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confused about my feelings to crush (?)
Here is the backstory.
I moved to another city because of university and met a girl (who is in the same group as me). We became friends (?) really fast, which is weird because I'm shy and it usually takes me months to find a connection with others. And even faster I realize what I may have feelings for her (I was missing her when she was not around, I always tried to be as close to her as I could, and ALWAYS was distracted by her presence). It all was affecting my education, so I decided to tell her the truth (after 2 weeks of meeting her btw). And at the next day my things changed ( I stopped thinking of her 24/7, become less anxious, etc. )
I don't understand why. The only thing that was different in this 2 days is that I make a decision to tell her. And that's all, it's not about smth she did or anything else.
I still feel different around her, than with other. But I'm not sure why or what is going on. Like 4 days ago I was sure what if I wouldn't tell her about my feelings- I would die. But now I don't care about that
Did my feelings for her suddenly decided to start disappearing? Did my mind decided to block this feelings, so I wouldn't have to go through stress by confessing to her? Or something else?
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( I never before had a crush(?) on a person with who I spend time almost every day)
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P.s. sorry for my pour English, I'm from Russia
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I don't know if it's important, but we both 18year old bi girls
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
A crush is usually someone you see but the relationship is all up in your head ... you imagining what it would be like to be with that person. A dating relationship is usually doing things together, in person, not over chat or text. The real reason for dating should be to spend enough time with a person you already know you feel chemistry with and to find out if there are things you like about them or dislike about them. Someday, you might want to marry. I know plenty of bi women thru a friend. They almost all are married and have kids but with an understanding husband, also have a bi lover they see at times.
So where do you fall right now? It sounds like mostly the crush with some hanging out together in a group of people so you're a bit of both. However hanging out can only tell you some things about a person. You didn't say exactly what you told her and how receptive she is as a friend. Then the only thing that makes the difference between a friend and a lover is having chemistry, both being sexually drawn to each other but the friendship is still part of relationship. If you feel like your feelings have disappeared, just know that when you are truly in love with a person, those will not disappear. What you can do if she knows you are bi and she is too, is to spend time together just as friends first, but more than time at a dinner or movies. I am talking of quality time together where you really get to know what she is like when happy, sad, irritated, had a bad day. A relationship will have all those feelings and some people can be vile and dump all their negative energy on a partner or mistreat a partner. I had that with a previous husband (male) but I know that both sexes are capable of not being nice when hidden from public view. Your English is fine dear, I can't write anything in Russian.
So if you think she is interesting as friend, find out what you have in common and spend time doing those things together. At that point you'll have a better idea if she's meant to just be a friend or more than a friend.
The way you ask after having been friends is: "We are doing so great as friends, that it makes me wonder how we'd do as more than friends. What do you think?"
This way you are not confessing feelings and scaring a person off. You must ask what she thinks because if during the time spent as friends she developed feelings, she will be open to this idea. If not, she will let you know she still doesn't feel that way (romantically)about you.
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