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Im not there for bestfriend when she's hurt badly cuz i have strict parents
Please help me, im about to cry i dont know who to talk with i just need great advice like my bestfriend's dad died a month ago and she was a mess and i wanted to support her and be there for her but im not allowed to go out of the house so much so i couldn't be her shoulder to cry on and she doesnt have anybody else but every time she needs me and i want to go to her house something shows up and my mom doesnt let me she's lost hope in me and thinks im a fake friend only there in the good times now her boyfriend broke up with her and i was the only one that could help her she called me crying begging me to go to her house cause she hates talking on the phone and texts she just cant but i couldnt be there for her because of my strict parents and now she's a mess her dad along with her long time boyfriend she has no one but me so she gave me one last chance to prove her wrong and be there for her cause she's falling apart and this is breaking my heart cause i can't go to her, MY CAR BROKE DOWN and i've given her so many "excuses" that weren't excuses cause thet happened and i cant go tomorrow to her house and im going to lose her and i dont know what to do cause she is not going to believe the "excuses" again, she'll think i wont give a crap and i do but i cant take an uber and no onecan take me and my parents are strict as hell... i really dont want to lose her help me
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You are frustrated but what you have written doesn't tell me why you are not allowed to leave the house ever under any circumstances as you make it sound. This would mean stuff like you not able to attend public school, being homeschooled instead, the parents leaving you at home when they go to a restaurant to eat, Mom buying all your clothes for you, guessing at how they will fit because you are not allowed out of the house to go to a clothing store to even try on clothes.
I don't know if there are religious beliefs where they have gone overboard, if one or both suffer some phobia's or other mental illness that makes them worry for no reason at all for you, or if one of them was attacked robbed or raped in the past and fear the same for you, or whatever the reason is. They may or may not have ever told you. In that case, you need to ask and get some clear reasons, not flimsy excuses. To every question they answer, do not accept the answer but ask why until you get to the bottom of this.
Here's what it would look like:
You: Why am I not allowed to just go and be with my friend, she needs a should to cry on.
Mom: Because I have decided you can't go. (this is not answering your question. It is evasive and not sharing any info.
You: Then why did you decide so, what valid reason do you have?
Mom: Why are you questioning me, I am your Mother?
You: I want to do be prepared for adulthood some day, sheltering me and keeping me at home doesn't teach me anything so again I ask you to give me some solid reasons why. What are you afriad is going to happen?
I would think at this point MOm feels cornered and will share something. If she is afraid due to something that happened to her, mugged, purse stolen, raped, getting pregnant as a teen, then she is projecting her fears on to you and that is not healthy. There are things to teach you to not take chances and how to stay safe. If lets say this was her reason why she doesnt let you leave, then there is something I can suggest. If it is for religious reasons, I also could make some suggestions. However if you simply say she said its religious reasons, that is still not enough for me to know what to tell you. If you gave specifics such as they believe Christians shouldn't mingle with non believers or you can't have any non Christian friends or even as a Muslim, she fears you being attacked by the regular population for what you wear, all of that is the kind of info for people here to see to really be able to make some helpful suggestions.
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