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How to deal with overprotective parents (part 2)
Hi, I posted a question here the other day (when I was logged out, had to log in to post link to it)- [Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
and this question was about my overprotective parents. I spoke to them about the job thing and they were more understanding but still want me to see a career advisor before applying for that first job- they're treating me as if I'm a little child, I'm 19 for goodness sake, I'm an adult (even if just about).
But it's not the job thing that's annoying me the most currently- it's the fact that I feel I need their permission to go anywhere; surely, at my age, I should be free to go to where I want without needing to ask/inform anyone about it- they should only be concerned if I didn't come back, and I think they baby me due to my autism as I mentioned in my previous question. Such as doing my hobby of sitting in the audience for TV shows- I always need to inform them beforehand and they always make me drag another family member with me (even those who are younger than me and are seemingly 'allowed' to go to places themselves). I'd also prefer to go to these things alone as because I like to walk around the area on my own and take it in in a way you can't with another person joined at the hip- I also like to see if I can spot any celebrities to ask for photos (as I want to start a hobby of collecting pictures with celebrities) which I'd be more confident doing if I didn't have a family member watching me. As well as that, sometimes the family member I bring along will want to leave early which means I also have to leave early- if I go on my own, that problem doesn't occur as I feel I'm more patient. It's like they don't understand that I rather enjoy my own company.
My parents always feel the need to intervene with these things that don't really have anything to do with them- and they say I need practice with public transport- but sometimes they even say they want me to be more independent yet they are increasingly holding me back from doing so by saying that I need practice- when will that practice stop. It's very ironic and contradictory. I don't even have my own bank account set up yet despite me having asked for one for quite a while now, they won't let me have one. It's like they don't realise I'm an adult- I have cousins and siblings younger than me who go to places by themselves but for some reason my parents don't want to let that happen for me. It's bizarre- us people on the spectrum are going to have to be independent at some point in our lives- parents delaying that from happening will only hinder us in future is then we feel like our younger (non-autistic) peers are ahead of us at every aspect of life.
But they're my main mode of transport due to my inability to drive- I don't have the money for public transport; I don't have the money because I don't have a job (or bank account) and don't have a job since my parents won't let me- so I can't really go anywhere without my parents- it's frustrating at my age. I'm getting to an age where I may want to start dating- I can't be dragging along a relative then because that's just invasive and will likely put potential partners off me for having such an overprotective family etc- if ever did have a date, I'd just tell my parents I was going to sit in the audience at a show- but that wouldn't work because they'd try and force another family member to tag along so that cover-up won't work due to the seemingly strong power my parents have over me in life. There are people younger than me who go to places by themselves, who have jobs, who have partners etc.
I'm thinking it may partially be because I don't really have a friend circle- I attend a small college where I didn't know anyone at all when I started- and when I've tried to speak to people there, none of them really share any mutual interests. So my parents don't undertstand that their reluctance of letting me to go to all these other places (without them being present) is effectively preventing me from starting new friendships, and if they keep holding me back from doing that, I won't be able to form any new friendships at all with their over-protectiveness- with my parents restricting me from going anywhere alone, there's nowhere for me to make new friends. And they fail to allow me to do that as a young adult, I'm *really* going to struggle in my 40s, 50s and beyond as I wouldn't have had the youth experience- it's like they try to hijack every experience. At the moment I don't even have a hangout spot where I can befriend anyone and then the same problem would arise- there'd be nowhere to go as my parents won't let me and would likely see it as suspicious if I started going out increasingly more as I'm an introvert who usually stays indoors. My parents can recommend places like college etc to make friends but I'd rather befriend someone and have a close bond develop naturally over time rather than essentially forcing somebody to be a friend- how do I get them to stop being so overprotective?
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