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sisters fued
why is your eldest sister feels like shes the alpha in the family?
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Probably because the elder feels envious of all the attention the new arrival receives as a baby. A new baby does actually need far more attention than the older child, but that isn't how the other child usually perceives it. It's more usually a feeling like 'now there's a new baby in the house I don't matter anymore.' Now it's a good parenting policy to make the elder child feel involved. Part of the adult 'care and support team' for the new baby. Help with feeding, changing and so on. But it also contributes to feelings of being the 'boss' of the younger one, and these feelings can continue long after the younger family member stops being an infant.
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You really didn't give examples but I think your issue is with perception that she's trying to be the alpha and top you or be better than you etc when in fact she isn't. I think you are taking what you squabble about too personally and seriously. People who are closely related and the same age will fight and get over it.
If you do feel bullied or made to feel small all the time address this with your parents and have them deal with how you are feeling because they can correct the behaviour and keep both of you in line.
My mother was the youngest and tiniest of 8 siblings and they used to wail on her and they would have fights where hair was even ripped out but you should see how loving and close they are as adults. What I'm trying to say is that people mature and will grow out of this but need adults to correct it. She likely isn't trying to be top dog but her behaviour is making you perceive her as such.
I wouldn't take too seriously what she's saying and doing because there likely isn't genuine malice behind it. Squabbling will happen between siblings but when it comes down to it as long as there is genuine love at times when it counts you'll realize where her true feelings really are. This all seems par for the course though with siblings. It will iron itself out as you grow and mature but yes, do have your parents know about how you feel because it's valid.
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You did state 'feels like', instead of 'she is'. So I can only imagine that this has more to do with your feelings than what is truly happening in real life. Without both your ages, I cannot know if the following applies, but I had sisters and my own kids were sisters so I know that during puberty and teen years, that no matter the age, young women will fight. If that is what is going on, you are being picked on and drawn into fights, then it could be simply your ages and fact that both of you are undergoing body changes that are due to a great amount of female hormones released so that these changes can happen. And the hormones being so high, bring on unstable emotions. If this is the case, talk to Mom, both of you and realize that there is no other nefarious plans against you, and that's half the battle, knowing both of you are fighting the same hormones, and both using a bit of extra self control during this time. Now if that didn't apply, read on.
If both of you are older teens, young adults, I can imagine this might be something more of a battle over opportunities. Is the sister getting more opportunities given while you believe you are being overlooked? this could be whats going on and involved your parents. If she is being helped or given attention in some way, it could be simply that she is older and it is more crucial to get her set up first. Then, it could become a habit for the parents where they do not realize that in situations that do not warrant focusing only on older daughter, that they are overlooking you and your needs for love and reassurance.
You may simply be jealous. That is brought about by emotion, mainly the fear of loss. So in your case, perhaps a loss of parents love and attention, even if they are doing the right thing and are not leaving you out. Lastly, you could be struggling with a part of your characteristics that are strongly competitive and therefore see's any interaction with sis as needing to be a competition in which you win. That last one might need a counselor to help get you set on the right track. Otherwise, bring up to the parents what is going on in your mind. Please remember to state things starting with non accusatory way of "when such and such happens, I feel ...." instead of "she makes me feel, or you make me feel" which unfairly puts an accusation of messing up your feelings, onto people who can only contribute to actions that you then react to, causing your feelings. So to state someone made you feel a certain way is the fastest way to take an otherwise helpful conversation and turn it into a fight if the other parties are now feeling attacked by your choice of words. I am not against you hon, just trying to show some possible causes.
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