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How do I make the boy next door my boyfriend?
You know that like saying about the boy next door. Well a hottie literally moved next door and I need advice. His name is Riley, which is so cute. Riley is 15 and he is a Caucasian boy with wavy red hair, freckles on his face and shoulders, and a goofy smile that like goes to one side. I am 16 and mixed Asian descent but our family identifies as Korean. He is younger but taller than me by a lot. He is kind of shy but kind of not at the same time. He goes around shirtless or sometimes a sleeveless muscle shirt with a superman logo or a green lantern logo. I mostly see him when he is doing chores and moving stuff and digging stuff and moving gravel and crap for a greenhouse his parents are building. The are like putting solar panels on it for some reason. At first he was shy and just said hello and stuff and did not talk much. But he smiled at me a lot and he has such a cute smile. It was kind of obvious I am watching him whenever he is outdoors and we even joked about it. I stand on our trampoline and just watch him over our fence. I asked him about his green house and he is really smart and told me all kinds of stuff about how to build things and plants and solar power. His parents are both college teachers so I guess he learns a lot from them. He laughed when I told him he was a green house nerd. He asked why I was always spying on him and I got really brave and just said right out “I love watching your muscles.” He blushed so so so red and then like turned away and would not face me. I thought I made him mad but he said that was the first time anyone said something like that to him and it kind of blew him away. I told him his muscles were perfect that he should never wear a shirt again and I could watch him all day. He gets red so easy and it goes from his face to his shoulders and neck. I asked if I should stop talking about his muscles and said no that he really liked it and it made him feel good so now I just keep doing it. He said he did not know how to flirt good and I said to just keep flexing. Now like a joke he flexes his bicep for me. We have an above ground pool and I wanted to invite him swimming but it was all gross and green even with the cover over the winter. I told him and he said he would help and he knew about the chemicals. We drained it and the liner was slimy so he got in the pool and scrubbed it with these big sponges on his hands and knees while I watched and sprayed with the hose sometimes and sometimes sprayed him. I got to watch him be all sweaty even close which was fun. After we cleaned it though there was a leak and we could not go swimming. He felt bad because he thinks it was his fault cause there was not a tear before. We did not get to swim because of the leak so that is sad and my parents said they will patch it. We did have a water fight and he looked so hot dripping wet. He is kind of dorky and shy but at the same time he is getting a little more cocky because I keep boosting him about his muscles. He is not a big body builder but he is so defined like low body fat you can see all of his muscles work and move when he just does ordinary stuff but his arms and abs are mega sexy cause they flex so perfect. He does this thing a lot where he stretches and it makes me want to kidnap him. He said he does not use weights but he does like some routine that you don’t need weights to do and he did some pullups for me cause I would not shut up and I think I want him to do pullups for me all day on my birthday LOL. He says he has adhd and so his parents give him lots of chores and he exercises a lot to call down too like if he cannot go to sleep he just exercises which I think is hot as hell. I have a purple swimsuit which is a little small for me and makes me look hyper sexy I think. Even though we did not go swimming I wore it while I watched him scrub the pool and he said “holy hell” when I walked out and I said what and he said it was a compliment and he did look at me a lot and I made him admit he had a boner and he blamed the purple swim suit’s fault and all my talk about his muscles. I was asking him a lot about dating and girlfriends and he thinks it is funny I just blurt stuff out and ask so much stuff but he says he likes it because he is shy and it makes him talk. Basically it was like truth or dare except all truth and only I got to ask. He said the girls where he lived before thought he was weird because of his always being distracted and fidgety and hardly talking and he did not do sports because he always made mistakes not paying attention. He admitted he was a virgin when I kept asking. We are both virgins. He said he thinks about sex a lot but has never even dated a girl. I normally don’t talk to boys like this but it was so fun making him blush and he was like so patient with me and I was nervous so I just kept talking and he laughed so much because I was so over the top so we just had fun with it. What sucks is he is gong to be homeschooled so I will not see him after summer at school but maybe that means I can keep him to myself. I drove him to Quick Trip to get slushes when he was looking really sweaty. We joked it was our first date. He paid but I had to go in the store because he did not have a shirt and he says he does not like being in crowded places. I could tell he was nervous about the people so I guess he has some social anxiety, but I don’t mind. He got in trouble for wandering off with me to do our pool and go to Quick Trip but his mom was nice and he had to go back to the green house thing so I just watched him until his dad came home and his dad gave him a lot of positive feedback and you could tell it meant a lot to him because he did really work hard and his dad waved to me and I said hi and apologized for distracting Riley and he was so nice and said he was glad Riley made a friend. As they went in the house Riley totally surprised me and did a bicep flex and wink. I want to kiss him so bad and do even more but I am mostly a big talker and flirter and he is horny but shy and does not realize what a hottie he is IMHO. This post is not about having sex btw because I think we both are going to stay virgins for a while. What I want to know is what is the best way to like turn this really good start in our first week into a real couple thing and make my hottie neighbor Riley my legit boyfriend. I don’t care about his ADHD and it is cute how he is always moving and can’t be still and is so easily off track. I will need to avoid getting him in trouble by distracting him. He knows how to juggle btw. And he can walk on his hands for like 20 seconds. We are going to time him to go even longer this summer. He agreed he needs a haircut so we are going to take care of that. So what are some idea on making Riley mine? How do I make him feel better about himself and know how awesome he is and that he should give dating a chance with me? Do you think he likes me more than just getting boner? What are some good excuses for him to be shirtless when I am around? Thanks for all your help everybody!!!!
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First love or early relationshipks come with a big learning process. For most, it's a getting ones feet wet thing and naturally wading in further and learning more. I find it interesting that most young people today want to just walk to the end of a pier and jump right in where all the older well seasoned relationships are. Life doesn't work that way hon. Now he may show interest but it could go two ways, that he is interested in the experience of dating a cute girl just because she is willing and the other choice, the two of you are not a perfect match for long term and the interest will eventually wear off. It is seldom a couple meets as teens and stay together as husband/wife their whole life but it is possible.
So to answer directly on your questions:So what are some idea on making Riley mine? It is more about pheromones than not but mostly people pay attention to that when of marrying age and ready to settle down. Also, a dating partner or a partner of any level, is not something you can own, or 'make yours' because each person is given a free will to choose to do good, bad and choose what experiences you want to try and which not. So even if he is acting friendly now as a neighbor and someone you met, it may not mean that in the long run, that one or both of you will feel the same way. I do recommend dating as a learning time for yourself. Learn from his character as to what you do and don't like from a partner, even if there are other good attributes. The not so good ones are easy to overlook and ignore when you are not living together under the same roof, seeing each other on a daily basis. So some times a person may seem right based on how they look hot to you. But there is no answer other than you silently enjoying your feelings but spending time getting to be good friends without dating first, you know, the wading in slowly I mentioned. I have a reason for mentioning friendship first. It doesn't have to be a long time as you live next door and can see each other often but just talking if you run into each other outside is not enough for this. I mean spending time hanging out with at either your house or his and likely while parents are at home for their peace of mind. Once you have enjoyed much friendship together you say, "Since we are doing so great as friends, I was wondering how we might do as more than friends. What do you think? This is a subtle way to learn what you want to know, whether he feels the same about you or not. He doesn't feel put on the spot or any pressure. Guys tend to fear being truthful with girls because of a fear of the girls reaction if its not good news, her drama, crying, begging and so on. However here You are not saying I like or love you, just noting how good you both do as each others friends. The difference between friends and romantic relationships is only one thing, the pheromones I mentioned which cause the attraction and desire to be with the one you are friends with. Most married couples don't have both, they are either friends and have terrible sex, (I know you are waiting but this info affects your
future) or the sex is terrific but they are not friends and fight like cats and dogs. Number two, you can say encouraging things but you or me or
any person on the planet can not help a person change. If he is to feel better about himself if
that's truly the issue, it is only going to work if he comes to the realization himself. If any issue starts to interfere with regular life, then it is reason to see a professional counselor for help plus the last part of the sentence saying ". . . and that he should give dating a chance with me? " As I mentioned in what to say once you've spent time as friends only together, it is still his choice to say yes I want to try dating or if he feels friendship vibes only and doesn't feel the romantic ones towards you, he can let you know that as well. So you can wish that there is some magic potion, a fairy's wand or some black magic incantation you can use to make someone against their will, decide to date you, again life doesn't work that way.
Then you ask " Do you think he likes me more than just getting boner?" Hon, I am not a medium and I do not know your friend so there is no way to know the answer to that question. All I can say is if a guy really likes you, he will want as much time as possible to spend with a gal, in person first and also on cell talking and texting falls last cus you don't get the facial expessions or the hearing of inflections in the voice so tell when a person is serious or teasing.
Lastly: What are some good excuses for him to be shirtless when I am around. Oh Honey, he doesn't need your help to think up excuses. You already have stated how much you like that. If he wants you as his girlfriend, he will be more than eager to take his shirt off often. If when he gets over his embarrassment reaction, he decides he doesn't have those romantic feelings, just friendship, well he may not take his shirt off much unless he is feeling too hot, but not for you. Males are fairly simple to understand once you get older. Its just when starting out, females tend to think them more complicated than they are.
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