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Why do gay guys like to fake out straight guys online?
I am consistently getting faked out online by gay guys posing as females with female pics and profiles. I would guess more than 70 percent of the people who private message me are men posing as women to flirt with me.
I am a straight guy and this is noted in all my chat profiles. It sucks more females do not message, but what is up with the dudes faking out other dudes? It is annoying and frustrating.
I totally know lying about yourself online is not limited to gay guys or transgender people faking out straight guys. People of all kinds pose as younger or older than they are, richer and more successful, use fake body stats, and obviously fake pictures. When I was under 18 I pretended to be older to talk to adults. I get it.
For the most part it is just a mind game I have gotten used to like everyone else. At first I just gave people the benefit of the doubt until I know better. What I don’t understand though is the appeal of targeting someone who is the opposite orientation.
Do some gay guys just like to fake out straight guys? Is it because I am younger and gay dudes dig younger guys? Is it revenge for past historical homophobia in the world? Is it like an accomplishment? When I was a teenager and convinced an adult female to talk to me that was like winning a prize. Is it just being attracted to a guy even if he is straight and nothing will ever happen? Maybe just a prank for the fun of it to frustrate horny straight guys?
I respect when a gay dude just strikes up a conversation, keeps it real, and says hey I like you even though you are straight and asks if I want to chat. Sometimes I do if we have something in common to talk about. If they get aggressive or talk about gay stuff that freaks me out I just say so. I imagine that is what the women in the chat rooms put up with from guys all the time. I have enjoyed ongoing interaction with some of these guys because they respect me and I respect them.
It is annoying and a time-waster though when you are trying to meet or flirt with a girl. To be honest, I probably spend too much time in chat rooms anyway. I admit I am not confident in person but I find I can be charming in the chat room. It is exciting to earn a private message just by being a polite, friendly, and somewhat funny chatter. In some cases it has led to an ongoing friendship online or off (but nothing romantic).
When girls get to know me first in chat conversation, I have the confidence to share true photos and even though I am just an average clean-cut guy with a few nice features most ladies are very positive, encouraging, and less superficial. They probably appreciate normal G rated pics of a real person. No one has ever trashed me for not being a muscle-bound fitness model. Being called “cute” is just as good as being called a “hunk” if the other person means it, IMHO.
Zoom chats with true females who have gotten to know me and we just click have been truly awesome and a boost to my confidence. I have gotten great advice that way from amazing women. Of course, some contacts have been X rated. Those are rare but fun we that is what they are looking for.
It is sort of demoralizing though to spend time and effort getting to know someone and find out someone has been gaslighting you all along (maybe for weeks). I know I am easy to manipulate (like most guys). That does not make it right.
The situation that triggered me to post this was a zoom with a dude who was a very convincing cross dresser who totally fooled me and knew how to push my buttons. Even with video it took a long time for me to realize I had been tricked again (and only after some really intimate stuff where I did some shirtless truth and dare stuff on camera). No apologies. Just a “thanks for the show buddy.” Grrrr.
I know I am setting myself up spending time in a forum where it is so easy to deceive. I guess I just wonder why this is a thing for some gay or transgender dudes to target us? I don’t mean I am a pathetic victim. I don’t want it to come across that way. A lot of people have much worse problems. I will survive. It is not a life-changing trauma. It is just embarrassment, sexual frustration when being led on, and being annoyed. I guess I just want to understand it.
Please consider some advice other than “get a life” or “switch teams.” LOL
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Better late than never, so here I am. I used on line dating sites like 'Plenty of Fish' and "OK Cupid' so if you are using the newer phone apps, I wouldn't know what choices you have. I had the choice to choose I was straight or gay or what. If you have that choice and used it, I can't say why you're having this issue. If you have that choice and have not specified, its best you do.
If you have done all you can do and want to meet someone, you might put your preference for meeting someone close enough to drive to see like an hour away. After that, with traffic unpredictable, who knows how long that would take.
The trick to meeting someone on line, no matter what sex, what gender and all, is being close enough to meet in person after a week of chatting on line. Two good reasons for you, to determine if the person you're chatting with is a female or not, and to see if you feel romantic/sexual chemistry with them. We all can be attracted to a wide range of people when we haven't had anything in a while, or shall I say horny, but I am talking more of whether it feels right or yucky. i tell women if a kiss feels like a romantic kiss from a male relative, its the wrong chemistry. Depending on the man, some might find that too intriguing to work so for you, if kissing the female feels like you've just kissed a man. You'll find what works best for you as a guide. Be specific of age range you're looking for too, and if we are talking age in twenties, you might want to see a driver license to verify her age and not have another problem like an underage female.
I found the internet sites good for step one, working out the obvious undesirables. Step two, after a week of online chatting, meet in person at a neutral public place, she'll feel safer that way. I always went for a coffee shop, where one can find coffee, tea, some cold juice drinks and pastries. And we both pay our own way. There is so much you can learn from someones profile, enough to spark interest in investigating the person further. So if you continue to have problems, you might list it somewhere on your profile if there is a chance. If not, you may want to do this the old-fashioned way (can't believe I am saying that) and use a computer and a dating site on there. If I had your problem, I would list on a list of requirements, 'Live close enough so I can meet in person after a week of chatting if I am intrigued enough to do so.' That way a person knows they can't fool you for long and hopefully won't bother. In a video chat, as you well know, if a guy has feminine features and used face make-up right, he can look like a girl. I believe such a person might do the charade as a way to feel really good about themselves if they can fool a guy. If you find you have more questions about on line dating, let me know and be specific with your descriptions, what exactly you said, they said. What you are looking for, just sex, dating and whether dating monogamously or consecutively or all at once, or whether looking for a long term relationship, married or not. Your preferences should be on a profile where people can read before contacting you. Same as a description on a job position advertised. People don't usually contact an employer if they feel they do not qualify. That's one free tidbit. Theres more if you get stuck. So if you write, to get me directly, go to Search Advice Columnists and scroll til you find Dragonflymagic, open and write to me from my page and only I will get it so you can ask your extra questions.
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