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shaving my underarms for girlfriend
I don’t know if there is a contest for weirdest question but I feel mine might qualify to be in the contest. My big question is about whether or not to keep my underarms shaved or to let the hair grow back to natural. I am a 14 year old guy in high school. My girlfriend is 16 years old and amazingly beautiful and way smarter than me and a funny sense of humor. I did a dare where I let my girlfriend and her friend shave my underarms in a video to prove I was in support of women who had to shave there when guys don’t have to do it. I was trying to be in support of women’s rights but I found out from her later that was just an excuse to prank me and I fell for it. I guess it was funny. I say it shows I will literally do anything to keep my girlfriend happy. My guy friends say it is “gay” which is not a cool thing to say no matter what but I think they literally mean only people who are homosexual do it. That is bogus because I know some athletes do it for things like swimming and wrestling and it has nothing to do with being gay or not gay. My sports are basketball and baseball so that is not a real excuse for me to do it but my point is different people do it. I personally like it. It feels good to be smooth there as long as I keep it shaved and my girlfriend says no hair makes my muscles stand out more. She said my pits smell better too even if I worked out or just finished practice which I think is just like the underarm hair getting wet and stinking and now it doesn’t. What she thinks counts for the most and she says I should not listen to my guy friends. She jokes she is going to dare me to do more shaving down below so I am hairless from the neck down. That makes me nervous but I think she is really just trying to make me squirm which she thinks is funny. My haircut is already super short which she picked out so not much more she can make me do that way. I am not a body builder but I do think I look a little more jacked without the armpit hair. I do like that she tells me take my shirt off all the time to check and she actually helps me keep it smooth. I know that is kind of weird but all the attention I get from her turns me on so I am like whatever you want to do sign me up. My dad told me I was insane to do it but he did not care as long as I did not get a tattoo or piercing. He was like it will grow back so no big deal. My mom does not know yet unless my dad told her but she did not act like she knows. My girlfriend said if I wanted to go back to normal it would be okay but she wants me to stay the same for now if I want to do it. She said if I got chest hair she would want me to keep it smooth too. I guess I will do what she wants because I want to be sexy for her the way she wants. Personally I think my guy friends need to get a girlfriend and then see how cool it can be if you make her happy. We are virgins because she wants to be and that is okay with me but all I am saying is there are a lot of very nice things without going all the way that can happen if your girlfriend knows you are into making her happy. For example, I will go shopping with her and carry her crap all Saturday because I know she will reward me later like making out which can be very awesome even if it frustrating to stop. Plus, it feels really good for her to say what a good boyfriend I am to other people and she also comes to all my games and some practices like my personal cheerleader which is awesome. Why would I give that up to have hairy armpits I did not even like. Sounds dumb to me. What do you think?
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Up front, I'd say that whatever you choose to do about shaving your underarms, or not, should never depend upon anyone else except yourself. If your girlfriend is so uptight about hair armpits, let her shave her own.
You seem to like and appreciate her attention, so if it depends upon you having bare armpits, well, that's your decision then.
But, what if she wanted you to braid your hair! What if she preferred that you dyed your hair green? Would you do it, just to please her?
You should be with someone who likes you for who you are, as you are. You are not her "Ken Doll" , after all.
You are both very young, so I think this will all blow over one way or another in a short time, in any case. Good wishes,Dr. Stephanie
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To start, to help you feel more comfortable and not so weird, here's my own confession, a bit weird but I will follow with explanations why it is so.
I will at times while cuddling, just burro my nose in his armpit sniffing deeply because it smells so good. He has hair but it doesn't grow thick. Picture that and tell me its not weird.
My second husband's body chemistry is a good match for me. This means how he smells under his pits or in his crotch do smell good to me. I remember once a guy in my past, after taking off his clothes and I got close enough to smell, the odor of his musk smelled so gross to me I almost gagged and gave the excuse of having a migraine and had to go.
My husband however smells good, even when not freshly showered. The pits are not exactly the same as the original scents but closest I can get is to say 'lemon pepper' scent. I will say that my tastes as for visual hair there are reasonable. If I am eying a good looking man who then stretches his arms up in a yawn, and I see what looks like a dead rat or mouse glued to his under arms, thats a bit too much hair and so gross looking that I turn away. So some hair trimmed down is fine or all shaven is fine. However, other than reasons you mentioned which I agree do happen, men usually don't shave underarms, i guess its cause he's already shaving his face so often.
Now the scientific info regarding the smell. As I stated, sometimes two people may not have the best chemistries to match each other. So no matter what you do, you won't like the scent of each other. But here's something I learned by accident. Aluminum as an ingredient in deodorants that have a wetness stopping action as well, are not healthy. It can cause the sweat to have no where to go and painful lumps can form in the pits. Happened to my ex. Since then, I only get a natural deodorant, no wetness stopping. I also learned that yes, the hair can take on the odor of sweat. Then one day was horrified to learn that sometimes bad body odor can be caused by not getting all dead skin off the body. Odor, I was informed, was caused by many little bugs to small to see except by microscope, that live on the surface of our skin. And they eat the dead skin that is still there after showering or bathing.
As you may know, anything that eats also pees and poops. And the odor we smell when its really bad, is from the pee and poop. If you are disgusted by that, then alcohol is worse. The original sugar in what is to become alcohol is the food for the yeast that goes into the drink. My husband who makes Mead, told me this. Basically, the yeast is a live creature that lives on the sugar. It pees and poops which turns the former non alcoholic sugary liquid into alcohol. So in fact we drink the pee and poop of yeast.
You are correct that to shave or not isn't about being straight or gay. It is a matter of personal preference. If a man wears a pink dress shirt, it may be he likes the color or looks good in it, and although some gay men will choose to wear some pink, it doesn;t mean he's gay. I tend to like the color pink in a dress shirt on men. So whatever you do, do it because you like it, not because you have been nagged or forced to do so, not because you are being bullied to do it, not because someone your age says so. People in your age range and still starting in life and have so few life experiences. They will say anything and just because they said it means it's true. They probably believe everything they read about their favorite celebs simply because it was in print. Publications will photo shop photos of celebs and put their own made up, un true caption and story to it when it is not true. I learned this while watching someone interview an actor who kept saying that printed stories she brought up were totally made up, not a bit of truth in them. I decided to only believe what I heard straight from the horses mouth so to speak. I had to hear it from a celeb themselves on what they were willing to share about their life.
I don'tknow her at all but I see one caution here. I didn't hear about her making you happy, just about you trying to make her happy. In case you forgot or never knew it, a relationship of any kind, friend only or more, is a two way street. If not, someone is being used in subtle ways, and it would never be confirmed. It reminds me of the opposite, of people who have a trophy partner. You will have heard the term, trophy wife. It can go the other way and the guy end up being the trophy and its regarded as a status symbol for the older person. But it is more a derogatory term. So there is the slightest chance she's doing this to you and not quite aware what she is doing. She wants you to show you off to others, so she can say she has a boyfriend at an age when teens are just starting dating. It makes her seem more cool. So just keep that in mind as you enjoy your girlfriend and if you decide this is what she is really doing to you, and you get tired of it, then break up with her in person, and you can explain 'because of some differences you can't live with' and that would be true without going into detail what the difference is.
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