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Asking friend for money back
Two years ago, I lent a friend $4500. She told me she would pay me back after a month, but kept putting off payment. Eventually, after 5 months of this, she told me she would pay me back when another friend paid her back a debt he owed her. I told her that was fine. At that point, the friend paid her $1500 and she passed it to me leaving a balance of $3000.
Since then, the other friend's financial situation has not been good and he hasn't paid her any more money back. Consequently, my friend hasn't paid me anything back.
Today, I asked her to start paying me back again. I mentioned that it had been two years and, although the amended plan was to wait for her friend, it has been two years with no sign of progress. I said I don't need the money back right now, I told her we could start a plan to have it paid within one year.
She has not responded well, is being very curt, and says I'm making her feel like shit. Was I a jerk?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
If a person needs to borrow money just to pay bills they got behind on or something like that, and they are not currently switching to a new job where they earn a lot more than they made before. then you can count on them never being able to pay you back, just finding someone else to sucker into giving them a loan they never get back. Since this was likely a word of mouth, and nothing legal on paper witnessed by a notary public, I would think the only thing is taking the person to small claims courte but again, they can't make her pay back something she doesn't have. Be careful in the future about the situation where you are wanting to give out a loan to help a friend or anyone. Know for real what they need the money for, if behind on many bills, what happened to cause it. If the economy is to blame and the cost of living is so much higher than what they earn, they will always be in the hole and any money you give is going to end up a donation to the poor rather than a loan where you get it all back. We know quite a few people hard on their luck and a homeless person or two who live out of their cars. When one needed repairs to her car and needed money up front, we gave her a hundred dollars as we didn't have any more free to give and we were okay with if they never got it back at all. She made two payments of $20 0r 25, and then it was a long time because other things came up that she had to pay for, from disability check and she told us asking if she could delay the next payment, so after a few times of another delay, and we know she doesn't have money or ability to work so we told her to not worry that she didn't need to pay back the rest. She was so grateful. So I think having a talk with her, finding out what is up with her, what her needs are, were, and if she still needs money, and is always running short, it may be you know of someone who might know of a job she could do where she'd have more money so she doesn't end up short again and unable to pay back future friends. If income is the problem then just talking to her will help. If its a vice, like gambling, perhaps she would agree to go to gamblers anonymous just because someone cared enough to really ask and want to know what is going on for her.
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No- she has no right to say that when she owes you 3000 from years ago. I don’t know what kind of situation your friend is in financially- but I do know that she has to pay you back. Maybe be more clear about that. If she’s a close friend, it shouldn’t be so hard to be able to talk about how she’s going to pay you back, and if not, she’s not a close friend, so you can just get the money back through other means. If she means a lot to you, I suggest that both of you come up with a plan together. Or get her to work for you or help you out for money if she’s having that much trouble. It sounds a bit like she’s taking advantage of your kindness of trying to come up with that plan.
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