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I have to chose between my morals or my friends and I don’t know what to do
I have been friends with these girls for 10 years let’s call them C and S. just last year we started hanging out with another girl, let’s call her K. K is very dramatic and can be very harsh. Recently we have been hangeing out with a girl named A. One day K decided that she doesn’t like A and started talk very badly about her. Then S got influenced by that and started not liking her as well. They are both being very mean to her. Walking away when she comes, talking bad about her when she is standing right beside them. Recently it’s been really bad and I just never expected S to act this mean. I sort of expected it from K. But I just could have never predicted that S who is a sweet girl that never wanted to hurt anyone could be so mean and fake and careless of someone’s feelings. I am the only one that seems to not hate her there for they always leave me with her. Today K said that she can’t hang out with us as much any more because she can’t deal with A. She said that she doesn’t want to make us stop hanging out with A so she is just gonna step back. I thought that was a very mature decision. But the more she talk about it the more a realize that she is trying to manipulate us. It’s working on S but not me. She is trying reverse psychology. It went from I don’t want to make you stop hanging out with her to why do you even hang out with her, I hate the fact that she is making me do this. I’m worried that she is gonna make us pick between her and A. I know for a fact S will have no problem picking K but the soul fact the she might be making us pick makes me wanna pick A. It’s not like I’m closer to A or anything it’s just that I don’t agree with how they are acting. Like I know it’s normal not to like someone but they are being really mean and harsh about it. Today after K said everything, her and S walk away AGAIN and when we went to go follow them they started to walk fast and faster, then they started RUNNING always, A was calling S name but she just kept running, to make them stop I had to yell at S and she stopped because I had never yelled at her, it was just horrible. But I can’t lose S. I love her so much and I can’t leave her. What she is doing and how she is reacting I do not like at all. I just don’t know how to handle it. I want to talk to them about it but I have tried multiple times but they are not really listening and now there is this tension that won’t go away between us. I have never fought with S ever and I can’t handle it. She has changed because of K and I don’t like it but I’m not just going to leave. I almost want to not lose them completely but she them that I don’t agree with what they are doing in a way that they will really listen. I just don’t know what to do pls help because so have a feeling that if I don’t figure it out soon im going to do something I regret
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I read your detailed dilemma. First, Loyalty is key in friendships. Grab hold and secure the frindships you have had with C and S first. Then get the two of them together and discuss how they feel about K.
Secondly, I feel that by reading your side and being an unbiased advisor.. K is a bad influence on your friednships with your girlfriends. Some people come in your life your a lifetime and some come in your life and only stay a season.
Ultimately, it is up to you, but trust your gut and pay attention to the vibes you get when you are around K versus A. However, there is not much known in worded detail about how everyone feels about A. I feel there are too many spoons in the friends pot. Before you bring new frinds into the circle everyone has to be at least 80$ cool with it. 80% and 60% makes a big difference. The leverage is everything. So confide and consult with your tenure friends first then go from there.
Best of Luck,
MisterAdvice101
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