|
My mother has a problem with me smoking tree
First off I want to say that yes I care for my mother very much ever since the loss of my sister in 2001 it has been very difficult on me and her. But I feel at times that she's trying to change me into the person I used to be... quiet,shy, never had an opinion and if I did I kept it to myself.
I love the person that I am becoming more and more everyday.. and it's not because of the smoking tree. It's because I am finally working, taking care of my kids and my self, I'm with a man that helps me to be better and do better daily for my kids. She doesn't understand that I have had extreme depression because a lot of things that have happened in my life, it all started when I was 4 yrs old and was hurt by my dad's brother., nobody believed me then and tried to save me like I wanted. Then again when I was 19 yrs old and my own father hurt me, I did everything I could to more less save myself from him because of all the pain that he was causing me. My question to you is., why does it matter so much that I smoke tree when I take care of my bills, my kids, and do that to keep my depression down so I don't have to end up taking pills again and end up having another mental break?
Any advice would definitely help.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
What is "smoking tree"? I tried to look it up and only got info for actual trees. I'm sure you meant something else?
It sounds like there are definitely some issues to further explore and resolve,however. Are you in therapy? I might suggest this, if I knew more about your background and just what "smoking tree" means.
If you are indeed using pot, it would be worthwhile for you to check out, on line, the effects. Pot is not the benign,harmless substance that many believe it to be.
You mentioned a history of depression. Did you know that using pot and depression are linked ? Check it out on line, see the Mayo Clinic website.
It also depends upon where you live, as to whether its legal or not. You have kids. What would happen to them,if you were arrested? Good wishes, Dr. Stephanie
Dr. Stephanie
]
I assume you are not talking of a plant called Smoking Tee but that you smoke Pot and say it helps with depression. I don't believe that pot is any longer thought of as a bad thing by most people because those in retirement age are using it too now for various aches and issues that conventional meds are not working on. For example, I have had insomnia my whole life and could manage it until it got worse as I got older so now I use it to go to sleep. Heck my Doctor knows and thinks nothing of it.
If you want to smoke weed, then that's your business, as long as you don't end up so high you can't take care of your responsibilities. Just don't smoke in Moms presence.
I understand you are trying to be polite in using words. So when you say hurt by uncle and dad, I am assuming sexual abuse rather than simply beating physically. Most would say a parent beats them which is also not right. Whether the abuse is mental/emotional as mine was with my ex or physical of any kind, the abused party will need counseling to help move on in life without depression. It doesn't sound like you have clinical depression which is your bodys inability to create the feel good hormones your brain needs to deal with heavy hard things. This sounds more like you are saying you have depression due to the things that happened to you. I know this as I have family, a daughter who was depressed after an incident in her life but not before that. She got a list of things to do to raise the amount of feel good hormones in her body. Depressed is another word for the situation of being too low in something and often totally out or run dry, meaning there is nothing left in you to deal with the situations of your past. I can't speak for your Mom but she may not be over grieving for your sister or if Dad was or still is abusive to her in anyway including verbal abuse. It could be some issues in her mind she hasn't moved on from that have her trying to change you. If you both haven't had counseling, you need it. Believe me, I did after my divorce to undo coping mechanisms I began to use by habit to deal with the abuse but these things were not conducive to healthy relationships with others and could possibly cause problems. I have an older daughter who had depression after giving birth on top of depression she hid well from me and not because I overlooked my kids, or did not look for signs. I did but depression where most the signs for it are hidden is not. She got on meds but went off them because she did not like the side effects. So what would you say if there was a way to check if you can bring those levels of feel good hormones up so you can deal with your depression to the point you can keep it at bay or get totally rid of it? This is what I find so archaic in the mental health field, they medicate rather than go for the root of the problem. A friend loaned me a book by the psychologist turned author, David D. Burns. He was originally one of those Drs. not open to new methods until a colleague told him there was nothing to lose if he tried some of these methods on some of his patients who were not responding well to anything so far. His website is here: [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
He was so booked up, he gave a book that talks of the subject to his waiting patients to read until he could see them. By time their appointment came, they had read and resolved their depression by following what they read and some were improved. That won the Dr. over. Dr. Burns discovered that the majority of people diagnosed as depressed and only medication can help, were a small fraction of all his clients. the majority responded well to what is called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. If you have health insurance that covers mental health, check the list of approved psychologists and look for one who has CBT after their credentials or mentions it as how they work with depression. It works hon, cus I used a method just like this before even knowing of the Dr. And when I read his book, it had the same solution for social anxiety I had as a teen and kid and I realized it would be too hard to navigate the adult world with my severe anxiety so I followed the recipe I was given, working at my own pace til comfortable, step by step until after about 2 months or a bit over, I was no longer anxious and at 63, still not anxious nor any signs of depression, and oh yes, best of all, now have a new husband who is a keeper! If you want the list of things you can try to raise your feel good hormones, I will share it but you will have to ask me for it by going to my advice column 'dragonflymagic' and writing to me from there. By the way, the one free visit on company insurance that my daughter used to see a psychologist, he recognized she had situational depression which is the most common that most people actually have and one can easily follow the list and find help and get better . He gave her that list since she couldn't afford to see him again and pay out of pocket. The list she showed me was the same as the list I can give you. I won't send unless you really want to try and ask for it. Meanwhile, I still say, find a counselor because being sexually abused or abused physically in other ways is something people don't recover from well on their own without the help of a proper psychologist. If you want to smoke, then do so. Or for time you might be around Mom, there are edibles or candies that work the same, at least they do for me, although I sometimes smoke bud, but vape half the time. All work well on me. Blessings!
]
More Questions: |