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Going to club
So my niece is 21 and is getting a divorce and I am 33 never been married so I don't know if this ok or not . She wants me to go the club with her next weekend,but I am in a steady relationship with someone we have been dating for almost 5 months . I really don't want my niece at a club by herself ,but my niece is in a different town than my boyfriend. I am supposed to bending the with her. Do I need to tell my boyfriend about my plans and see if he is ok it because I know my niece will go by herself if I don't go with her . Please help !
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The fact you even asked if this is ok means that there is something you feel about it. Would you feel guilty going? Would you feel bad about dancing with any guy who asked? I really think your boyfriend would need to know especially if you are feeling its so important. I know if it were me, I would feel worried about a family member, already divorced/ or planning to, at such a young age and already going into an environment where she'd be hit on by many men.
If this was the only time she ever went somewhere where she could get herself into trouble, then I would ask my husband if he would go with me so we could keep watch over her. I already know what my husband would say and most likely any male who isn't as emotionally motivated. Men tend to look at logic and the logistics are that she will go to a club more than once and maybe single meet up groups, or bars to pick up a guy. So my husband and your boyfriend would say something along the lines of, we could go just this once but that doesn't really help because she could go to a bar when we haven't been told. She may in the end resent us for following her around acting like her personal bodyguards. If she hasn't learned a thing from the marriage to someone it did'nt work out with, then she will not be ready for a few years to fend for herself but is old enough to make some good decisions. Unfortunately most people aren't mature enough at her age, me included...as I married at age 20 or truthfully a month before I turned 20. I did not know any better ahead of time and the man I thought was a safe bet as a church goer, ended up verbally abusive. So its not that I am against people marrying young, its just that our brain is still playing catch up in getting to full maturity when our bodies were mature long ago. Scientists say the brain is on average done growing at 25. Even then, we may not make the best decisions for ourselves. If she is going to make a bad decision and thats why you want to go, then forget it because she is going to go out and go looking for a new guy, whether you are there or not. If she simply wants the company, you tell her you will ask your boyfriend and if he doesn't want to go along or she doesn't want him along even if he's willing, then to count you both out and at that point, she could simply ask a girlfriend who is single to go out with her to the club.
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