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Doubting my decision to move out of state


Question Posted Thursday December 9 2021, 9:20 pm

My lease is ending soon and my plan was to move out of state with my sister. But I’ve tried to contact her a couple of time to talk to her more about moving there and visiting soon but haven’t been able to talk to her. . Yesterday, she said she couldn’t talk because she was working and said she’s off tomorrow night if I want to talk. But when I called she didn’t answer. I probably talk to her about moving there a one or two ago and she was completely open to it. But, she’s dating someone new and he has a house and she was like I might just move in with him and just give you my house to you. At the time, I didn’t question it until my therapist reminded me the reason I was moving out of state was to have more support. That’s one of the things I wanted to address with my sister was my intentions. My sister lives in a house and has a I spare bedroom. I thought this would be nice upgrade for me and I could save money. I currently live by myself in an apartment and I don’t like it too much. But, I’m thinking maybe moving out of state is no longer an option. I feel like I’m taking a risk to. I’ve looked at apartments here and I don’t see anyone that I like. The ones I do like I can’t afford. My therapist suggested getting a roommate. I make a decent amount of money so never really consider it. Plus I’m in my late 20’s and didn’t want to have to deal with another person. I thought my sister would be the best living situation.

What should I do? Should I just let go of trying to move in with her?


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DrStephanie answered Sunday December 12 2021, 1:06 pm:
The problem is not that you don't have options...you do; but you don't trust your own judgement and choices. Even with a supportive therapist, you are still asking others, (here), what you should do. You didn't say why you are thinking of moving in the first place. But my suspicion is that whatever is behind your idea of moving will go with you, wherever you go, until you gain greater self confidence and to trust your own choices without being told what to do by others, including your sister,us, even your therapist.

The only thing I noticed was that you thought you could save money and havew a "nice upgrade". But if you move out of state, you would have to get another job and make sure that you are earning at least as much as you do now. From what you said, it appears that your sister isn't someone you can rely steadily upon; she doesn't know if she's going to remain in the house or move in with her boyfriend; she doesn't answer your attempts to contact her. So , be careful about relying heavily upon her for anything.

Okay. Good luck, Dr. Stephanie

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