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Traumatised
Hi my ex absolutely loved bombed me from day 1 he sent me up to 50 texts a day declaring his interest and love and how I'm his whole word wasnt a day he didn't tell me how much he loved me so a few weeks ago he got drunk and lied and brought a woman to the place he stays said noting happend i forgave since then ive discovered he has a drink problem so i tried support him he ended up been kicked out of the house he lived in because of the drinking so had to return to Scotland toll he could find accommodation here....sunday i was with him and seen a womans name keep ringing phone i asked him he said was just a mate i took phone off him to to discover 2 different women he was arranging to meet up with we had words etc. i told him we would need to talk on r next meet up well Monday he text me drunk as usual telling me he adoured me then silence i was getting worried so asked his friend check on him and found out he was in the womans house he was mailing behind my back as soon as he knew i was aware of where he was he blocked me and updated his Facebook status to in a relationship with this woman never once text r rang me to tell me im now left in a shocking way i planed a future with him some are saying he is a narrsitist that has done this to previous partners
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Ivesince been told he stabbed an ex on the arm and went to prison,he tried beat another ex up and emotionally ruined another ex beat up his son and has liesd and cheated on every partner
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Lying and having affairs does not make a person a narcissist in case you're wondering. What he is , is a player. He has no intention of being truthful or/and commiting to one woman at a time, meaning serial monogamy. I think women are okay as long as while with a guy, that he is devoted only to her.
As to you feeling traumatized, I hope you can look at this rather as a learning experience so you can do better next time. Any person finding 50 different times in a day to text one friend is excessive. When always texting, one can't get anything else done. So just hearing of a guy texting that often to get your attention, was just that, a crazy way to get your attention. He guessed right, it got your attention and you believed him so you got into a relationship, dating and discovered he was a drunk and a loser.I don't know how much time this experience covered, but it takes time to eet to know a person, a whole year would be reasonable unless seeing each other, interacting every day, then in up to 6 months I'd say that one can fairly well know the other. So for him to be able to know you so well in the beginning that he could say you are his whole world is an outright lie used to manipulate you. Don't worry, There are many guys out there who fool a woman really well at first, even me. Just ask if you ever want those stories. So don't feel bad about feeling fooled at first. That is how things work. The only problem is once a woman sees something bad in the guy consistently, she decides to stay in a bad relationship so guys end up trained that it is okay to treat a female like crap because she will still stay with him. Except for you so Kudos to you. The problem is planning a future with someone you did not know well and falling for the words. Words are cheap. It doesn't show for real how a guy cares about you, if its love which women want or lust which is often the case. Once I knew I had learned what signs a man showed that were warning signs to me he might be a bad guy, I found it easy to try meeting someone again without fear of getting fooled. The mistake I made at age 20 marrying the ex was going by what he said. I did not know to look for his actions of how he treated me and once married, his words got extremely obvious and abusive. But then I made excuses for him in my mind and staying with him almost thirty years too long. SO the big thing is have you learned the warning signs with this last guy? You may have to be able to recognize the bad apples before you find the right guy for you. I needed help too to find a new partner after a divorce. I had help of a list God told me to make. Not preaching at you, just explaining how this list thing started. I have it as a document called Finding Mr. Right. This answers how to go about the process whether bumping onto someone in public or meeting them on a dating site. Let me know if you want that because I can send it. But you have to go to my column to request it. So look for Dragonflymagic in columnists and ask me for it. I know you dont feel like trusting another guy right now but if you start making your lists and describing yourself as well, you will make process
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