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My best friend has a crush on me. What should I do?


Question Posted Wednesday October 2 2019, 2:11 am

My best friend has a crush on me and I’ve discussed that I don’t like her that way or want to be with her and everything was fine. Now, I have a boyfriend and she’s suddenly gotten more clingy and makes me really uncomfortable and I want to spend less time with her, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings. What do I do?

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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?


Dragonflymagic answered Thursday October 3 2019, 11:44 am:
The word I've always used that works is 'Chemistry'. First let her know that you have noticed how she behaves around you has changed since you got a boyfriend. Let her know that she will always be your friend (people are afraid of losing friends once the friend is dating) and just to be clear, that the chemistry needed to be more than friends, is not there with you and her, so it can never be a romantic friendship. You may have to reassure her a couple times. This is a typical issue that comes up, fearing that they will hardly see you if you are too wrapped up in the romantic relationship. And to be honest, some of the time you might have spent with a friend is now being spent with a romantic partner. Life changes and won't always be the same as we always knew and a person needs to be able to adapt with the changes. So there is always a chance she might not ever be able to adapt and go with the flow. If after several months of reassurances, she is no better, then you'll know you've done your best and the rest lies on her to adapt. Do whatever you feel you must at that point.

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