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My friend got a boyfriend and now it feels like she’s a stranger
My best friend got a boyfriend. Cool, I’m happy for her but she and I have been talking less and she has told me she had been trying to hang out him many times a week well she barely talks to me anymore. I get it she likes him but, I feel that I’m losing importance to her, so much that she has told me to stop texting because she was texting to her boyfriend. I feel super awful for feeling this way but I don’t want bring it up to her because she might think I’m being selfish. I really love my friends but I have no idea what to do... what do you think I should do?
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
I don't know if you have yet experienced getting a boyfriend, but with anything new and exciting, there is a kind of energy which when talking about dating couples, is called New Relationship Energy. You already get that she likes him lots. He likes her alot in return. But often with a new relationship, not just the first BF but any new BF down the road, people get carried away with that new person, leaving other friendships ignored. Why? There is a reason. Because this energy or New Relationship Energy is much like a high people get from drinking or a drug. It is very addicting too. Once you have felt it, you end up wanting more and more of that wonderful feeling, to the point you focus only on that and let all your responsibilities and friendships go by the wayside until these feelings level off and thought they may still be into each other, it is a more normal kind of interest. So all you can do is wait it out. She will eventually want to spend time with you again.
If you can't understand what all the excitement is about, there is something much like it that I can give you as an example. Think back to a Christmas that you really wanted something. You wanted it so bad you would stop in stores and wishfully look at it. YOu made your request to the parents and didn't know if they'd get it or not but you hoped so hard they would. Then came the anticipation and excitement as christmas came cloaer. When you opened presents and got exactly what you wanted, that is the kind of excitement that I want you to remember. Some gifts are perfect for us and will hold our attention indefinitely. However, I have received things I wanted and begged for as a kid, and once I got them, they only held my attention every day for a few weeks, may even a couple months, but after that, I lost interest or I just took it out every once in a while to play with. A new relationship works like this. Even if some guy isn't totally perfect for her, she will be excited at the newness of it and his returned interest in her. After a while, they will find they no longer have the same intense desire to spend exclusively with each other and start to focus again on the things and people that were important to them before they started dating. It isn't something that happens to young teens only but adults of any age. I have never heard among people I know, of the NRE ever causing a person to drop a friend forever because they are dating. It may take longer than you like but I don't beleive you have anything to worry about.
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