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My girlfriend has no feelings for me anymore. what should i do
My girlfriend has no feelings for me anymore. what should i do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I'm afraid you have little choice, other than to move on with your life. It takes two to tango, and your dance partner is no longer dancing with you.
Keep busy. Go to counseling, if you find yourself overwhelmed and unable to move on. Recognize that life has more than your love relationship in it, and focus on other things. Volunteer, and you'll get more than you give. Do know, this is not the end of everything, and that even if you don't feel it right now, there will come a time when you no longer find this matters and that you have healed. I guarantee it ! Good wishes, Dr. Stephanie
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There is nothing you can do to make it work. You can not change another person at all, never ever, you can only change yourself. You are going to have to move on. I know, not what you want to hear but I am sharing only from how humans work and this is it.
So to explain, I will do a comparison first. Remember the excitement you had whenever you wanted something bad and then you get it as a gift, for Birthday or whatever other celebration. You were overexcited but as the days went by, it didn't feel as exciting anymore. I will use myself as an example. My parents watched me as a child looking in a store window at a life size doll, well at the time that was close to 4 feet. I wanted it so bad and one year for Birthday I got that doll. After trying to carry around a doll the same size as me everytime I played, the appeal for the doll changed and soon I left it in a corner never to spend time with it again. We are all unique as to what our interests are. I learned early that my interested leaned towards arts and crafts so future gifts were geared towards that.
Now you may wonder why I brought up this story. Well, it is actually related. That excitement a person feels over a new item and this also works the same for new sweethearts in your life. If you really understand what your interests and needs are and 'shop around', searching for things and people that are the best for you, then sometimes a person gets that right. Most times, people are lured by a pretty face, a great sense of humor, or just one or two things. You are so excited, because this thing happening is called New relationship energy, NRE and it can feel as real if not more real than the real thing. No one is bullet proof here, we all experience this. It is so much like the high of a drug that some people get caught in the experience of the high so that when it calms down, you can't feel that high and think its time to meet someone new so you can feel that high again. If two people meet who are perfect for each other in all ways, not just one or two, then yes, that blown out of proportion excitement of a NRE will slowly fade to be replaced by true long lasting and unconditional love of a mate. This doesn't have the same high as NRE so when people feel this, they feel they are with the wrong person. Statistics for relationships are not very good. The majority end up with or married to a person who is only a best friend or only a sex partner/lover, but not with both. However both are needed to make a relationship work. The result is couples who are best friends but are not sexually attracted to each other or those who have great sex life, but then fight like cats and dogs, treating each other hatefully. It is less common to find couples who love each other over the years, are each others best friend, lover and treat each other with unconditional love. Lastly, one of the two people decide after a while that what they felt when NRE was present, is not what they feel now and realize something is not quite right. Instead of still feeling love at a different level of expression, they feel nothings at all. They do not realize that what they mistook for being a great match for someone, was only the NRE, fooling them.
This is hard to accept as it hurts if you are the one who still feels something but in the long run, you too would have seen too many things occur that let you know that something isn't right with the relationship. Better to lose the not perfect partner now than later after a marriage and some kids.
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