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My mom is a lifetime movie
28/f. I no longer wish to have a relationship with my mother. We have an extremely toxic relationship. Although I'm 28, she treats me as though I'm a 16 year old drug addict. She shows up at my house, unannounced. She inserts herself into my love life. It's gotten to a point where I haven't even introduced her to my significant other, despite us being serious. At this point, we're discussing marriage, children's names, and I've introduced him to the rest of my family. But, because of her behavior, I don't want her near him. Whenever I travel, she blows up my friend's phones. People are afraid of her. I use to feel like I had to look at my dad and my grandparents as "heroes" because they would be the ones to "save" me from her. There was a point where she got violent while I was still living with her and twice, she almost killed me in a fit of rage over a guy that she didn't want me to date (this was in my early 20's, btw). I've come to realize that even though I do love my dad and my grandparents, my grandparents, more specifically, are enablers. They've condoned this behavior from her. So, I don't trust them either. What can I do to protect myself from her at this point?
Due to IRS issues, the house I live in is under her name. She needed to invest money from another sale so that she wouldn't have to pay the IRS from the sale of the house. But, I do live here and have mail sent to this address. Is there a way that I can protect myself from her? I think that filing a restraining order is a bit extreme. I don't feel as vulnerable in the case of her violence because I feel like I have my boyfriend's protection. Before, I was depending on the protection of my grandparents, who did nothing but enable her. But, now, I have a support system consisting of friends and my boyfriend who are obviously going to take my side if I feel threatened. i lived in a one-sided house and now I feel less alone. But, there has to be something I can do.
Is there like a pre-step before restraining orders?
Thanks in advance!
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These sound like questions for a lawyer since you live in a house she owns. If you lived anywhere else, you could change phone numbers, not give out new address, have your friends block her number and never have contact with her. Because she owns the house, she feels the right to come by whenever she wants. I will say that any landlord wanting to inspect a renters place must give them notice ahead, not drop by unannounced. There may be other things too but a lawyer would know. Trusting just because of a boyfriend may not be enough. If your Mom is bad enough off that she tried killing you in the past and never went to mental health counseling starting back then for that and her other issues, then she will be no different today or in the future. You obvious would never allow her to babysit any children you may have, all on her own, alone for fear of the childrens safety. If she got upset enough that she wasn't told you were dating let alone married him and wasn't invited to the wedding, or that she has grandchildren she is not allowed to see, then she could go wacko and who knows what she could do, especially if she plans an attack while your boyfriend/husband is away at work or somewhere shopping. Even if you don't fear being hurt or killed, you do not want the nuisance of having to deal with her. So I will suggest you ask your local police if there is such a thing in your area that is like a restraining order but slightly different. We found out when we called police becuase of a man who forced his 'friendshop ' on us. We gave him a chance only to find he is a liar , cheater, stealer and ex con to boot. We told him to stay away from us and it took calling the police who suggested we go to the courthouse and file a nuisance order against him. Works the same as the restraining order, The targeted person can
not be any closer to where you are than a certain amount of yards and can not contact you in any way, phone, text, email, etc. However if I am mistaken and you bought the house but she helped to pay for some of it by investing and she is not on the title as one of the owners, then it is your place and you have a right to keep her away from you, your boyfriend and any future children.
I don't think a nuisance restriction by law would work if you rent from her and she is the one who is paying solely for it and its just her name on the mortgage title. PLenty of poepple own homes that they rent out. A renter can't do something that prevents them as the landlord from checking on the property or coming by to do repairs. I don't know if there are exceptions to this. That is why in the long run, it is best to cut all ties, even any situations where you might see her if the house belongs to her but she lets you live there, whether free or renting and paying her rent. All of that is something a lawyer can tell you where you stand and what can be done. So checking by law where you stand would be the prestep depending on if you don't own but she does. Also, if both of you co-own, that is a bad situation and you are going to need a lawyers help to find your way out of that. If you own the home and she gave you money to help get into it, I don't know how you can be free and clear of her but a lawyer would. If it was a gift, you owe her nothing but since you said investment...well you need to speak to a person who knows this stuff and the laws. Personally, if the house were something I rented, I would walk away and find another place to rent. As long as you stay there, she will know where you live. Also if she able to look you up on social media, she can find out where you have moved. So create new accounts under a false name, like Butterfly lover, it doesnt have to be a name so if she searches for you by your actual first and last name, she can't find you. Hope this helps some dear.
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