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How to address a breakup if you work together
Dated my co-worker in secret for the past 3 years. She never wanted to come out for fear of repercussions at work. We talked about a future together and I fell hard. Now she broke it off and wants space. I am in love and want some advice on dealing with it since I see her every day at work.
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Knowing how she feels is going to be an unknown so you can only act on what is right for you. Since dating coworkers is not okay, to address the issue with her at work would mean having to possibly tell the truth of dating 3 years. The only thing I see you can do is finding a way to conceal your feelings and working the job anyways, or slowly start to search around for another place to work.
I have no advice on how to Make her change her mind. A person has no control that can make another person love them or even just like them. Everyone was given a free will and there is nothing you can do to change hers. If she will not give you a chance to talk and see if any issues can be ironed out at least away from work, then you have no options but the two I mentioned. Perhaps she has chickened out and now after 3 yrs fears getting found out. Knowing a friend working elsewhere who was caught could be the issue. The battle is always in our minds. I have no idea why she would change after 3 years. But keep this in mind. If a couple were meant to be together, besides love and sex, they need to be able to be best friends. And I will state that a true best friend is someone you can confide in and talk about anything that lays heavy on your heart, without fear of being ridiculed, ignored, etc.
So if she can not or you can not have that heart to heart talk and find out what the issue is and be willing to work through it, then one or both of you are not ready to be in relationship together., I know that sounds harsh and judgemental but my spouse is first my best friend and we can talk about anything with both being supportive of the other. I know its possible and also know from a past marriage where we were never best friends, that it does not work. I wish you well. If you are open to it, pray and ask for help, to know whether she really is the one, and if not, for the feelings you have to eventually in time, fade away. It would be like a spouse grieving the death of their partner before able to move on.
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