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Meeting my boyfriends daughter!
I a 34 year old female with no kids of my own and never been married. I will have been dating this awesome guy for 6 months on April 27th that I am am in love with . His daughter from a previous marriage who lives in California to Georgia where we live for a visit for the whole summer in July. I am concerned she won't like me . I am really excited about meeting her , but I also nervous because I've never been around any kids besides family and don't want to do or say the wrong thing to make the 6 year old not like me . He wanted me to go Disney world with them for her birthday,but I politely declined because I feel like that should be a trip with just her and her dad and I don't want to intrude to early in the relationship. I was wondering if I did the right thing or was that the wrong move ? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks .
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You didn't mention her age but I am assuming she is school aged. If younger it would be more of a challenge for you to feel comfortable. Kids like to mimick adults. So if you have some hobbies that you can introduce her to, that might make for a good start. Lets say you like making jewelry. Show her how if simple enough, maybe she can make matching friendship bracelets for her and friend.
Then a precaution. You may want to wait on marriage if it comes to that until you know how life would be with his daughter with you around regardless if just for summer visits or if it may change to year around. If she's never been to Georgia,then taking her to see local sightseeing places might be a good activity. If any situations arise where the kid seeks advice herself, be bold and share, and this way you will see whether this boyfriend will share her with you and trust what you have to say or how you handle things with her. Some divorced parents do not like to share their child with anyone new, only the other birth parent and may become very angry,especially if it concerns trying to enforce the rules by at least reminding the child and if time outs are warranted, then a parent can become angry and territorial. that is enough to break up a dating relationship or a second marriage. Since the daughter has never met you yet,all you have to do is place yourself in her shoes to know you made the best decision to decline. It doesn't mean you don't have to celebrate her Birthday in any way at all, just give a wrapped gift when they come back. I know if I had one parent taking me to Disney or any other special place for a Birthday, it would reel awkward to be myself, let loose and enjoy myself. If I had to interact with someone I don't know yet, I would probably ignore the person and get called out for being unfriendly.It's a different story if she has had at least one full summer to get to know you, to go as a family. Iam sure the boyfriend doesn't want to be parted from you for the time he will be away at Disney Land. Then again, it's possible he only invited you and said he really wanted you to go only to not anger you by leaving you out. Maybe he really did want just father daughter time. If he protests, you can always explain that she needs to have met you before and begun a relationship with you before you go along on a big venture like this so in a year or two you'd be glad to go, that's if all works out well.
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