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Boyfriend keeps pushing me to do things I don't want to do
Me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year now. He knows I have diagnosed anxiety and I struggle to do things out of my comfort zone. Lately he's been hard pushing me to get over my fears, and while I know he's trying to help, he's doing it in a way that is starting to really upset me. I'm pretty uncomfortable around his parents and he likes to push me to interact with them more. I don't mind that, but he wants me to be alone with them. Today right before he left for work he told me to do and help his mom with her cookbook. I asked if she knew I was coming and he said no, to just knock on her houses front door and ask to help. When I said that makes me uncomfortable he just told me he'll be very disappointed in me if I didn't go and left. He also really wants me to get over my fear of death and corpses. He works to transport corpses from location of death to the funeral home. He keeps pushing me to come with him, riding in his van with a dead body in the back. I'm extremely uncomfortable and fearful of this but he keeps pushing it even after I said no. I know he wants to help, but I'd rather slowly work towards these things instead of him throwing me out into the water. I just don't know how to articulate this to him without sounding like I ding appreciate his efforts or I don't want to be around his family.
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Its been so long since I had people anxiety, long before it was called anxiety, that I am not sure I can remember it all. I was called shy, but I know now it was anxiety. Today, I have no fear of other people and what they may think of me, of making the first move to start conversation, etc. But I can tell you one thing I know for sure, being forced to work at overcoming it in a certain timeline, with the pressure of someone being disappointed in me. Not wanting to make it sound like I am using this to share about God but I am only telling my story and He is involved. I prayed to Him about my problem and actually got an answer. I was graduating HS at the time and knew my anxiety would be a problem in adulthood. I wasn't told the whole answer, just one step at a time and I was given all the time in the world to successfully complete one simple step that was not a big stretch for me. Like the first step was for me to smile briefly at a stranger as I passed them while walking. And I was literally terrified of doing that, but I personally wanted to get better so I worked at it and when ready, prayed again for the info on the second step and so forth. It sounds like the boyfriend has no clue what to do that will really help. It could make things get worse for you. Years later, I found a book in the library written by a psychologist turned author and was shocked to read about social anxiety and the remedy he wrote, was everything that I heard from God in prayer. I guess God really does know us well. Whats great, is that it isn't a race to get anywhere or to be better or what society considers perfect. Other than suggesting you check out author and psychologist David D. Burns who was at the forefront of CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) in psychology. He has a website called feeling good. [Link](Mouse over link to see full location) Hope this helps a bit.
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