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Can a doctor force you into a nursing home when you can't care for yourself
Can my grandmother eventually be forced into a nursing home?
Grandma is 87 years old & can NOT take care of herself. My aunt and my cousins are taking advantage of her. They steal her money. My grandma constantly falls, can barely get up and can’t fix her own food. They say her balance is off. The doctors say she is not safe at home bc she’s falling.
My Aunt and cousins do not want her in a nursing home. They don’t care about her and they steal her money. One of them actually hit her before. My grandmother goes along with whatever they say and doesn’t believe she’s being abused.
My mom and other family members work so no one can watch her 24/7. My mom & others have offered my grandma to move in with them, but grandma refuses. She also refuses to get a home health aide.
My Aunt and cousins don’t want her to get help because that means they won’t have access to her money. My aunt lives with her and also does drugs.
I’m also worried about her going into a nursing because of COVID. People also get worse in nursing homes. They told us that my grandma needs 4 hours of physical therapy, but told us if she were to go into a nursing home, she’d get 30 minutes or none of exercise. My grandma doesn’t want to live with us or anybody else.
My mom & others don’t want to fight my aunt and her children because it will be too much financially and emotionally affecting everyone. My grandma goes along with whatever her abusers want. She barely eats. Her house is a mess. What else is there to do? Can she be forced into a nursing home?
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Base in your story it's better to bring her on the nursing home rather than to be abuse.
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Your grandmother is a victim of elder abuse, which is a crime. You can contact the senior service agency in your community and/or report it to the police. If your grandmother is in need of care and refuses it, she can be made a ward of the court or someone else can become her legal guardian, make decisions on her behalf, but it has to go through a legal process and usually involves the signatures of two physicians.
Although you are rightly concerned about covid in nursing homes, your grandmother sounds as if she is already in a dire situation , both because of her need for care and the exploitation/abuse she is suffering . Many care facilities are now taking much better precautions, including requiring vaccinations for covid.
Do NOT let this go ! Her very life may depend upon someone taking action to help her. Good luck and good wishes, Dr. Stephanie
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I used to be a caregiver for disabled, & elderly. I did anything that didn't require a nurses degree. Thus it consisted of keeping updates on all their medications, calling for refills, taking them shopping, cleaning the house, making meals, being companionship, and calling 911 if need be. I learned there were state paid and self paid private care. More often, in private care is where there were live in caregivers. They get their room and board and get paid to e on call 24/7. Once I filled in for a caregiver by staying at night shift for a quadriplegic female who would call for me at night if too hot or cold to fix her covers or if thirsty. So I had to be a light enough sleeper to hear. So in case of that woman, no live in but 3 shifts covered by the home help care agency she was signed up with.
So help is out there. Since there is Covid still around, I also agree to avoid a nursing home. Your Mom has no choices except 24/7 home care which can be one person or shifts done by several, or she can go to a nursing home. So I'd agree its important for you to have control legally and beset to start with her Dr. asking for which organizations you could be recommended to call. One must is power of attorney, so you can make decisions for her. Have this done without mentioning to the others since they are the problem. Once you have sole legal control, start with the changes that need to be done. There are adult care homes but then she'd still be around a handful of people all the time and the care is split between all. As with all choices, there will be financial concerns of how it will be covered. Many loved ones go through with getting licensed to become a full time or part time caregiver and get paid for it by the home help agency they signed up with. So if the pay is good enough for you or another family member you trust and would compensate them for not having the job outside of the house anymore, then thats also a partial financial help.
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A conversation needs to take place between you and her doctor and kept confidential. You need to point out that she refuses to live with anyone else and is only comfortable in her own home. Explain the fear of COVID and a nursing home not being suitable.
Make sure that he/she is aware that she is being taken advantage of and that these people are constantly stealing her money because she cannot comprehend reality.
Try and get a power of attorney over her so you control her future and keep these leeches out and have total control over her well being and finances that way they can't do anything.
Can they force her into a nursing home? I'm not sure what the law states but a doctor needs to help you out here with what to do. It's evident she cannot be alone.
Perhaps he can tell you what can be done to introduce aids into her home and address what her fears are of them. As far as the aunt goes who does drugs that can be addressed once you have legal control and can boot her out. Her doctor is your best ally.
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