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I am actually scared whether I have contracted some STI or not
Hello, I am 19 year old guy from India. Two days ago I decided to test my sexuality and I had an encounter with a guy. It was oral sex which lasted for a minute or so but I did it without a condom. Before that I asked him whether he was free from STIs or not to which he said yes he had no STIs as such. After the act, I bathed myself twice.
Now this is was my first encounter which was up close. I am actually scared. I want to take a test but the cost is a huge hinderance. I cannot tell this to my parents cause they are not open about this. Luckily I have not showed any symptoms of a disease yet. I pray to God everyday that I am fine. This is a huge confidence downer for me. I am also thinking of asking him again. What should I do in this situation? I am afraid that there will be a bad blowback.
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The most common STDd to catch is the Herpes virus. The reason it is so common is that a major amount of people catch it and live with it. It doesn't kill them, just makes them miserable when there is an outbreak. First there is the oral herpes and then the one that is most often occurring on genitals but can appear other places on the body by transference of hands. I know much of this since I have herpes. I am willing to bet I have the oral kind on my genitals as it doesn't occur often, is small in the sore that appears, and heals quickly. My own mother had what my parents called cold sores but she got them regularly without colds. So I suspect they had no idea. The virus can remain dormant in your body for many years to a lifetime, so people can be a carrier and not know it. Stress will help release it so the virus which lives at the base of your nerves in the part of body that received the touch of the virus on your skin, it will rise to the surfae of your skin long before a sore starts so you can think you are not at a stage where people could catch it, but this is the most catchable stage and you can't know it. I am sensitive to my body so I do feel the subtle changes right before an outbreak so I tell my husband and we won't do anything until my sore appears and heals and then we will. I found even wiping myself when I have a herpes cycle starting, can spread the virus to another area so now I simply dab with tissue to dry. Thats how easy the virus is transferred, so if a person touches their own or partners skin which has the virus invisibly sitting on the surface of the skin and immediately after touches another part of their body, the virus can be transferred. It usually will work its way down the nearest nerve to sleep at its base until stress or what ever, wakes it to come to the surface again.
When I discovered I had it, I changed my dating profile to list that I had it. One guy answered and dated my a few months, he was a carrier too and like me, rarely had an outbreak so he wasn't scared off. Then I met my 2nd husband. Divorced first one. We have been together 13 years and he has never had the virus transfer to his genitals, likely because I can feel that stage before the outbreak. I can tell you no one with an outbreak will want sex as it is way too painful. He has the oral type of herpes, but again, I have never had that transferred to my mouth because he as well can tell when it is about to start and tells me so we don't kiss til its healed up again. Luckily for us, we don't get sores often, but maybe twice a year or less. I will say that from my experience in talking with people who have herpes, it seems the oral type is a milder case than the physical kind. It is possible if he was a carrier but he didn't have sores and never had an outbreak but carried the virus and it was now on the surface of his skin that it could be transferred to you, but that is a lot of Ifs, so it is unlikely. Now if you are a carrier, you can go your whole life and not have your first outbreak until later, like maybe age 50. I went my whole life without a first outbreak until I hit 49. It was then I discovered both sisters have it as well. I am willing to bet that somehow, a few of us caught the oral version from a kiss from Mom, wiped our mouth if kiss was sloppy and then went to use bathroom and in wiping, it was transferred from a hand to the skin of the genital area. It is far fetched sounding, but would explain why we all don't get it often and its tiny short lived sores for us all. So most people who think they don't have it, actually do and carry it their whole lives before the virus finally travels up the nerve root to sit on the surface. Other STDs will likely have different symptoms I was told here in US that Drs do not test for Herpes with an STD test because it is so common for people to have a version of Herpes that 1 out of every 4 people have it. You would have to ask for the test which I did after my divorce and wanting to find a man to remarry. That is when I found it. I then didn't have an outbreak for around 5 years after learning I had it. So all you can do is let a new partner know that you have had unprotected sex. However, since herpes will appear anywhere you specifically touch with hands that have come into contact with the virus, which can't be seen and no sore to know better, then a partners hands or genitals can transfer it and not always to where you might imagine. So if not on the penis, it can be near it as photos on the internet do show, it appears somewhere on the skin nearby, such as the labia on women not inside the vagina. This leads me to believe that a condom is not the best protection if the infection is elsewhere. I never think about whether sex one night will start an infection somewhere for me. Another fairly common virus is called HPV Human Papillomavirus is one that gets genital warts. This is one easily transferred to women inside the vaginal area and can result in warts, cancerous ones that need treatment. So yearly checkups are a must. I have the non cancerous ones and have had it for about 15 or so years that I recall Drs. saying I have it. This is found in female checkups for anything that could go wrong with her genitals. Wearing a condom will protect a lot but not fully 100% due to what I explained. It is best to not go having sex with someone out of curiousity as you have, but finding that someone you love who loves you back, male or female, and sticking to sex with only them. You can't erase the possibility you caught it. But there is the chance you already have it from before and just don't know it. Many can be a carrier, pass it on and not have the virus on the skin go to full sore, maybe a little irritation and then traveling down the nerve again. As I said, stress is a big key ingredient as to whether you have an outbreak to begin with and mine stress was a divorce and leaving abusive husband. Until you can afford a test to check for herpes, you will not know unless you get sores. The sores can start looking like waterblisters, and when the skin pops, you have an area where the nerves don't have protective cover of skin, so its painful and hurts when clothing rubs against it, or fluids like urine touch it and make it burn worse. If real bad, I've heard there is a medicine you can ask Dr. for that helps heal it faster but I have never needed it. As for any other STDs, you won't know until you have a test, which some people do after a breakup so they can have something to show a new partner, that they are clear of STDs. Others infections will differ in what the symptoms are so if concerned, look it up on line to see what it could be and best to see your Dr. Peace of mind is a great thing if you can save up for the test.
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