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Should he blame her?
Recently, my dad got a phone call from a random woman in China asking him to ask my mom to "stay away from her husband." My mom explained the situation to us. Apparently, the woman's husband had previously pursued her in college (he wrote a love letter??? My mom didn't respond to it though, but I think she should have just rejected it outright), and about 5 years ago, at a college reunion, she was added to a group chat with all her friends including the guy. They all chatted, you know how reunions go, and he started spouting that he missed their time together in college and all that flowery nonsense. He also alluded to still having feelings for her?!? (I know, what a douche) And then his wife found out, used his phone, texted my mom, trying to befriend her. My mom was understandably totally weirded out. She told the woman she was sorry, but she was very busy and didn't have time to chat, and promptly unfriended the dude (This was all on WeChat, not over text, actually). This was 5 years ago. Last November, as you all know, COVID-19 hit China. So my mom texted her friends asking if they wanted her to send masks to them, and the same dude she unfriended texted her, saying thanks. She told him you're welcome, but forgot to unfriend him again (in case you didn't know how WeChat works, the person you unfriend can still text you, but you need to re-add them as a friend, text them, and then unfriend them again to tell them anything). His wife, probably snooping on his phone again, flipped out, and started texting my mom, saying, "how could you do this to me," and "I was so friendly to you, I can't believe this" and all that jazz. My mom promptly unfriended the weirdo again. She didn't tell my dad though, she probably just thought the woman was psycho and ignored her and forgot all about it. This afternoon, my dad got the call from the woman (Literally don't know how she even got his number). He was understandably confused and upset, and confronted my mom. She explained the situation, and he did blame the dude, but he also said that she should have just ignored him when he thanked her for the masks. I agree with my dad that she probably should have just ignored him, but he was getting super loud and angry about it, and I don't think this situation was really her fault? But I'm speaking as a fellow woman and from an outside POV. Should my dad blame my mom? I think that psycho couple clearly has some problems and my mom just got dragged into this mess, but again, I'm biased. What do you think?
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Solidadviceforteens told you the right things legally. I am sure you feel a little better knowing what should be done legally. But I am also sure that if I were you, my mind would still be concerned with how all this came about, or most importantly, concern over how it is affecting your parents. A situation like this is good at revealing any weak points in a relationship. Based on what you have said, it sounds to me like the Chinese woman is insecure and lacking confidence by her calling your mom with accusations. She isn't blaming her own husband who initiated this all but deep inside, she doesnt feel the marriage is stable. Perhaps her husband has a track record of fixating on other women because he is not totally happy in his marriage and not willing to try a marriage counselor or too chicken to end the marriage. Your Mom wasn't trying to contact the other man. That shows where her heart and mind were at, She was a caring person volunteering to help friends. I was taught to be well mannered and when someone says thank you, you don't stay silent but say you're welcome. So even if she knew who is was, there was nothing wrong with her saying you're welcome. Now if she personally kept a longer conversation going withe the guy, he might take it as a signal that she is interested in him in some way. If she only said you're welcome, he may have thought she might be over whatever caused her to unfriend him. But we don't know if he was no longer pursuing her, just being polite, or what. Or I should say, I don't know.
My husband and I are not afraid to tell each other every little thing concerning a conversation with someone of the opposite sex, or even a flirt or what. But we both know we can truly trust each other to not act jealous, which is a fear of loss of someone in your life, or something. We are still so besotted with each other that we love each other so completely that there is no room for doubt. If it had happened to me, my husband would have heard exactly what happened at the reunion. Your Dads angry reaction could be because he doesnt totally trust your Mom if the woman said you were going after her husband. If he was angry because she didn't tell him, maybe marriage counseling could help them because they may both have needs the other doesn't see or think important to address. My husband says that a man either treats his woman in ways that she has confidence in her, or he isn't. Maybe not doing sonething wrong but maybe something missing. A marriage counselor could help better if they really still care. It isn't for you to fix, but for your parents to work out. Your Dad is most like the Chinese womnan, lacing confidence in himself or the marriage IF he has even the slightest doubt about your Mom being devoted only to him. If he was simply shocked and taken by surprise, perhaps his anger was a one time silly thing. But if he keeps bring it up or anything he thinks related, then theres a problem. Your Mom sounds like the only innocent here, but she has to want a better marriage than the good one she has. No matter how good, our marriage can improve too. The willingness to really apply one self and improve isn't too often done by people though. So this is what I think unless extra info would change my views. So no matter what is going on, you can fix what may need some tweeking in their marriage. Pray for them but don't interfere, just support each parent, don't take sides and thats it.
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Added Info on October 18/2020:
I should also mention that if someone threatens you or harasses you to no end that it's actually legal provided one party (you in ths case) knows about a call being taped for that reason. You can use a small tape recorder and a device a spy shop or a Radio Shack has for that purpose. This is how reporters do their phone interviews for example. You can then give that recording to the cops as proof of the threats.
Originals
The best thing to do is log every single message that has come through over that app and write down date and time of call and what was said on paper. Ignore the messages and see if they'll go away if they don't get responded to. Nobody answer the phone to anyone whose number you don't know. I would get rid of that app all together and tell your parents to stay off social media and not talk to anyone from China.
If there ever is a serious threat made to safety or they harass the heck out of your parents and yourself go to the police about it and get their advice on what to do and or to see if they feel there is anything criminal about the harassment. If someone threatens their safety or yours than all bets are off on reporting it to them.
This person likely is benign but has a mental-health issue and a bug in her head about your mother or father and maybe others she knows for that matter and is going after people online with irrationality and delusions. You have to be aware of that and not give any contact or reaction back. Hopefully they will move on.
If it's a 24/7 non-stop issue with this person harassing them with calls, emails, texts or whatever than police usually look at that with you but I'm not sure how they'll nab someone in another country for it. Hopefully, if you proceed in this manner the person will cease doing this.
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