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concerned friend
I have this really sweet guy friend I met online and we’ve been hanging out every now and then for the past I’ll say 5 months. We do text and talk often and we are physical as well.
I’ve been around him with his friends randomly. No major introductions.
So I was with him like February 7th and then I haven’t heard from him since. It’s going on about 4 to 5 days now of us not speaking. I don’t know anyone he knows and I don’t want to seem like a psychopath or stalker and message his mom but I am concerned about him. And I’ve text him and I have called him once. And I just wanted to know should I just let him contact me when everything is okay or should I go ahead and message his mom because I do care about this guy.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
First of all... HEY, and happy new year!!! (yeah it's February). I say that because, it's highly important and significantly transparent to acknowledge the random and on-goingly (to some) the "little" things in life more often than just specific intimacies. It's overlooked by more people than you realize... so alot.
So, you have to keep in mind, that YOU'RE making a social exception to be here, there (and chatting btw), even if it's online and per member... YOU are allowing people to be around and near you, and THAT is a BIG accomplishment!
Horay to YOU!!! :)
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Secondly, I'm curious about how you "decide" to spend those whole days NOT communicating the way(S) you'd "like" to.. :/ "re-have"?????
...Because, it's one thing to "sum up" a "seemingly" sweet paragraph, BUT if you care more than you let on, it's important that the "any time apart"(ergo "alone") IS important too.
Aren't YOU worth that much?
... so DO THAT.... "irregardless",
if "some"one.. IS-there-in-your-corner or NOT-in-your-corner.
Peace is not only for treaties, you know.
~ Don't subtract giving yourself you-legitimate-soundness....
Beside you'll be there if y'all are.
Just "let time sensibly arrive openly".
That's most important.
However (Please NOTE...),
if you REALLY think there is something wrong, IN GENERAL or something then yeah, (without being too much) yes being "annoying" IS BETTER care than none.
You'll be and do fine....
:)
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Since you mentioned being physical, that to me means cuddling, kissing, foreplay, sex and that can't be done together except in person. On line, yes I know some people will masturbate while on line but that to me is not real sex with another human being cus that can be done alone. So what i share is different depending on whether you've met in person or not. In person, you would have a better idea if there is any chemistry between you two. On lin3 only , you cqn't tell. I met my 2nd husband on line but we only spent two days on line, switched to phone calls for the week til we could meet in person the next weekend. I had talked on line w ith guys before him, for up to two weeks and thought I'd found the right one. But as the other advice giver stated, they can hide if they are dating others, and can hide many other things like things in their personality, whether they lie, etc. When I met my husband, I knew he was interested in getting to know me better by how he was available to talk every night til midnight after work and him calling to set up a meet at his place because he had a teen daughter who I had to be okay with who lived with him. We are married now just over 10 years. So if you want only someone to date for social reasons, someone to go to a movie with, a partner for dancing, etc, then since he hasn't responded, you should move on to find someone who shows an interest and you dont have to be too picky about how you match. If looking for eventually marrying and possibly having kids with, its another story. You want someone who doesnt just love a few aspects about you and thus the temporary interest, until he learns more about you and decides that you are not exactly what he;s looking for. Or you can do better than a guy who just loves something about you, the skin deep type of love, you can look for the man who falls in love with you. That kind of love doesnt come with lack of contact and getting together often because this kind of love is the real thing, goes beyond the other looks to loving who you are inside, all your spots and wrinkles in personality, is unconditional meaning you don't have to change who you are or how you do things to be perfect for him. So my guess is that since he hasn't called back... he is not interested even in being a social boyfriend and certainly not the potential future husband type or into long term relationships. Yes, all guys are very into sex and that's an important part but; if he got sex and hasn't called back, then he may be the type who only wants sex but not the whole relationship.
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Unless you have reason to believe he's in danger or in a situation where he might wind up that way than the last thing I would do is contact his mom. That could kill anything you have going on with him be it friend or more. It's Feb. 12th right now. February 7th wasn't that long ago. It could be that he's really tied up with stuff you don't know about and will get back to you. You've called and texted once and need to back off and let him approach you. He will if he's interested and if not let it be.
You also have to be aware if you met online that not everyone is who they say they are and or may be seeing multiple people. Be sure about who he is before going further. I wouldn't be concerned about him because you have nothing to go on to suggest he's not alright or in danger. Give it a week and don't call anyone he knows including his mom and see if he approaches you.
If he's interested in you believe me he knows you are there and will definetly be around or trying to include you in future but if time passes by and he's not contacted you than it's a sign that for whatever reason he's moved on and instead of being mature has left you to find out.
I'm hoping it's a situation of being swamped with something you aren't aware of or a situation where he hasn't been able to talk as often as you do usually. Key word: wait. See what happens in next little while.
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