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If my daughter visits her mom in jail should she ask her mom questions?
Would allowing my 15-year-old daughter to visit her mom who will be in jail for 7 months for check fraud be a bad idea even if they have a good relationship since then she will see the inside of a jail and prisoners? Not to mention her mom in a jumpsuit. My daughter would like to go and seems enthusiastic and my wife says bring her if she wants but I’m not sure
Actually my daughter does not seem scared but instead seems excited and enthusiastic to visit. This is strange to me. Do you find this normal? My daughter seems to find the idea of her mom having to wearing a uniform, sharing a room funny. I wonder why she would think it is funny. My wife says bring her if she would like to and my daughter says she would like to but I don't know if it is a good idea. She hasn't gone yet so we can still discuss it together.
Thinking I will take her. But there is no doubt my daughter will want to ask her mom questions about what it is like to share a cell and if she has to take showers with other people. Is that appropriate for a 15 year old?
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This question was dated in September 2021, but I do remember it being posted months ago . I may have even answered it then. It appears you haven't received the answer you were looking for, or perhaps you are posting again for some other reason. How can we best help you? Dr. Stephanie
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This is hard to answer simply because it involves a teen at an impressionable age. What I am mainly speaking of is brain development in teens, and the pre frontal cortex which is the last part of brain to become mature as an adults brain. That doesn't happen according to scientists until around age 25 in people. You and me, we were like that too at her age. It isn't something you can find a way around. I am attaching an article I want you to read on the subject and use what you read there to make your decision. Don't brush this off. Teens are incapable of planning ahead, seeing possible problems of any of their actions therefore it is always a possibility that she could make a rash decision and decide she wants to see what it feels like to be in there and do something to land her in juvenile jail.
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As to why the daughter may be plain and simply excited to see Mom, not looking at all her other ideas, is that children want the close relationship with a mother and father and often those who have parents mistreating them, still love their parents and want the relationship. She may be missing Mom. If you can call the wife at a time daughter isn't around to hear you talk, then ask wife to not glorify the place, speak plain and true to the daughter about choices and consequences and how it is better to share with another adult what you are contemplating doing, BEFORE you do it so you can get helpful input. Talking about her crime may be a good thing. If Mom does realize what she did is wrong and how the situation could have been avoided, simply by talking to others of financial concerns, even if it is for something smaller like money for a piece of needed furniture, or a family vacation. If the wife had talked with you and a best friend of what she was thinking and going through, others could have warned her and possibly advised her of things she could do that were legal. The daughter might think its cool to be in prison but both of you are the parents and so both of you need to coordinate ahead of visit, what to say, how to share it and refrain from saying thats its not really so bad and mom will be back soon. Downplaying this is a no no. You might want to read and share the article I gave you with wife so she knows about the issue with teens brains and issues with ability to make good decisions. Best of Luck
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