|
Am I not allowed to get upset about this?
I've wanted to get my ears pierced since forever, but my mother hasn't let me until recently. Actually, she promised me that she would take me (because you need a parent or guardian to get them pierced) about 2 years ago, but since then, she's just kept pushing it back and not going through with her promise even though I kept reminding her and asking her. She always has some excuse. So finally, she made an appointment to get them pierced recently. Only, the day that I was supposed to go, she cancelled AGAIN, and moved it without even telling me. Her reasoning is that the new Delta variant of COVID is a lot worse, and I have only just gotten my first shot. The problem is, she was the one who wouldn't let me get the vaccine when it was first was approved for 12-15 year olds (I'm 16 now, but I was 15 then). I wanted to get vaccinated immediately so it wouldn't affect my life afterwards, but she refused to let me because she didn't trust it even though it was literally tested on so many people. She made all these decisions without even asking me or listening to what I have to say, and now she's telling me she already explained herself, and I have no right to be upset about it. She didn't, by the way, explain herself at all, and just kept saying that I couldn't get my ears pierced and refused to talk to me when I asked her to explain. She's always been super controlling about everything, but how can she possibly expect to be able to control my emotions? Am I not allowed to be upset that she didn't keep her promise, and that her decision affected something I was really looking forward to?
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
There's more going on here than the question about getting pierced ears. You and your mom have had a long standing problem in communication and decision making , that precedes the latest issue about piercing. And that's more important.
As for the covid current scare with delta variants, your mom may be right about postponing for the time being, not because of her general reluctance .
Look: first, she's not likely to change all that much, since this has always been like this.
Second, you have two years to go. The second you turn eighteen, it will be entirely your choice, and you can go ahead and get multiple ear piercings, if that be your preference !
Meanwhile, are you making plans for other changes when you turn eighteen? Like:going off to college? Living away from home? Or........? That will solve a lot of this, and inthe meantime, hang in there, knowing that it won't be forever!
Good wishes, Dr. Stephanie
]
Its not Covid that is the problem. You mentioned 2 yrs ago promising to take you but never did. Covid was not around 2 years ago or lets say in 2019, 2018 and earlier. There are parents who being the guardians and adults have all the decision making for their kids. That does not mean their decisions will make sense or even be right. I know I made one big bad decision but by time my kids were teens, I had changed. So tats, piercings and hair cuts or coloring, are what parents generally make their own decisions about. There is no law that will force them to allow you your ear piercings. So you may have to wait until you are legally an adult at 18 to pay for it yourself and get it done because you won't need her signature then. I know its a long time but some things like that are worth waiting for. Now I had an adult daughter, early twenties, and out of work, finished college but couldn't find a job in her field. SHe desperately needed work. She had told me she was going to get her eyebrows pierced. Now shes an adult and I couldn't say yes or no but I did speak up and mentioned that she might want to wait until she found a job because the employer might not want someone with those piercings. Well she got the piercings anyways, not listening and then got an interview where they liked her so much they said, we'd like to hire you but your piercings don't fit our company image and since you'll be working with our customers, you'd have to take them out and let them heal up or we won't hire you. Yeah, she told me about that. So she wasted her money on her piercings. I don't know what can be done regarding your safety, not having all vaccines. We've had our two. There is nothing yet available for the much worse delta variant but as soon as it is, we're planning to get it. Normally, I do not get flu shots as I had a couple of bad years with reactions to the flu and the worst being the year I had the flu a couple times every month from Sept. when I got it til the end of Feb. when it finally stopped. So I can also understand a persons fear of vaccines. But this was something special, or a death waiting to happen if I didn't get the shots. We are in the older catagory, who got the first shots but not so early that I didn't wait first to see if the first takers were getting sick from the vaccine and dying at some crazy rate like 7 out of 10 dying. Luckily that isn't the case. So it should be safe. YOu could always talk to a school counselor if you are back in school, asking what options you have if any. I really don't know. But keep checking around, cus you really need the 2nd shot to be totally protected. I know of people who caught Covid after getting only one shot. One of those, an elderly man, died. THe others didn't. Yes, you can be allowed to have your feelings about this and be upset, just don't let Mom see you being upset because that will make it only worse how she treats you.
]
She has made the right decision and it really has nothing to do with getting your ears pierced. The choice and it's the right one she has made is to do with COVID-19 and the dangerous variants. She knows that entering into a mall or place where you can get your ears pierced if they are even open in full swing isn't a good idea.
As far as vaccines go that's also another good reason not to venture out and do this and affecting the promise she made. Information is constantly changing especially when it comes to children and teens and if they can even get vaccinated with anything other than Pfizer.
Having a first dose is great because it provides some protection but isn't this fool proof thing where you can drop your guard like many have and you have no idea who else is vaccinated at all and some people have been idiots about not following COVID protocol.
Until she has all the information she can to make the correct decision on your second dose and whether and when you should get it she has done all the right things in protecting you.
In the past she may have felt you were too young to have your ears pierced. Things are different now and I'm sure she knows what she promised but it's on hold until you are fully vaccinated and COVID is under control in your country, state and municipality.
While you have a right to be disappointed she's not being controlling or unreasonable. I'm sure if you speak to her again she will tell you exactly what we are that it will happen but it's not safe now.
We don't know much about the variants and if full vaccination is enough. What scares me is fall and winter because that's what the disease has thrived off of because people are forced to be indoors where the air doesn't circulate well. There's a lot of unknowns and your mom is right for letting this wait awhile longer. She didn't say no to you but rather not now. That's the difference.
]
More Questions: |