I am sixteen years old. my dad has never ever told me he loves me. He is always avoiding me, or when he doesn't it is only because he wants something.
how do I get him to love me? is it my fault that he doesn't?
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Families? MicheleL answered Sunday June 7 2020, 3:10 pm: Hi Dear,
You are absolutely not at fault. Your father has some problems that he cannot or will not deal with. It could be that he is treating you the way he was treated when he grew up, by his own father. He could even be jealous of you and your youth, because maybe he wasted his. Did achieve all that he had hoped. You just work on yourself. You get a good education, so that you can go far in life, and not worry about what people who are emotional midgets, feel about you. Sure it's sad. Sure we all wish our parents could be like the ones we see on TV or in movies, but we all do not get that kind of parent. There are LOTS of lousy parents out there. You can have a happy and a great life. By loving yourself. Find something you are passionate about and pursue it. Some day your dad will need you more than you need him, and maybe he'll apologize. He probably thinks your too young to understand why he avoids you. I can tell you, it is usually guilt. And if he tried to explain it to you, it wouldn't even make sense, because you would think: "That's really silly". But people are sometimes crippled by their guilt and emotions. My mom was a terrible person. She finally became a nice person at the age of 90! when she was put on medication for dementia. She was actually nice to me then. But don't wait as long as i did (38) to get over that my parents did not show love and support to me when I was young. It was not me. I certainly deserved it. I didn't ask to be born! Right. But I wish I had learned sooner, to stop worrying about what they thought. So don't wait until you are 38, just know that it was nothing that you did. Your lovable. I promise. [ MicheleL's advice column | Ask MicheleL A Question ]
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