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Should I stay away?
I stayed in my suite while other students watched a basketball game in the lounge while in the bathroom another person who I shared a suite with came in and went to her room and started a phone conversation with who I assume was her mom and sounded like she was asking for advice or sharing a concern about a another person then another person who I shared a suite with walked in her room. When I walked out the bathroom I heard their conversation saying “They probably think she’s weird because she has insomnia” I am the only person who takes medication to help me which is for sleep. For which later they constantly returned checking on me asking if I was okay and then frantically running out of the room, I later concluded that they were displaying behavior like they were scared of me what should I think of them now? Should I distance myself ?
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This is probably the first time they have come across a person with a chronic issue that was at least somewhat noticeable to them. Many people have insomnia. I do. Always have. However I took nothing for it until I hit 50 because for some reason, the older people get, the more likely you are to have it. For me it just got worse so I need treatment daily now. To me, it is a non issue and should be your your friends. It could be. All you need to do is sometime in the future, you sit down your roomates, all at the same time to get it over with and tell them you want to share something with them so they don't feel uncomfortable. Right now they are uncomfortable because they don't know how to act, the same way most people freeze up around someone disabled, and they have no idea what to say or do, and worst, if they want to know and understand and ask, and I have found this to be true, about 1 half or more of the people you
do decide to ask, get angry with you. It is up to you to put them at ease. Once they understand what is going on for you, it will become a non issue to them that they never notice, or bring up again. Or you could keep quiet and listen to people all your life saying something behind your back. It is not because of gossip but having unanswered questions of how to act around you. So bring it up and let them you that you decided to tell them about your 'chronic' insomnia because you want them to understand and not assume that because you have trouble sleeping that you are depressed or mad at them or worried or whatever. So in answer, there is no reason to stay away from people just because they were talking about your insomnia. The majority of people who talk about somebody issue, are truly nice caring people who want to understand but don't say anything because they are nice and don't want to hurt the persons feelings or make them angry. Its something I face often enough since I live close to retirement apartments. Going to a store, you see a person in a wheelchair or with a walker approaching a door. You wonder whether you should step in and be nice and just open the door for them. It took only once of having someone in a wheelchair say, I can do it myself, before I really gave it some thought. I know some of the elderly with walkers, actually appreciate the help, so now I ask first, would you like me to help you with the door? No one has snapped at me ever again, just a smile and no thanks, but thanks for asking. If in college, they are still young enough to not have come across someone different than them. I know it makes you sound like an alien from another planet but anything different will catch someones attention and make them wonder... whether they stutter, walk with a limp, have a missing finger or what have you. It doesn't have to be something big like a missing leg, or a black person with disease causing parts of skin to turn white. I have seen that twice in my life and I can tell you, it was hard to resist looking. If I am caught looking, I will actually speak to the person, something like "How long have you have your condition?" I might say, sorry for looking but you are the first person I have seen with this. I don't even know what it is called or what causes it." That leaves them at a point of either ignoring me or educating me on the subject. I work volunteer at a church feeding program for the community. There is a regular who had Tourette's syndrome. I know a person like that can't help being as they are, which is basically 'disruptive' if one doesn't understand the involuntary bursts of yelling, cursing, mumbling, and non normal bursts of strange body movements. One such person was lingering when most had left. Usually there is enough food to put out free food for people to take home and the person was seated next to that table. So I smiled and asked if they needed a bag for any items they wished to take home. In this persons case, as soon as they had something focused to say, the Tourettes symptoms stopped long enough for them to tell me, they didn't need a bag but thanks for asking and then they lapsed back into the herky jerky movements and muttering.
What you have is not so obvious. But you can help these roommates, or any friends, but helping them understand how to act around someone rather than talking about the symptoms with others who also have no idea what is the issue.
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