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No job security. Need life advice
I need advice. Im a recently divorced mom. And i make 46000 a year with no college degree
I work retail as a store manager and there is just no job security anymore. I have had to get a second job just to be able to afford rent and bills. I want to go to school. I need to think of my future. And i need to know are their options out there for me to be able to make enough money and be able to go to school full time? My current job there is no way that i can work around a full time schedule. I have three kids and im almost 40 so moving back in with my parenta is not an option. Nor is finding a cheaper place to live.
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I can think of only one thing, there are plenty of working people who can't afford a place to rent as the cost of living is so high. Some have to settle for renting a bedroom in someones home, or a mother in law, or even a partially finished basement, or recroom. So if there is anything you can spare as a room to rent and share common spaces, then ,that could be extra income. I know of a couple with kids, who both work full ime and still can't afford a place of their own so they rent with another family with kids, a house with a complete living quarters upstairs and downstairs. I have family, my granddaughters daddy who is remarried and can only afford living in the downstairs of his dads house while his married younger brother shares the upstairs with his dad. Things are bad. What you earn is actually more than my ex and I ever earned in a years time but I know costs have gone up. Still, I know plenty of working people who live out of their vehicles because there isn't enough money to rent. Of course these are young couples without kids yet doing so to save up money or retired people or close to retirement who can't earn enough to rent anywhere and thats about where I fall. So I truly understand the situation and know there is no easy answer because if there were, the homeless population would not be growing so fast and our government are too overwhelmed and have no idea what the real needs of such people are. It is advisable to find any way you can, even if you do not like it at all, to be able to keep the place you have. I understand that you rent and don't own but with the kids, I am assuming large apt if not a house. There are plenty of people who got the okay from the manager to add another person to the address/lease if they passed screening by the manager. We had a person who was all set up to take us as roommates in her apt after we lost the place we just got okayed to move into and the next day hubby broke his leg in 3 places. All we'd saved up was what we lived on with me working a borger joint while we moved into our van to live. Now we have decide its the way to go as we are very near retirement and none of senior housing is affordable to us. Yes, I have had to let some dreams of how I'd like to live go, such as being able to put up a Christmas tree, hang portraits on a wall, have a bookcase, a dining table, etc. downsizing and livig real minimal. We know the economy is not going to improve as things as so far the point of return, like turning a big ship, takes time and lots of effort and there is no money for that as far as people go.
So the hard thing for you to hear, as I have no better answers is to plan what you will choose to cut out to make the dollars stretch. I know it sounds cruel and harsh but I am speaking from experience dealing with money to live on, you have to get creative. There are also not enough agencys to help single parents or even the homeless for that matter. I don't consider myself homeless as my home is now a bigger Sprinter van but it still is much smaller than an average apt. The problem is not having a street address and P O boxes not recognized as an address on some legal forms. According to what we earn, we fall below the numbers given for poverty level. But all our needs are taken care of as we've learned to do without plenty of things and I am not talking about the frills, such as vacations, new outfits just because you like it or they are on sale , no going out to eat, no going to movies, just using netflix on our computers and no internet other than what we can get at a Starbucks or some such place, or library rental of a hot spot for 3 weeks and so on. I know none of this is something you can do to downsize but it the majority of good hard working people are more and more getting squeezed into having to cut costs anywhere they can to survive and keep an apt or house. If a person earning 4 times or more than what you earn can lose a house they own if losing a job and not finding anything that will pay enough to continue to pay the bills and then end up homeless and working burger joints, then to believe you can somehow to do better than they by continueing exactly the same as you have without the unfortunate changes, then it has to be done. No, its not fair! I wish all people did not have to scrape and scrimp just to survive but that is the world we now live in.
Ideas of a few things to go you going unless you have already done so or are doing so are the following, stop using credit cards except for emergency as in car breaking down or water heater breaking down, no going out or to movies, cancel cable and only use TV for rental movies, (I have a daughter who does this as there's no money for cable, just internet) I know internet is needed for kids in school to do homework on. if kids have their own cell phones, you may have to cut this out too, even if a family plan but you can't still afford that, take recycling to heart if you aren't and find ways to reduce garbage, stop buying clothes brand new other than shoes and underwear. I've done this all my life and clothed my children this way before they became adults. If the kids get an allowance, that stops. Any little bit of money they want for something to splurge, they will need to earn on their own. Even if not 16 yet, there are jobs a kid can come up with. I read an article of two sisters whose parents knew all the neighbors and those with houses and dogs were approached and asked if they would pay for the girls to come each day after school to quickly scoop up dog poop in the yard. I had a once and that is the job I hated myself. They were earning gtreat money by doing this for a few neighbors willing to pay, doing a dirty job no one else wants to do. Then there are the elderly or those with dogs not living on ground level in apartments for whom there is little time or no energy to take the dog out for a daily walk. When I was a care giver, this is one of the things elderly clients wanted me to do for them. So becoming a dog walker can earn a kid some money too as long as the neighborhood is still safe enough for them to do so. Any older kids with great knowledge of general use of PCs or phones could earn money just for being on call to help adult neighbors who have done something, accidently presssed a button and now their computer is doing something funny or it is unusable due to a bad command given by owner. Same for cell phones. I know some basics, putting in new numbers, how to erase old calls in and out, but if for some reason the phone is acting up, I have no idea and have to have my adult kids look at it. Its too expensive to take to a business who offers help fixing phones or pcs when there is actually nothing wrong with it, just not enough knowledge how to navigate. Maybe even teaching lessons to older people on how to use. I am about 20 year older than you and although I began to use computers as soon as they were brought into offices and cell phones as soon as they were available, the issue is more that the technology changes so fast that its harder for us to remember how to use the newer models. I was fine with the old clam phones that only did calls, texting and photos, nothing else. These are just a few ideas. If your kids complain about money or not being able to get something extra, even a year book in HS is a nice big chunk these days, and kids shouldnt have to pay for it them selves but when the parents are struggling to make ends meet and can't pay it, its better they earn money to get it themselves than lose out on getting one which I think would be tragic. Have them watch a couple of you tube videos of homeless children in families, living in RVs, cars, tents and still going to school to realize that it is possible for anyone to end up there so its best to do what each one can to try to prevent that happening.
When I divorced my husband after kids became adults, I found it hard to pay for only my own upkeep and when I lost a roommate and couldn't get another, I was facing homelessness already then but a friend let my stay with them a couple months to save up to get into a new apt. It only takes a major illness of being unable to earn money such as a hospitalization of the bread earner for a family to end up losing their home. All you can do is look for ways to keep your head above water and doing whatever it takes to do so. I cried in the past for having to give away things as there was no room for them in a van. I downsized to what I thought I absolutely must have and still didn't have the room. An example was photo albums. So I went through, picked out my very favorites from each album, had them scanned and put onto my computer, so other then a small pocket wall size keeper of small school photos of my kids growing up, everything else in on the computer and that cut down on some space issues. None of this might help you but you will know what you can do to cut down costs. If you find you can take in a renter even if it would be crowded, it should be either someone you already know of someone that is a friend of someone you know who can give a good character reference. YOu can also do background checks on anyone interested, their work history, how long at jobs, so you don't end up with someone who leaves jobs every six months or so and can't pay their rent, choose females only if you feel the kids are safer with a female around, or heck even a gay person may be a safer bet than most if you have no objection to such. Well, at least I hope this helps you get started in thinking about what you can do. As for schooling, check if there are programs in your area that specialize helping single parents with school costs or if you can do schooling on line and still get a degree. I know of plenty of actual Universities by hearing that peoples kids were doing this, going to school in a virtual reality University on line through various setups, one including an avatar set up with a University on line, an actual representation of a classroom with seats and a teacher running the class and you had to check in on time to be considered present. A retired school teacher learned of friends of hers who were asked to be this virtual reality teacher and actually get paid the same as if in a real classroom and the kids getting real degrees as if attending a real life classroom. YOu may be able to do that from home if the kids are old enough to not need you all the time and can occupy themselves or if too young, find a relative who doesn't mind helping you out by watching the kids in evening and helping them with their homework maybe while you go to school online. Sorry, for such a sad outlook but I am just looking at reality here. Hope it helps some
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