w...
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My husband said to "Mind my own business?"
Posted Friday September 3 2021, 8:47 am
My husband has been having an issue with going to work here lately. At first I wasn’t saying anything. But now I’m getting worried about our future. I have been now saying things about missing work and yes I have fussed about it. All he says to me is to mind my own business. I told him that we love together and that him not going to work is mind business because it affects me as well. Am I in the wrong?
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How do I deal with an emotionally abusive mom?
Posted Saturday August 14 2021, 7:46 pm
Both my brother and I just fought with my mother today and yesterday, and literally right now as I'm typing this, she got into her car and stormed off after fighting with my dad. I know because my dad stormed into our rooms and started blaming us for fighting with her and making her mad. I don't really care how I come across by saying this; I honestly don't give a crap that she got mad and stormed off. She's always been very quick to anger, and is verbally and emotionally abusive to both me and my brother, although less so towards my brother. She calls us things like psychotic, needing to go to the hospital, mentally ill, says there's something wrong with us, things like that. Yesterday, we got into a disagreement. We were talking about som...
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I don't know what to do with this anger?
Posted Tuesday August 3 2021, 11:42 pm
28/f
My sister called me a couple of weeks ago, grieving over our dad. She told me she feels like it was her fault that my dad died and that his health had rapidly declined (he passed away five months ago). I told her that she couldn't blame herself and that she did the best she could with what she knew and how she felt at that moment (she didn't have the greatest relationship with him and held a lot of resentment).
Even though I comforted her, I low-key blame her, too. Of course I didn't say anything because she doesn't deserve to feel worse than she already does and I wanted her to find her peace with him before he passed. But I blame her as well because all of this started two years ago while I was in Italy....
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