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Should I call my friend out regarding an older issue?
In short, I had a really stressful junior year of college. I was so stressed out between school, work studies, being a resident assistant for the university, a break up that past summer, the death of my lifelong cat, and everything else related to personal family ties. I got next to no sleep during this time, and when I did sleep, I was met with horrific sleep paralysis which resulted in drastic and unfortunate mental consequences. The consequences were so intense that I had what psychiatrists called a “brief psychotic break”. Before the holiday break, I had reached out to some friends and told them what was going on and what I was experiencing. It was during the time when I was still pretty unwell, so I probably shared too much, and assumed it would be information kept with some respect or at least secrecy out of concern for my obvious unwellness. Over the holiday break, I was sent to a psych ward for four days. Thanks to my work with counselors and the use of other resources, I have recovered and am well, and I am very thankful.
For some reason though, something came to my mind yesterday, despite it happening last year, closer to my break. A guy I barely knew messaged me on Snapchat when I still had the app and asked me “are you really psychic?“ to which I responded, “who’s telling you this?” And he said, “oh -the person in question- told me you think you’re psychic.” I want to say something to -the person in question-, but am curious if I should.
The issue is old, and I was in a different space during the time of the Snapchat message, hence why this wasn’t addressed earlier. However, I am really frustrated about this. I feel that the darkest point of my life was exposed and exaggerated for the sake of gossip, which is something the person in question is known for loving. I want to at the least have a conversation with them saying that now I know what they did was wrong and that I don’t appreciate them sharing something so private about my personal timeline. I just don’t even know how I’d bring it up. I could say it came up in a photo memory, but no doubt they’d ask for a screenshot. I literally just thought of it all yesterday and I really do not know why. A few people in my life are saying that I should simply use this event to serve me in a guiding sense to “be more careful” around this individual. I usually am particularly careful, as I am not super into dramatics. I do, however, want to advocate for myself, not really expose anyone. If I want to be petty, I can use it as a yu-gi-oh card style talking point in the event of a need for a desperate measure, but that of course sounds childish to me.
I feel silly writing an advice request for an old issue, but it truly has been irritating me for the past 24 hours. If anything, validation and guidance are appreciated. Advice on whether or not I confront, leave it in my back pocket, or move on also greatly welcomed. Thank you for your time and for reading a brief overview of my largest obstacle. Stay well, all!
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I agree as the other person said that "Psychiatric issues are yours alone to disclose" however unless I read this all wrong, you realized something was wrong, but not neccessarily that it would turn into a psychotic break. You needed to see some one who is a specialist and eventually you did, only because you told friends, one or a couple who were concerned for you and told others. Its the same to me as a person who wants to commit suicide, tells friends but not an older trusted adult or parent. It is now up to someone your age to get this info to an adult. I had a daughter with depression through her teen years, and I never saw it though I spoke with all my kids daily alone time with them where they know they could share anything, even sex stuff and I would remain calm and understanding and not fly off the handle. Those who may have shared info cocially on you, is not right but they are young yet, unable to see posslbie consequences to any of their actions Before choosing their action, just like you because your age group I am guessing is below 25 yealrs old. Scientlsts have determined that decision making is crippled until then by an immature frontal lobe of the brain so they can't help but do stupid and yes, hurtful things often. Look part the stupidness to why they talked about you, even if it was supposed to be a secret. They were worried. We usually tell as many people as we can about something hoping that one person will know what to do, but it doesn't work if all those who know or are talking are without a working frontal lobe. What should have happened is you telling not friends but trusted adults. One of my daughters went to her Aunt for advice when she knew her issue was something I was against in my beliefs. I was short sighted then, but not now. SO I am glad mt daughter went to her aunt. So if not a parent, then a trusted teacher, even a school counselor. I know I am trying to give you answers that I wouldn't have followed yet at your age because I had a great fear of what other people were thinking of me or would think of me. Its this fear that holds you back in life, or in getting help when you really need it. The truth is, no one really cares, aside from teens and young adults who don't know any better due to the frontal lobe issue. But I speak of older adults. They won't ctiticize you for having an issie with diffecult things that led to seeing a psych Dr. I figure more people have something happen in life, who don't have mental illness but do have a mental issue due to a situation in life. These situational episodes are quite common but I figure many don't realize they had it or have it.k I did. I was married to a man who was mentally and emotionally abusive. I stayed san but the stress gave me all sorts of stress related medical problems. So I went once for counseling to see if talking to a professional would help. My ex husband was someone I couldn't depend on to help in household stuff or with kids and the abuse too, so I tried to do everything all myself and my Dr. told me it was like I was burning the candle at both ends. Either he is willing to go into counseling, get help and change or I would have to make some drastic changes. And so it went, I had to divorce him to avoid getting so sick I might die.
You do not have to go back and talk to anyone regarding what you went through. If no one brings it up, don't start stirring it up by bringing up something that might remind them of it.
As for a guy saking if you are psychic...he probably read something someone else said, and either they wrote the wrong word, meaning to say you were psychotic instead of pschic. Or maybe they used the right word but he read it wrong thinking it was the other word, psychic. So to bring it up, with him, or find who told him that, would open up a can of worms so to speak. You don't want that to happen, so do not confront, and just move on. But in the future, if ever you find yourself in another sticky situation, I really hope you would share only with older adults who know you, and care about you because they can help steer you the right way and they wont tease or condemn you or think any worse of you for it. Also, since you feel silly, writing for advice, this tells me you don't understand how writing in here was one of the better things you did, because you were reaching out for advice. Do so next time with adults you love who love you too and yes, parents top the list. But if the parents themselves never grew up, then extended family, teachers, and counselors, even priests, are the very much needed step to take, sharing your situation and asking them. Dont stop at one persons opinions and many will share from experience and if they never had such an experience they won't know how to help but say something that sound logical but won't apply well to you. Talk to a tell a few people so you can see if the consensus is the same or not and if too much differing advice, its time to talk to a specialist, and to me, a specialist is someone who studied, trained and got a degree inthe area you need help in. so even a lawyer qualifies as a specialist, a specialist of laws and rights.
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Psychiatric issues are yours alone to disclose or keep close to the vest. I will tell you based on experience that young people aren't like adults when it comes to understanding and more often than not will talk about it to others and or treat you like shit afterward.
The lesson is you have to be very careful what you tell people. It's really none of their business and if they want to cause grief or drama about it than move on. If they want to know where you have been come up with some excuse. It's better in my view to keep this close to the vest and on a need to know basis.
The majority of the time you'll need to asay nothing because with proper treatment you are as normal as anyone else is. That's how you need to approach daily life.
You'll find out from this who your real friends are when you have had a mental health issue. It's because they don't understand or are fearful. It's the ultimate betrayal when you tell someone something so intimate that they tell someone else they had no business to.
In this case it's obviously upset you to the point you even have disturbing dreams about it. You should confront the person privately and tell them that they had no permission to talk and that you resent what they did. Give them benefit of doubt before dumping them but tell them this doesn't happen again and never disclose anything you wouldn't want repeated to people.
As far as the person causing drama they'll always be a headache and out to gossip about anyone. I would cut them lose because this not what a friend does over and over. They have a bad history of the behavior and aren't about to break it.
Dreams are thought pictures. When you go to bed at night you don't escape your own thinking be it ambitions, fears or anything else. In a dream we see moving pictures. It's all it is and nothing to be scared of. It's just an indicator that something is coming to the surface constantly and needs dealing with. Give this person the boot and the other a chance.
In fact, you mention a group of people knowing the same details you don't want to be discussed. Confront all of them and then see how the dust settles. You have a right to privacy and to being pissed over their carelessness with a sensitive issue that should be secret.
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