|
Should I kiss on our first date?
I'm an 18 year old guy and I'm from India. I have been talking to a girl since a month and a half. We like each other but we want to meet to make sure if we want to be totally serious and date. So should go for a kiss on our first date itself or not? If it's a yes, then how should I go for it? If it's a no, then how do I deal with it? I don't want to force her though. I need your advice on this one.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
First, I congratulate and admire you for thinking to ask about this. As long as you aren't pushing yourself on her, I think its fine to just follow your interest in kissing her, provided she's willing. So , one good way to find out, is simply to ask her. I believe that physical attraction is almost essential in dating relationships, and as long as your courteous and respectful, and as long as she is also interested, please follow your instincts and enjoy yourselves. Good wishes, and do remember to consider the safety measures recommended during the covid pandemic. This, alone, just might make you want to postpone getting that close!
]
Knowing her for a month and a half on line or in letters, is not knowing a person enough. One can only know how they think, their type or humor and whatever they share of their past and things like favorite color, food, etc.
That is not enough for you to initiate a kiss. But I agree it is important to meet in person so both of you can assess whether you feel the needed chemistry to be more than just friends. You might feel a chemistry with her but her not feel one with you so your kissing her would in that case not be welcome. Allowing her to kiss you first is best. Not all females though are brave enough to make a move first. I did though. I did dating by on line dating sites to learn of a guy, after my divorce, then met them as soon as possible. I always chose to meet only those who seemed gentlemen, like yourself. And all of them never made a move towards me first. I had to make the first move. Now I was older and I don't know how well this girl of yours is able to pick up on things. If she has great intuition, she should be able to tell in your presence just by being around you that you are very interested in her. I knew which guys I met for the first time were impressed with me so I could kiss and wouldn't be rejected and if the guy wasn't all that into me after all.
The best thing if you like her after meeting is to plan to spend more time face to face, in person, doing things together, as friends would. If you can't build a friendship, it won't work as a long term relationship either. Two fold foundation of a healthy romantic relationship is still being each others best friend and also each others sexual equal. The latter is best described as having the same interests sexually, and same libido's, either both with low or both with high libidos. If one is different from the other, both will be frustrated and that could lead to future breakups or cheating with some one else to fulfill all ones needs.
So after a couple days spent hanging as great friends, you can ask the following to find out how she feels. "Since we are doing so well as friends, I am wondering how it would work if we were more than friends. What do you think?" This way you have let her know you are ready to move ahead but since you ask her opinion, she will let you know if she feels chemistry or not by saying yes, lets try that or if she doesnt feel chemistry, 'no, I don't feel that way about you.
]
I would wait. You need to be sure of where the relationship is going. Right now you haven't even met her. I would be extremely weary of someone I don't know well planting one on me regardless of them being female or male. It's the same reaction that you would get. Build up to this.
The only time you kiss someone on a first date is if they initiate this themselves otherwise don't. This person has to be 100% comfortable with you and dating you first consistently. It's about trust and anyone who grabs someone and kisses them without establishing that can get in trouble.
]
In my opinion you shouldn't take that risk because she might think you're moving too fast as you aren't a couple yet and you could easily sabotage everything at an early stage especially if this is an uncommon thing to do on a first date in India.
]
More Questions: |