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Hugs
So my boyfriend keeps getting picked up from school by his parents
He text me the other day saying that it was all his mum's fault
I asked why
He said that he was gonna do something
Without thinking I asked what
He said he was gonna kiss me
I don't know what to say!
Did he really mean it?
Was he saying that he was gonna do it but he actually wont?
I'M JUST REALLY FLUMMOXED (confused)😁
Pls can you help!!!
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Probably will but when you're both alone and not with other people and parents around. I would tell him you are fine with it but when he feels comfortable to do so. Believe me he's being honest but nervous and cautious. There's nothing to be confused with he's just unsure of himself and isn't sure about the when, the where and if it's what you want to happen either. Talk to him. That will clear it all up.
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i know when HS usually gets out early and back then I had a job that started early and I worked 6hr days so I was home shortly after my kids got home. But I was the only one who was home at that time of day. Other parents don't have that luxury unless there's a stay at home parent. However you mentioned both. This would either mean both parents are unemployed right now in which case they couldn't afford the gas for the drive to and from school every day or one or both parents are missing work to pick him up every day, or both are done with work day by that time or they are both self employed and can work the hours they want. If he's is getting picked up early every day practically for doing something wrong, then its a wonder he's still in school.
Next, if I understand correctly, he is blaming his mom for something. From what you wrote, I really can't tell what he is blaming her for. There are too many possibilities. His Mom has phobia's regarding safety of her son and has been adamant about her or Dad picking him and not letting him walk home. So he could be referring to a problem his Mom has. Or he could be saying he confessed he likes you to his parents. No big deal. But there are parents with rules about the age when you can start dating which may not coincide with current age and they feel they are doing their part in keeping you both apart. He explained 'why' IT was his 'mums fault ' but I wasn't told what the big "IT" was to begin with so I really don't know what he is blaming his Mom for. Also, he leads you to believe loosely that he is being picked up from school because he told his Mom he planned to kiss you? Never in my life have I nor anyone I know of ever voluntarily offered up that piece of information to our parents that we wanted to kiss a certain someone. The furthest a teen will go is admitting they like someone and name the someone if brave enough and that I have done. Really, can you picture yourself telling your Mom every time you are crushing on a guy or have a boyfriend, that you want to kiss or be kissed by him? Geez, heck no. Now lets say he was planning something real bad, the kind that lands you in Juvie. If he was badass enough to taunt his parents, that he was gonna do something. People don't usually think of an action they plan to take and then tell their parents what they plan. If the plan was bad, then telling his Mom he planned to kiss you would have been his 'smokescreen' to cover up whatever. He may simply believe that all women all very gullible, if his Mom starts picking him up so he can't sneak in a kiss after school. Then again, if he wasn't planning to kiss you yet, he may have thought it was the most plausible thing to say to cover his tracks and something he wouldn't mind doing if the opportunity arose. You seem to think that an upcoming kiss is at the center of this whole event. Sorry but I am a parent with children now adults and we are like bloodhounds when it comes to a scent or in our cases, words or deeds that bring us concern. He may be lieing through his teeth and already had runs in with the law that his parents are aware of. Perhaps these bad deeds happened after school. Maybe he was simply supposed to take the bus home but never did and hung out with questionable trouble maker friends so the parents want that to stop and decided that one of them should pick him up from school. Since he picks on Mom, perhaps she is the one with the backbone in the family and the one who laid down the rules for both her and Dad. As you can see, there are too many possibilities that could be behind the scenes here. When you have a question like this, no one can answer helpfully because we can't know what is in his mind, his own history, his family life, his morals, and so on. Heck we don't know yours. Everyone on here, columnists and question askers alike are anonymous. It means I don't know you, your name,age,where you live, and I don't know what you are really like.
So, more information is needed. This means, you don't know him as well as you think you do if you don't already know why he feels his mom has done something wrong as far as he is concerned. Perhaps he did tell you and you didn't think it important to share. Basically, when a person immediately blames someone rather than coming out and explaining their own role in a situation, they either believe they are being oppressed by the parents, or a person of any age doing that consistently, blaming others, is subconsciously trying to hide the fact that something is not right with them. This I would worry about most for you because it was one of the traits of my ex husband who was verbally abusive and controlling.
Of course it may have just been the reaction of a scared teen trying to avoid getting in trouble. But if I were you, I'd start paying really close attention to whether he does this often. Yes, many teens may be like this but those who have a more mature outlook, will go beyond acting just like the others. That was me and a handful of my friends in HS. Lastly, we are living in an age where females can approach a guy first, ask them out, kiss them first and guys have no problem with that especially if they secretly liked you. Confidence like this in a female is very attractive to males. So if you don't want to be kissed, be sure to state so with him ahead of time. If you want to know what it feels like to kiss him, then kiss him.
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The boy you call "my boyfriend" has problems. Otherwise, he wouldn't be sent home from school all the time. Or, are you talking about his parents just picking him up after school? It isn't clear.
If a boy tells you he's going to kiss you, he probably is going to try and do it. The real question is what do YOU want him to do...or not?!
Don't be surprised if he does try to kiss you, and if he wants to do more than this, as well. How far are you really ready to go, yourself? Better start practicing how to say "NO!" and meaning it.
Decide if you want to hang around with someone who is having behavior problems in school, if that's what you meant?
Good luck, ~Dr. Stephanie
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