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not allowed to see grandchild or even talk
Im at my wits end, nobody seems to care. Its been 6 years , my daughter got in a fight with my son, has not allowed me to see my grandson, who I love dearly because I told her it was wrong to assult my son. She blocked me in every way. Now I'm sure my grandson probably doesnt even remember me, he was 3 . Its has devastated me . I've tried I've begged my family to help , I sent cards, gifts texts unreturned, calls ignored. ITS KILLING ME.She has never been kind or good to me, never said I love you or even called me mom. Do I give up, do I hire an attorney, do I show up and try to talk to her at her job? I don't know her address she has moved, now getting a divorce. Im afaraid I will never see them again.
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I am in a similar situation. I am doing the only thing I can, which is to pray for my oldest daughter and her family. Like in your story, mine moved out of state. Had a child in first marriage, divorced, married again, didn't want any more kids so they divorced. The problems started when she met her current husband. I never met him in person, only spoke once on phone before she married him, no wedding so all I know is what the guy told me, a story about being abused sexually by his dad. Stories from this daughter told me of really bizzare behavior like running out the door at night screaming for no reason, barefoot, shirtless and coming back much later looking like he had been in some tussles with someone. She eventually came to me and told me she never wanted to see me or her Dad ever again and proceeded to tell me why, a story that matched all the details her husband had told me on the phone years ago. I was accused of things that never happened. At first she said she would go to her aunts to visit for Christmas, something we do each year since Mom died. However, they were not there long before my brother in law asked if he was going to see his family for Christmas too. That one question unhinged this young man who threatened to kill their whole family. My sis didn't want him there ever again but that problem was solved when they moved out of state right after. Soon we are contacted by Child Protective service regarding my grand daughter who was now attending Kindergarten. A teacher noticed bruises all over her and contacted authorities. The whole family was offered to be on a multiple person phone call regarding the future of that child. By now she was pregnant from this crazy husband. No one in the family could take her. All of us are very poor and barely getting by including myself. But the crazy guys Mom wanted to be in touch with me so we talked and the grand daughter was put in custody of herd birth father. Although nice, he had remarried a woman who has turned out to be a hoarder with two boys from two dads and acts exactly like the stepmother of Cinderella with that child treated as Cinderella.Basically her bio kids can do no wrong and granddaughter is blamed for everything and grounded more days of the month than not. Going back in little in time, when my grandaughter was born, now 14 yrs ago, my daughter confessed to having depression during HS but hadn't told me at the time. Now there was the added post partum depression with thoughts of killing herself or the baby. So I took her to her Dr. She was put on meds but after a while, she hated how it made her feel and totally stopped taking them. So she was unstable in some ways herself before meeting and marrying her third husband. I talked by phone quite often with the mom of the crazy husband to my daughter. She told stories, where it showed how naive she was. She told of head banging on the wall, tossing a sister down a flight of concrete steps and the dad, her ex husband now wanting to come over to borrow money. She said yes, they sat to have tea and when she wasn't looking he put poison in her tea. Luckily one son was home in his room and found her gasping for air. That same man told his new wife as soon as they were married, that now she can't do any testifying against him to reveal he had killed a person in his past on purpose. Sounds all like a soap opera huh? I came to my own conclusions after a few more stories that the father was a psychopath and it sounds like the son is likely one as well. Theres much more dirt in this story I tell.But I will skip to the current day, where I have a 2nd granddaughter through my oldest, whom I have never met, have no idea how old she is now but I am guessing at least 10 years old. Have no idea where they live, no phone, no contact. I doubt the child even knows she has grandparents as the crazy daddy has cut himself off from all his family. His mom died recently but he has 3 grown siblings who don't hear from him either. So my story is as heart breaking as yours. Having dealt with and talked to CPS, whomever has custody of a child, gets to keep that child, unless someone can prove harm to the welfare of the child. The law can't demand a grandmother be able to see her grandchild. So you are as stuck as me. The only difference is that I don't let the situation 'kill me' by affecting my mental or physical health. Been there once with an ex who was verbally abusive. I know how stress can affect a persons health. Either it goes to attack you mentally, and depression is very likely or physically with all sorts of ailments. I had lots of stress caused illnesses. If I had stayed with my ex instead of leaving, I would not be alive today to answer you. I was told that cancer or a fatal heart condition were the ultimate and that I likely didn't have much time left if I stayed. I left of course and that was a hard situation to go through. I don't consider myself having given up, but I do the only thing I can since I believe in prayer. I may not see my other granddaughter ever in this lifetime, but am pretty sure I will get to see her once I get to Heaven. In fact, I will probably see my daughter too. I will be praying for your situation as well. I know its hard but I know you can enjoy your life again, even though there is this nasty situation in it.I can tell you to try to be at peace, even with all this, but we can't do it on our own. You can try. But in the end, it may be that the only thing you can do is pray as well, and while at it, ask Jesus to give you peace. Not pushing religion here, just one Mom to another trying to tell you what is helping me deal with it.
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