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Is it a good or bad idea to let a 15 year old visit her mom in jail?


Question Posted Wednesday July 14 2021, 5:17 pm

The charge is a check fraud charge and it is a seven month sentence. My daughter she seems to be handling it fine. I told her right away about it and she reacted pretty calmly. I told her mom did the wrong thing and is rightfully serving her punishment. They have a good relationship. The main problem I have is she will see her mom in a jail jumpsuit and see guards and other inmates that could be intimidating. Is that ok for a 15 year old to see? Actually my daughter does not seem scared but instead seems excited and enthusiastic to visit. This is strange to me. Do you find this normal? My daughter seems to find the idea of her mom having to wearing a uniform, sharing a room funny. I wonder why she would think it is funny. My wife says bring her if she would like to and my daughter says she would like to but I don't know if it is a good idea. She hasn't gone yet so we can still discuss it together.

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DrStephanie answered Saturday August 28 2021, 10:39 am:
You are hesitating and with good reason. There are many possibilities when it comes to how this might impact on your daughter. Certainly, her mother is not an ideal role model, to say the least.

If I were you, I think I'd let them correspond, talk on the phone , even, but let it go at that.

Prison, jail, is not a healthy or positive environment and I would not expose her to it.

Good wishes, Dr. Stephanie

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solidadvice4teens answered Thursday July 15 2021, 11:20 pm:
You really have to find a way to show your daughter that there is nothing funny about being in prison and living in one and the dangerous situations people can find themselves in locked up. I think until she can comprehend that she shouldn't visit her mom.

There relationship should remain intact 7 months from now when your wife is released. If you're doubting that she should see her mother in this setting or if it's appropriate that's the voice in your head that you should listen to because it's seldom wrong and pointing you in the right direction.

Your daughter may be enthusiastic and wanting to go but ultimately it comes down to you thinking if she is mature enough to do so. If something feels strange or off about her and this situation or she isn't taking it as seriously as she needs to it's time to apply the emergency brake and put a stop to the idea of visiting. She has to see and be made aware that this isn't fun and games or a laughing matter.

You need to discuss with your daughter why she thinks this is funny because that will help you decide and see that she's not mature enough to handle the situation. If it were me I would make it so she doesn't go and waits until her mom is out in 7 months. If it were years than I wouldn't stop her from going but it's 7 months and after that amount of time the relationship should be intact if it seems to be now but she needs to get it through her head that it's not something to take lightly.

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