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getting over my ex
i love my new boyfriend but i think im still in love with my ex . its causing problems in my rekationship and i dont know how to get over my ex so that i move on
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Maybe it's just a quality you like about the ex. When we are in the dating world, most of us are in it just for the excitement and maybe love of the moment but few of us do not look at it as a time to learn what we really like in a possible partner. I didn't either until I came across some info and by then I was married to someone it eventually didn't work out with.
The information I am talking about, I call it Finding Mr. Right. It involved making lists to remind yourself of what qualities you liked in a guy and then also the things you did not like about a guy. Hopefully you find the next person being an upgrade in character, having the good qualities of the last one, but not possessing the things you did not like about the last one. Sometimes, just realizing this is enough to break that hold of feelings you have for your ex.
Your lists need to be one about things you Need in a partner and the things you want. A 'need' list is something you can't live without, a must have such as non alcoholic, clean of drugs, non smoker, wants to have children. If you don't particularly care if he drinks till drunk or smokes then these items don't belong in this list. The second list is of 'wants' but if he doesn't possess these qualities, it's not a game changer like the first list. On a list like this, I put that it would be nice if he likes to sing, dance, has long hair. I got the long hair but not the others and I am truly okay with that...this would be my 2nd husband. If you were not just dating but sexual as well with the ex, then there are ties created linking you to him. It could be those ties that are keeping your feelings linked to him. The matter does go deeper than that, based on what I've read in the Bible but I won't go there unless asked to. So what you can try to do is imagine a cord linked from you to him and imagine you using a big pair of ceremonial scissors likes those used at a ribbon cutting for the opening or christening of something. Picture yourself cutting that cord and know there is no chance of going back when you do that. So you must be ready to acknowledge that relationship is definitely over and you are not going back if the current one doesn't work either.
Piece of advice on getting into a new relationship. It may sound awkward but I've found it very important to ask and find out what a guy is currently looking for in a girlfriend. Some are into cyclical monogamous dating, meaning while dating one girl they are loyal to only her until relationship ends and they move on to the next. Others are not monogamous in dating or marriage and will want to see several women at once. Some of only looking for a female to have one fun, going to movies, out to dinner. Some want to extend that fun to sex but without any commitments. Having sex and making love are two different things to them. Having sex doesn't mean they love you. Now if you are okay with any of these views, then don't expect a guy to change in the future. If you are looking for a long term partner who loves you, then the guy right now needs to be of the same mind set. Hope this bit of info is helpful to you as well.
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