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My niece moved in with us.
So my 22 year old niece moved in with my mom and i because she is going through a divorce and she brought her dog. I live her and the dog , but she and the dog is getting on my nerves. I am 34 years old and I live with my mom because I have an anxiety disorder, autism, and sensory processing disorder. My mom is disabled. My mom uses a walker if that helps any. My niece works with home health and she is supposed to be helping my mom do things she can't do that was the agreement when she moved in. Instead of paying rent and helping with groceries she would cook and clean and take me places with our car when my mom is unable to do so . The thing is we share a room and she keeps it a mess she was going through our food to see what was good a not good. It was canned goods and pre packaged items and she put them in a large trash bag and put the trash bag in a basket of clean clothes and went to her friend's house and it's been there for 2 days . It's so heavy . I can't lift it because I have a bad wrist. She blocked my vanity with her stuff where I can't even get to it . She put stuff in front of my TV in my room where I can't even get to it to watch it. The room is so messy I don't even know how to go about cleaning it. I have talked to my mom and I have asked her if she can't clean up the room can she ask her to leave. My mom says she will talk to her but she is not going to kick her out. I have tried talking to her myself but she doesn't listen to anything I say. I called her mother and asked her to talk to her daughter she said she would and understands why I am upset. They have bother asked her to clean up the room and nothing we say seems to work. I can't get a place of my own because of my disabilities not only that I am on SSI benefits and can't afford my own place. I need some advice. I have tried everything. I don't know what to do . Please help! I am about ready to go to a mental hospital because I feel like I am about to have a nervous breakdown. I have OCD as well . Am I over reacting or is the way I feel understable. I feel like she is just using us because she doesn't have anywhere else to go.
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You are not overreacting. everything needs to have its own spot, and there needs to be some kind of order if for nothing else than for safety of all in the house and health. I haven't seen the set up so I can't say if it's a lack of storage for all her things or if she's just a messy or hoarder type. I have family like that, actually the stepmom of my granddaughter and the father in law whose house it is absolutely hates it but does nothing about it. He had complained to me. You have the same situation, with your mom being the house owner. I used to do care giving and am aware that people with disabilities usually have a case worker who keeps tabs on you. If you truly can not live alone, there must be some kind of group home set up for people in your situation. Call your caseworker and ask about that. Don't wait until a twice a year meet up with you to verify you are still the same and continue to need SSI. Call your contact now and ask if its even possible to get into a group home paid for by state, and let her/him know why it is so important. As long as Mom owns the home, you have no say in the matter and it sounds like she is choosing to ignore the situation because she is avoiding the drama which she probably couldn't handle anyways. You need a better living situation for peace of mind. And making a decision now or later is going to happen no matter what, as your Mom is aging and one day will no longer be around. Perhaps you will inherit the house. Even so, you couldn't live there by yourself so having it sold if there is no other family may happen. But what is important right now is calling and talking to your case worker. If you have no idea who that is, call DSHS, Department of Social and Health Services and mention why you are calling and what you need to speak to someone about. There is protection for elderly and disabled persons by law so no one can abuse them. Since you are disabled and the room you share is now unsafe, it truly is a matter for the state to be aware of and anyone coming to see you, and seeing the state in which you have to live, would likely do something about it, whatever can be done within the law. You say the niece is supposed to help, unofficially I suppose as doing some help that legal care givers do. Your mom may not qualify for the help and so has asked the niece to do it. If the niece is not doing anything to help your Mom and simply taking advantage of the situation, then you have to talk to someone about it because Mom and your niece certainly aren't going to. I know it may be tough for you to do. Just dial operator on the phone, ask for your local DSHS number. My local offices have cut personnel and have quite a wait time on phone. Hopefully yours doesnt. This is the best advice I can give. Oh, by the way, in a group home, you should not have to share a room but have your own bedroom but the rest of living spaces are shared.
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