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Why is he like this?
I have a guy that I have liked for quite some time and I think he's a bit of a jerk then I'm confused about what to think about him. In person he seems to like being around me or sometimes finds ways to be near me. We don't talk much. He might be autistic but I'm okay with that. A few years ago I overheard him saying he thought I was hot to one of my friends and it gave me some hope about him lol. I'm in my 30's and he is in his late 20's. I tried reaching out to him via message and he has ignored me. I also asked for private dance lessons from him and he felt fattered and suggested someone else. Overall I'm trying to make friends with him. Today I reached out to him trying to invite him to a group and he never messaged me about it. SO again he ignored me. Does he not like me? Is it because we don't talk much? I've been trying to open up to him in person. I remember trying to get near him then he immediately moved then tried to summon me towards him then he walked back to me.
Overall I can't help but think he's fake. Is it because I don't talk to him much is the reason why he won't talk to me via messenger? When I'm around certain friends he usually comes around to talk to my friends. I'm trying to open up to him but I feel like he's just going to reject me. I'm really upset and frustrated by it, but idk why he keeps looking at me or does what he does...?
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So. You asked why "he is like this". I think it doesn't matter why, the fact is, he isn't responsive, doesn't reach out to you, shows little or no interest in you at all.
Whether he's autistic , or not, it seems to me that its far more likely that he just isn't into you, as they say.
You are doing all this hard work to reach out and get something going with him, but even if he did respond, which he isn't doing, what's there for you?
He's uncommunicative, unresponsive, passive, if not avoidant.
Either he doesn't have as much interest in you as you do in him, or he doesn't have the capacity to develop a relationship with you. And either way,you lose.
You are in your thirties? Why, at an age when you should have some maturity and other options, are you putting all this work time and effort into developing a relationship with him, when , clearly, he has so little offer you, whatever the reason(s) may be.
Whether he's "fake" or not, as you put it, it doesn't matter; what does matter is that you appear to be wasting a lot of time, effort and energy into connecting more deeply with him, when it just isn't happening.
Isn't it time you put that energy into something or someone else where there might be some reciprocation?
Good luck, Dr. Stephanie
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First, what is it you want? Do you really wish for having a boyfriend, just a friend only. If not interested, then non of your questions matter and you should not be trying to become friends. You can be friendly with a person like a coworker but not be actual friends away from work for example. Some guys may have a social media site, maybe a family member pushed them into doing it. I found many males don't like typing and will always ask for a phone number which I never gave. Don't give a number until you find a guy you are enjoying friendship with so much that you are falling for each other. I can't say that his issue is typing. If he has autism as you might be correct on, I have a high functioning autistic husband whom I hardly ever see any symptoms of autism from but the thing about input from too many sources at once may be what keeps him from doing some stuff. My husband enjoys music more than dance and cant handle doing both at once so he never even tries anymore to dance. Perhaps, he feels better one on one rather than going out somewhere where there is a group of people who could be distracting to him.
All you know at this point is that he likes how you look but it takes way more to have a successful rewarding healthy relationship.Then again, maybe his male desires give him enough balls to show a female some attention, but won't go further due to being embarrassed about something, a medical condition, never married, low income, or a myriad of other things. You did say you don't talk much in person. I am from another generation, before cells and pc's. I still meet and talk to people in person to start off, if I like, I will then date until I see whether he is consistently exactly what I want, or he is just a very good faker who was trying to catch me only due to my looks, not who I am inside. That seems to be what most females want. He just may be more of an old fashioned type and need you to have chats with him in person. If in person talks seem to fail due to him not carrying his end of the talk, then you could ask. "I don't mean to pry but feel I need to ask you something in order to understand better. Did I read you wrong, are you interested in me or not? Is there anything that might be holding you back from even talking to me or is that how you are naturally with everyone.
This can very easily happen as it did to me. Met a guy at Starbucks and he had just ordered. Didn't know from bad pic what he looked like so I asked if he was 'Chris', just making up the name. He didn't say anything, just nodded yes. At the table, if I asked an open ended question, which is one that can't be answered with a yes or no, he would say nothing. Rest of the time, he just nodded, shook his head for no or shrugged his shoulders. I carried the whole conversation and at the end thanked him for meeting me but he was not what I was looking for. (Even though I made that clear in my profile) So if not using the internet, to meet only, then this stuff needs to be said before the first date, when a guy shows interest.
Don't think a person is fake or bad until you know enough to know its true, at which point, youk don't go out of your way to associate with them in any way shape or form, being civil and nice if seeing them in public. All that is needed is acknowledgement of their presence, a nod or Hi is okay, nothing more needed.
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