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My niece keeps putting her stuff on my bed !
I am 30 years old and I still live at home with my mom because of some mental health issues I have . I share a room with my 18 year old niece. My problem is my niece keeps putting her stuff on my bed . I had to start sleeping on the couch because of this . It really made me mad when I found a plate of pizza on my bed. How do I handle this like an adult without going to my mom ? Help!
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Since I don't know the room layout, I have no idea if other than food, there is a great lack of space to put things in the bedroom. If that is the case, some creative storage ideas might be needed. Then again, she may just be messy and not thinking ahead. All of us before age 25 had frontal lobes of the brain not fully developed yet and one thing this lack affects, is the ability to look forward to consequences or how ones actions might affect another.Obviously she is not capable of doing this. All you can do is ask her if she feels there is not enough space for her things, even if it looks like more of a bad habit. The habit may have come about due to lack of space which is likely the case when two beds are in one room. Most bedrooms lack room otherwise unless using bunk beds. You can try to talk to her about coming up with a plan for more storage. I wouldn't come at it as a fact that she is a messy person, because leaving a plate of pizza on your bed is one thing already that shows she probably is. But calling her messy will only get her defences up and make her resist working together.
I also don't see how something can be done alone with out involving Mom. It is her house and lack of storage space would fall to her to make ultimate decisions on as it may involve purchases of certain things. Some things can be found in Hardware stores, such as closet organizers. There is also flat large plastic bins with lids and on wheels, made to roll under the bed for extra storage. Shoe organizers with pockets to hang on door and it doesn't have to be shoes that go in it. Hanging mini hammocks for storage or in the same idea, hanging sectioned mesh tower with shelves to store items. I have seen lots of cool idea but they all cost money.
I suspect that your Mom is the one who is looking after your niece so if organizing for more room doesn't work, You and Mom may have to speak in private of doing something drastic to get her to be clean and respectful of the shared space.
The one suggestion I have, and you can show this to Mom if it comes to this point, is putting a locking door knob on the bedroom door and you and Mom each have a key. The room remains unlocked if the niece is keeping things clean and not using your bed. However, anytime she does not keep things up and gets messy and breaks these rules, she loses privilege of the room for a certain amount of time. At this point, it is locked and she must sleep on couch and have either you or Mom unlock and supervise while she picks out clothes or what she needs from there. After the period of days is over, she gets use of the room again until she messes up again. I figure it may take a couple times for her to see that Mom and you are serious about this.
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