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Caught slipping


Question Posted Thursday May 7 2020, 11:25 pm

So I wanted a phone last year for my birthday but I didn’t get it. And every opportunity after that I couldn’t so I went up a few models( iPhone 6 to iPhone 8 Plus) when I shared my desire for the phone with my sister she shut down the idea of getting that phone, saying ``our mom wouldn’t get it because it was expensive, and it wouldn’t be right to get a phone that was more better than what she has(iPhone 6)". So her birthday was last month and she wanted to upgrade to a iPhone 7 but my mom couldn’t do it at the moment, and plus we discovered a couple of things that proved her unworthy of it anyway( trust me it was bad😤). But right after she did get enough money to buy me the iPhone 8 Plus, and so I ordered it, it arrived and I planned on hiding it from my sister but I left it out and she now knows and has confronted my mom, and is clearly angry. I am not asking how my mom should handle it, but I would like to know how should I handle it? Is my mom wrong? And what from this point on?

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sunshine1232 answered Monday May 25 2020, 7:39 pm:
No your mom isn’t wrong she did nothing wrong sometime’s in life we can’t get the thing’s we want when we want them right away thing’s happen sometime’s we have to wait i know your sister is allowed to say her opinion but she shouldn’t be speaking for your mother making her look bad putting word’s in your mother’s mouth since i don’t think your sister paid for the phone it seem’s like your sister is jealous that you were able to get a phone and she wasn’t you shouldn’t have to hide your phone from your sister she brought her proving herself unworthy on herself she is her own person your sister shouldn’t be confronting your mother when she brought what has happened to her on herself i would tell your sister that she shouldn’t of confronted your mother she has no reason to be angry she had a chance to get a phone but her proving herself unworthy made that chance disappear how does your sister expect you all to feel react if what your sister did was really that bad? She can’t expect you all to have no reaction to her proving herself unworthy and it being that bad

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Dragonflymagic answered Friday May 8 2020, 8:02 pm:
Is your Mom wrong for what...ordering this phone for you? there is nothing wrong with a parent wanting to buy something nice for their kids, even if its an upgrade and better than what they have. As we already know, PC's don't last forever and have to be rebought every 4-6 years for most. A few might last longr but generally speaking, the same is with phones. Eventually we will need to replace them too. I remember my clam phone, my first, after getting it fixed over and over, finally began to do weird things like shutting itself on and off at will, muting the ringer, all stuff which the verizon store told me meant the phone was too old and would eventually die and there was no fix for that. I must have had it 8 years or so. I will also mention that hubby and I like apple phones best but those cost a good penny to purchase new. Some people will puy such a phone, hold onto it for a year and then get a new one. If you are worried about cost, we found an apple, iphone repair guy in our area who also sells used phones he has repaired and we both have one now. His got too old and mine was lost or stolen. We don't have the money to get brand new but at only a year old, the phones are new enough to work with apps and take updates.
As to inappropriate use of a phone by mom or anyone else other than yourself, you need to learn that you can not change or force another person to do the right thing Worry about how you use yours and stop worrying about being the morality police for your sis or mom. I am sure your sister will continue to harass you. FOr that, pretend to ingore her. I say pretend because I know you can't unhear what she says. It would seem siss biggest concern is the cost and the fact Moms phone is an older model. Okay, so where is the rule or law written that says that all family members must have the exact same age and model of phone? There isn't any such rule or law. It isn't even a matter of what falls under good manners. So your sis is freaking out over something that should never have bothered her. But I suspect she may be young still and tend to be immature as she hasn't gotten old enough to grow up and see what matters most in the world. You aren't her parent but brother and as such it doesn't fall to you to help her grow up. This is such a trivial matter and yet somehow sis has got you convinced that there is something to this all, that the phones are not balanced or you have to have the perfect thing to say to your sis or mom. People who can't mind their own business are those who never pay heed to their own life and improving it but look always at others and harp on them as to what they can and cant do. Its like living a reality show, your time taken up watching others living their life without living yours. If this is what sis is doing, I'll bet she also loves reality shows. If she doesn't, perhaps she prefers creating her own drama where none exists. And you've gotten swept up into her drama reality show about your family. Some people are happy with older phones, as long as they work. I use mine for talking, text and photos, and playing some games but no internet. I prefer to use computer for that as I have bad eyes. Your Mom may be happy with her old phone. Its the younger people who are more dependant on their phone for doing the utmost it is capable of doing, short of doing your chores for you. So when sis starts railing at you, act as if you didn't hear her at all and answer, I'm fine and how are you. Something different than the subject she wants to suck you into and then fight about. I get that you don't want this to happen. So do that, don't answer her and say stuff totally about other stuff as if she has said "So what are you planning on doing later today instead of HOw could you use Mom like that to get a phone for yourself when she cant afford a new one herself?

So instead of defending yourself or explaining your logic which is not going to register with anyone immature, too young or maybe people with mental health issues, (I know as I have tried in life. It doesn't work) I want you to realize you don't owe her an answer just because she asked you a question or made a statement. Its not being rude, its been intelligent enough to know that you can't win with her, there is no explanation she will accept. Currently she sounds like some one who is generally an unhappy person. SO my guess is something else is bugging her that has created the person she is now. Is there a Dad in the picture, did her leave or die? Did she flunk a grade at school, or if older, lose a job? There are events in life where we might go into grieving the loss of something or someone, never fully go through grieving and let bitterness and unhappiness take over our lives and then we dump on those closest to us when the pressure builds too much. I'll bet she's also good at finding other things wrong in the world and harping about those too. A negative person will be drawn to bad things or make up bad stuff to be upset about. SO say nothing is what you need to do.

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