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GF Makes Me Earn Kisses
My GF is the greatest and I would do anything for her and I am like so lucky she likes me back the same way. She does this weird thing though on kissing. If I ask her for a kiss, she tells me I have to earn it and makes me do some kind of dare each time to get a kiss. Sometimes it is some kind of exercise thing depending on where we are like so many pushups or situps. She knows I can stand on my hands so sometimes she makes me do that for her. Sometimes she makes thump my chest and holler like Tarzan. Sometimes she makes me flex my arm for her like I am some sort of skinny body builder. Sometimes she makes me try to recite the lyrics to her favorite Taylor Swift songs. Yes, I memorized them. What is up with the whole earning a kiss thing? It is a cute game I guess and showing off is fun and I don’t truly mind and some of it makes me feel sexy, but is this normal? Why does she do this? Should I even care as long as I get her kisses in the end? By the way we have not had sex. This is just about kissing. Should I just play along since she seems to like making me do stuff? BTW I am 15 and she is 16 if it matters.
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I have not heard of such a game between couples, but when it comes to flirting and love, couples will develop their own little games, role play or key words that mean something entirely different to them than the original meaning, usually a private thing. So I can't say whether it is normal. But as long as you are willing to go along with and enjoy, I see no problem.
So your questions on why she does this, I can't answer. Also on whether you should care that she does this, is a matter of personal taste so only you can answer that. Since you wrote in anyways, even if you write that its no problem, you must have some concern or you would not have written. Perhaps your only concern is in not differing from what other couples do so that you don't stand out as strange. Teens typically are very concerned what others think of them, want to be liked and so will decide that in order to fit in, they must become one with the majority of the crowd or risk standing out. If this is your concern, remember that your teen years are a brief time compared to the rest of your life and by time people hit their mid twenties, they have usually grown up mentally a bit and many no longer tease, pick on, haze or whatever it was they did. I wasn't confident as a teen but gained confidence as an adult after my 30s. Since I mentioned confidence, the fact your girlfriend has come up with this idea of you 'earning' your kisses, she has quite a bit of confidence, more than most girls would have to even demand it. If she had suggested it, that would have left room for both of you to decide whether you wanted to try this. Communication is vital for a relationship to work...good communication. If you are confused, a demand is, " "I want to do this. . ." rather than a suggestion like "what do you think if we played a game where I made you earn my kisses". The healthier option is making the choice to choose together. So there is a slight chance she may be the one in control /in power rather than it being equal status on power and control. A person can only gain control over someone if that someone gives it away. You did not refuse at some point to do this. Once or twice is cute for the one of something new and unpredictable but over and over without end in sight, you could possibly tire of it. Then you may be afraid to say anything for fear of losing her. I was married first time to a man who was abusive and controlling. The only chance to resolve that situation was for us to divorce. I am not saying that she is like this, controlling of the whole relationship, but if she ends up being that way, just know that is abnormal and it is or can become abusive. You both are still young and nothing may come of this. But if in scrutinizing her closely, you begin to realize that in this relationship, its all about her, then its not equal and that means a relationship that is not satisfying for both of you. If you need more descriptions to understand, then the making you do stuff to earn a kiss is either innocent or the beginning of an uneven relationship where she tells you what the agenda is for both of you on a particular day, what movie she wants you to go to with her and so on...never having it occur to her that she has no idea if you even liked the plans as well and the same movie or if you are just going along to make her happy, and it never differs, then its not healthy. This is more info than you wanted but you are in the time of life where you start learning what you like and don't like about females and that is very important when it comes to choosing whom you will be with life long, whether married or not. Marriage and such may be a long ways off but learning what you like and what won't work for you in a relationship is NOW, you learn, sometimes the relationship burns and you move on to learn something new from another gal. Make sure its not just one thing you like about a gal but almost everything on that mental list of what you like and with each relationship, try to choose so each time is an improvement rather than settling for less. So either whats going on now is innocent and to be enjoyed for what it is, or it might be the beginning of something worse.
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