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depression,how do I cheer her up?
My friend has been depressed ever since she was dumped,how do I cheer her up?
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Most of what I will list are things she has to be willing to do herself to get over her depression. But you can help, especially with 'hug therapy'.
All about Depression and what to do about it
Depression isn't something to fear or shy away from acknowledging and taking care of. It is nothing more than the indicator on your cars dashboard saying oil levels are low. So what exactly are people low on when they begin to feel depressed and anxious? Here's an article that explains it all without my having to type it out for you.
[Link](Mouse over link to see full location)
Yes, there is something you can do that will instantly jump start your body into creating more NT's and feel good hormones. I came across a article in a blog once on the internet that explains it well. When one of my daughters got depressed after a 2nd boyfriend broke up with her, it was real bad this time and she was unable to bounce back. I told her what to do but hey, it's just mom, what does Mom know, right? So through her job, she went for her one free visit to a psychologist who told her everything she could do herself since she would be unable to come in for sessions, and the list he gave her is exactly what I once came across and told her about.
It's going to sound crazy, really silly and not believable but you're not going to get results if you don't trust me enough to give it a real good effort, cus what have you got to lose, as silly as it makes you feel.
1. Find reasons to laugh. Laughter is good medicine for a reason. It helps raise these low levels. So watch your favorite comedies, get on the net and find comedy acts to watch. Talking about the hard belly ache laughter here.
2. Listen to uplifting music. I can't say what is uplifting to you but it's going to be something you've always felt when hearing a certain melody, its not the lyrics that count, its the sound. What you're looking for is listening to the songs that make your heart feel light as a balloon as if it were about to float out of your chest. A melody that does it for me is "Clocks" by Coldplay. I have a small collection of songs I play and sing along to whenever I begin to feel a stressed feeling coming on, which warns me my levels are too low.
3. This brings me to the next point--singing. Singing helps to raise those NTs and hormones. So don't just listen to music, sing along.
4. Movement...action is important. Think of how many people you've heard of who lack energy, want to stay in bed all day and do nothing when severely depressed. Doing nothing will only keep a person stuck so doing the opposite, movement will help. It is suggested that a person walk, jog, do exercise or a more fun version of movement, dancing. So just move to the music. There's that music again. Its all tied together as you can see. I have tried skipping, like a little kid would do. Hadn't done it since I was a kid. Imagine a woman in her 50's skipping down the street. I felt silly but as I continued, I began to laugh hilariously at myself and I felt the stress just melt off instantly.
5. Give hugs and get hugs. Have you heard of hugging therapy? Bet you haven't. But in recent years it is becoming more popular. A true prolonged bear hug with another person is much needed to help keep the levels up. One hug per day won't do. It is suggested that around 8 per day will help. So...give a hug and you automatically recieve one. No quick hugs. Hug and go way past the point it feels weird or uncomfortable because thats the point at which I have felt that same feeling as I get with song therapy.
* The first five are things that will have the quickest effects. Here are more
6. Meditate. This means you're taking time to let your mind relax, not focus on your problems or tasks to be done. This takes some practice to do well and learn how to stop your subconscious mind from just constantly wandering off to dwell on things that rob you of your peace.
7. Learn to forgive. Did you know that when you hold a grudge or hold on to your anger, you are
putting a huge energetic tax on your system? Think of it like picking up a heavy weight and having to carry it around with you all the time. As long as we focus on what was done to us from a negative viewpoint instead of finding the ability to forgive, we keep reliving the experiences as a victim rather than remembering them as an overcomer.
8. Being Grateful/Thankful. Gratitude is one of the highest states you can achieve. No matter what’s going on in your life, you can find something for which to be grateful. Even when something terrible has happened to you, chose to find the blessing or positive point in the situation. Such as: "I am grateful to the people who were challenging to me today because it gave me the
opportunity to grow." And it could be something simple as "I am grateful to have the warmest, coziest bathrobe in the world."
The last three tend to have something to do with our thoughts and our brain. If these 3 are not addressed in your life, then all the relief you find with the first 5 steps will be dropped down to lower levels again. So learning to work on the last three as becoming a part of who you are will help greatly.
You should now understand what it means when the NTs and hormones are at critically low levels for you to be able to function normally. If not, think of it like a car low on oil to lubricate the parts. You can make the engine freeze up and ruin it. The low levels in a cars oil could be due to an oil leak and a check up for the car would reveal that.
Its just the same for a human. To make a comparison, the oil leak would be like a medical issue contributing to the problem. Just as a cars oil will get used up in the daily functioning on the road, and need to be replaced regularly, so it is with us, we actually need daily if not every other day techniques used to raise our levels again as they get used up. Unfortunately this is not taught to humans at all at any point in their life. Depression is just the humans 'indicator light' saying that 'their oil' is low.
This will cure the situational depression. However, if she is feeling back to herself now but can't stop thinking about the person, it is important to learn how to stop thinking about whatever got you depressed in first place. If she has trouble with that after no longer feeling depressed, let me know as I have instructions on what to do to stop focusing thoughts too much on a thing or a person and again, it is quite easy to do but must be done consistently as al the stuff above.
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Hello it wonderful that you are there for your friend you know love hurts in so many ways the best thing you can do is just be there for your friend don't agree on anything just let them circumvent listen, hug, and continue to be a good friend. do things that will get their minds off of he one who dumped her she will need you more just because you are there. do let her know to not let nothing and no one steal her glory they are rejoicing the see that she is hurting.
Be Happy not Sad
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