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15 and Pregnant!
okay, so i’m 15 (16 in 8 months) & pregnant by my 16 year old boyfriend. his dad has always gave us a problem because of the fact that i’m mixed (he’s racist). my boyfriend absolutely hates going over there & he’s scared that his dad will take him away from his mother and place him in the care with him & not let him see me or the baby, is this legal? can he even do that? his mother is a great mother. he has called DHR once before on her because of the fact that he spent the night with me (they said she was a perfect mother and the case was dropped).
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So your biggest concern is what happens to your boyfriend and father of the child, not what happens to you at this point? Okay, well if his parents only split up but never filed for divorce, then the Dad can legally do anything he wants and take her to court and ask to have custody of the son. However if they are not divorced, I am not sure it would work at all since there is no legal decree as to whom has custody of the boy. If they are legally divorced, then the courts will have made the decree as to who gets custody of the child and the other parent gets visitation rights, meaning not raising the child, not having any say in how the child is raised and can only see the child on the days court okayed like weekends, or every other weekend, etc.
You both should have a talk with his mom, no guessing and worrying for nothing, just find out the facts. Does she have legal custody of her son? Is she racist? If not, how willing is she to help him to able to see you at times.
Being in HS, you'll find you are ridiculed, teased, made fun of and possibly shunned when other teens have no idea how to treat you as they see you grow bigger and bigger. This is an even bigger concern than what you worry happening to the boyfriend. So I would suggest talking to your Mom if you haven't yet and also give her time to get over the shock and even feel angry and disappointed. In a week at most if she can't get her head around it and you won't have support from her, then you'd need to get on the net and look for help for pregnant teens. Where you live and continueing your HS courses is important and can't be done the same way, going to old school. There is the home schooling option, any residential care program in your area, city, or state if Mom kicks you out. Its doesn't happen all the time but a church I used to go to sponsored a girl who had to go into residential care and we provided whatever immediate needs, maternity clothes, baby clothes, other baby items. The last is finishing HS on line. However, if you'd rather enjoy the fun of graduation, you might go back to school after having the baby is Mom or another relative will look after the baby. You will also need health care right away. Due to the younger age, there can be complications that happen with the mother or baby but regular visits with an obstetrician, a Dr who specializes in handling birth mothers and babies and delivery, is important to have to learn what is best care for you, vitamins, what to avoid, whats okay, etc. Mom could tell you some of that but a Dr. should be keeping a close eye on you. Since you are not yet 18 and adult, you are still under Moms health insurance so she needs to know about the pregnancy if she doesn't.
So here again is the list of what to do, tell boyfriend to talk to his mother and find out if Mom has total custody of him decided by the courts. You need to have a good talk with Mom and decide what has to happen now and later after the birth. For now, how to continue schooling without attending your HS, getting in to see a Dr and getting good health care for pregnancy, and for later, who will watch the child when you are back in school if you and Mom agree on that, or if you decide to raise your child, using online courses to complete your education. If you don't have the ability to focus on that or too easily distracted, you may have to get a GED. All the paraphernalia you'll need for baby, crib, and making room for it, car seat, clothes likely may need to be second hand unless Mom is rich. It's workable is car seat is still approved for todays safety standards. There is a Natl. agency you can contact to find certified people in your area who will check train you and Mom how to correctly install the seat and you may be able to find out online if the model you have (if not new) is up to safety standards and heres the link:
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
There is so much to learn as to what to do with a teen pregnancy. I assume you want to keep it but if considering adoption, you might want to have you and boyfriend decide who you want to raise your child and make sure its an open adoption so the child gets to see you and know you during the time it is growing up, based on what also works for the adoptive family, and have visiting days, birthdays and holidays you can visit. Its my personal opinion that this is the best option for teens who still need schooling and college and a job before they are ready to raise a child but also gives you the chance to not miss out on the growing up of your child.
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