During the previous school year[8th grade] I’ve hung around a group of 5 girls+1 whose in the same boat as me but doesn’t seem to care,since last August or September 2018. Sometimes I would witness them talk about their plans with each other for the weekend or whatever. But they never even consider me, all of their parents have cars but mines doesn’t, I don’t know if that’s their excuse or they just don’t feel like we’re that close, we aren’t but we’re still friendly and talkative .But theres also another girl in the group whose mom doesn’t have a car, and they don’t invite her places either although they’ve been friends with her longer. This summer 2019 I’ve saw them hanging out with each other on instagram and can’t help but feel excluded and left out, they have a way to contact me but they don’t even try, they also make me feel as if I’m putting in more effort than them to getting to know each other.This school year should I keep a safe distance and only talk to them sometimes and hang around with other people I know more or try to still build trust and friendship with them. Another reason I ask is because it can be frustrating hanging out with them because they talk to people I don’t like or associate with.
Since you mentioned another girl whose family doesn't have a car being left out, I'd have to guess it's all about having parents who can take turns chauffering a car load of girls to the mall, drop off at a movie, or drop off at the beach, etc.... They don't sound as interested in a friendship as they are in what some one can do for them or provide them with. Once they are old enough to drive, it will become more obvious, even though they can now drive themselves places, the teens who own their own car, will be popular while those who don't won't be. It's Kids buying in to all the materialistic stuff they are bombarded with daily from TV, ads, friends, etc... You can't change them, all you can do is change who you choose to hang out with. I remember that age and I know it was hard for me to make friends too. I also had social anxiety back then which made it much harder but the few people I attracted were true friends who cared about me and treated me well all the time and we had fun hanging out and not getting driven places. If I as a socially anxious pre teen and teen could have a handful of friends, 4 or 5 only, but they were true friends, then I know you can do it too. Good luck [ Dragonflymagic's advice column | Ask Dragonflymagic A Question ]
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