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How Should I react when a think a girl has a crush on my BF?
I am 27 my BF 27.
I am in a long distance relationship for five years. We see each other 2/3 times a year. My boyfriend is very caring and nice. And off course I trust him a lot.
A few months back a saw a girl commenting on few of his post. and by her comment it seems like they chat sometimes. She always reacts with love react to his post. and sometimes comments praising his singing.
Now my BF has other female friends, they are his classmates and colleagues. And I am not insecure about them at all. But this girl is not his classmate or colleague.
Now I am not saying that he is having something with her. Like I said earlier I trust him completely. But I don't know why I have this weird feeling that the girl has a crush on my BF and she is trying to impress him. Should I do something about it? It is bothering me a lot. I didn't ask my bf about the girl yet. Should I ask him? How can I ask him? or should I just ignore it?
BTW we don't share our couple picture online or post anything about our relationship online. As me and my BF both are very private person. Our close friends and family members know about our relationship. But we don't showoff online.
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Let's see if I can respond to your comments and concerns:
*You have had a long distance boyfriend for a long time, whom you don't see very often. Is this enough for you? You are at an age when serious relationships often turn into marriages, are you wanting more than your occasional contacts and are you ready to seek it? It seems that one or both of you are fine with maintaining things as they are?
*You "trust him a lot", but what does this mean? Is he supposed to have an exclusive relationship with you? Or is he free to date others? Being in such a long distance relationship doesn't really provide a lot of satisfaction for either of you, I would guess?
*As for the girl on Facebook, open communication between you and your boyfriend is recommended, and you should feel free to ask him about whatever may concern you, including how he feels about the other girl, as well as his desire to be exclusive with you...or not.
*Given the long distance nature of your relationship, given that there is no mention of exclusivity or any kind of future plans, or committment, I think you are expecting a lot from him and that its pretty unrealistic to think that he wouldn't be open to dating others.
*Overall, do not delude yourself into believing or expecting more from him. If he were serious about being your "boyfriend", he would not be so apparently comfortable with keeping things as they are...long distance. Good wishes, Dr. Stephanie
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When you ask how to react, to my perspective, I believe you have already reacted, or you would not have written this. Have you ever met in person? If not, the relationship you speak of is only over the web, not in real life. In a real life, RL, relationship, trust can be grown from seeing what the partner acts like consistently--like when tired, hurt, upset, angry etc does the person change in how they treat you. A guy can say, you are the only one for me but you are a picture on the screen and words on screen or in text or calls, not face to face where we miss seeing the facial expressions, tone of voice and so on. Another thing crucial to a relationship at the beginning is romantic chemistry.This is only something you can tell exists if done in RL. I met guys who sounded great but when met in RL, we both realized there was no chemistry and said so to each other.
Notice I am not talking about the other girl because she is in the same boat as you, applying more value to the online LDR than it deserves. I have done this all, so I am not talking about something I know nothing about.I felt hopeful about guys I met online but I never wanted someone far away, but someone within a certain amt of miles away so I can see the person regularly, not over the internet. Technology should really only be used to learn of the existence of the other person and if they sound good, to schedule to meet in person asap. And if a couple have a RL relationship but one goes away for college or into the military, then yes...an LDR goes a long way into making life bearable until you can see each other again in RL. So if you have had a RL relationship with this person, you then know whether you can lay your imagination or concerns to rest. In an LDR where the two have never met, there is always the chance that the unexpected could happen, such as one of the two of you meeting someone in RL whom you begin to see and get serious about. It is much easier for a guy to start dating a girl in person, while keeping up the LDR with you. You say you trust him so that shold be end of story, no reaction needed, other than loving thoughts of your sweetie.
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