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Ridiculously overprotective parents?
I posted something along the lines before but it’s really getting frustrating the way they’re treating me now. I’m 19M in UK but my parents never let me go anywhere by myself- I always have to tag another family member along; maybe they think because I’m autistic, I need more support? But in actuality, with me being autistic, I prefer my own company. I have a hobby of just going to see TV shows being recorded but all the time I have to have another person along with me; who may find whichever show’s in question boring. As well as that, I quite like exploring the surrounding area which is pretty hard to do when you have another person joined at your hip. Also, I can’t drive (I’m dyspraxic so struggle with coordination) so usually either 1) my parents will take me, or 2) take public transport, but again another person always has to tag along- my parents think I need more “practice” before getting public transport alone- the only way to practice that is just to do it! But then of course I don’t have the money to pay for public transport myself, because my parents always try to talk me out of the jobs I’m interested in saying that they don’t think I’m ‘ready’ or that I can’t juggle both college and a job; even if I did have the money, I don’t have a bank account set up to store it in…. it’s like they don’t realise I’m an adult- whenever I explain how I feel they just say ‘well we’ve never dealt with our kids being an adult before’ as I’m the oldest- except they have dealt with me being an adult for the past year. I shouldn’t need permission for anything at this age- it’s rather creepy that they’re babying me really. But they don’t baby my younger 15 year old sister- they let her do what she wants and treat her more like an adult than their actual adult offspring. Maybe it’s because she has somewhat more of a social circle? Except the primary reason I don’t is my parents don’t want me going anywhere by myself or without their permission to the point that I can’t even form a social Circle. It’s also ridiculous that they’re so protective because what if I at some point want to start dating? I’m at that age now… I can’t be dragging along a relative everywhere then because that’s just invasive and will likely put potential dates off me for having such an overprotective family; And if I ever did have a date, I’d just tell my parents I was going to recording; Except that won’t work because they’ll try and force another family member to tag along- it’s ridiculous. And also I wouldn’t be able to make my own journey there due to no job= no money, and no money= nothing to pay for any transport with. Ifeel really infantilised by my parents- I feel like I need permission to go anywhere and then I sometimes go on walks but I feel like I ‘have’ to always go the same short route otherwise they get concerned as to my whereabouts - I’d like for once to maybe go a longer route but I know my parents won’t be too happy about that, aka they’re too overprotective of their adult son. It’s baffling because there are people my age with jobs who end up partying and drinking until 3-4AM- I’m not interested in that- all I’m interested in is being allowed out of my house without permission and getting a job. But my parents have no issue with my ‘party animal’ cousins who are the same age as me regularly going out til all sorts of hours of the morning… I don’t plan to go out anywhere that late as that’s more of an extrovert environment and I’m a more introverted person- I guess they’re more lenient with my cousins because they’re not their own kids? Just their siblings’ kids? But it is ridiculous- these cousins juggle jobs, college and hobbies (even if their hobby of partying is of no interest to me), and my parents don’t bat an eyelid- one of these cousins is even younger than me… so I wonder why is it when it comes to me, they don’t think I’d be able to juggle college, a job, and my hobby of simply sitting in a crowd and watching a show for by myself for a few hours?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
What I suggest is try talking to your parents and telling them how you feel. Mabtye they just don't realize how their over protectiveness is making you feel.
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