|
My husband said to "Mind my own business?"
My husband has been having an issue with going to work here lately. At first I wasn’t saying anything. But now I’m getting worried about our future. I have been now saying things about missing work and yes I have fussed about it. All he says to me is to mind my own business. I told him that we love together and that him not going to work is mind business because it affects me as well. Am I in the wrong?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Of course you are not in the wrong ! You are a married couple. And by definition, your business is also his, and vice versa.
He may lose his job. And that affects both of you.
He may be depressed or otherwise conflicted. And that affects both of you. There may be some unknown but serious problem(s) that are in need of resolution. He could even be experiencing a serious health problem.
Instead of shutting you out, he should be confiding in you and seeking your feedback and support.
Perhaps he views his role as provider and doesn't want to reveal a sense of weakness or dependence upon you. Who knows? If he won't discuss anything...its tough to say what has been going on.
To tell you to mind your own busienss is totally out of line, regardless of the cause. It is hurtful. It shuts you out and increases a divide between you, damaging what should be a partnership "In sickness and in health". It is hostile, rude, and just plain foolish. Maybe you should share this with him.
If he feels he can't or won't confide in you, perhaps he will be willing to consult a counselor instead. Something really needs to resolve this, before disaster strikes.
Do not continue to support this by maintaining silence or going along with it. Confront him now, insist that if he won't confide in you, that a counselor is in order. Perhaps it should occur in any case.
THere must be some clues: his type of work , the relationships he has with co-workers or superiors, depression perhaps, even possible health issues.
If he absolutely refuses to confide in you, or anyone else, then perhaps you should go yourself to seek counseling, in order to best deal with this potentially dire situation. Good luck and good wishes, Dr. Stephanie
]
A husband and wife are a team, like ...lets say two people who are co owners of a business. If there are two owners, one can't make a big decision without the other and what one does affects the other and the possibility of hurting the business. If looked at in that context, which is how I see it, a husband and wife are like co owners, just called marriage partners and are in a marriage together. What one does, as your husband does, will affect you. Do you have a right to be concerned? Yes, because you are marriage partners. If you were singles that sometimes dated, then you would not have the right to be concerned over any guy you know as far as what he does, doesn't do, and as much as you might like to think, doesn't affect you because it can't legally affect you. As long as you are married to him, you will be held responsible legally if anything goes wrong. If he goes into debt, so do you, if a couple splits without a legal divorce, either partner will be sought out to pay up the others debts if for some reason they can't.
The reason he says 'mind your own business' could be to deflect a conversation he is embarrassed, not ready to talk about, or never wants to admit and talk about. The truth of how this world system is set up is all about money so if you don't work, you have no money to pay for things. With the pandemic, that was reason enough for people to question how they go about bringing home the paycheck. Many who can return have decided not to and beg to do work on line from home. Since the variant is still going around, thats not a bad idea. Do you know why he is missing work? I assume he is not physically ill and does have a job? If employed by someone and not self employed, he won't have a job forever if he avoids it. So he needs to talk and if he won't do it for you, ask him to go see a counselor. If he is unwilling to admit to a problem, to talking, to seeing a professional who might be able to help him through whatever holds him back, you may have to give him an ultimatum that you are willing to go through with, no empty threats ...and that may get him moving. However, if things get really bad for both of you, then like two partners not seeing eye to eye, the company suffers and falls apart, well the same can happen to a marriage. I hope something great will happen for both of you soon.
]
More Questions: |