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How do I navigate this?
Hey, so I'm gonna keep this short. Basically, I'm a first-gen college student and first-gen American. My mom doesn't make a bunch of money. I'm basically going to college thanks to the grace of a higher power and an academic scholarship. I had no college fund set up for me whatsoever growing up, so I'm at a college minutes from home and am living at home. A college fund left for me by my deceased aunt got screwed up by her husband, and I will never see that money. My dad's a deadbeat, who doesn't contribute much. My mom keeps taking a cut of my scholarship earnings every time it gets dispersed, even though I am unemployed; I'm currently stressing about finances as we speak since I live off about 1 grand for months. My family has done nothing but screw me up time after time. How do I get my mom to get off my back and stop bothering me for money?
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I agree with Ambivalence. You need to reach out for help and you could find a good start in simply asking the school counselor where you go to college. Your mind is weighed down by your issues, and if like me, when my mind is struggling with some tough things, I can't even think straight as to look for whom to get help from. I know someone like your Mom, she wouldn't try to find any job, even a fast food place , anything to bring in a little money and had been living off the funds her children got, like from their Dads social security when he died while they were still kids. Once they reached 18, they would no longer get these funds. She used all their money to pay for household bills and is now in a bad place because only one child remains below that age and she still begs the older ones to help her. She isn't even willing to contribute a little to her own upkeep. Doesnt matter how often I talk to her and I am guessing there is some mental issues or problems with her but she won't go to see a professional and thinks she's just fine. Your Mom should be going to her local Dept of Social and Health services where people sign up for food stamps, cash help with bills, like utilitues if they are disabled or unemployed and there is always gettig on a waiting list for low income housing which if the same in all states would be only a portion of whatever little income you get. Your tuition does not count as her income. So if a counsselor doesn't help steer you in the right direction, you can get help from your local DSHS. I was once in another state after leaving my husband and my sister took me to the local office where I actually qualified simply as I was living with her and left an abusive situation. So I know this exists in other states. You just need to find a contact number and address. Ours is always too busy to get through on the phone. We go in person and you don't need an appointment, its first come first served. Well worth your checking it out to see what help you can get. You never know but the fact that you were raised here but the parents are from another country and Dad a deadbeat, all the stuff you told us, as insignificant as you may think, if they hear something they know can help you, its worth giving them every detail. good luck hon.
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I suggest you call social services who help people with their funding or even abusive families on their issues. I would give to you specific numbers, but I don’t know where you live.
Since your family’s a deadbeat, the best way to deal with it is to find help from outside your family, possibly in professionals or even friends. In a lot of social circles, there’s that type of person who always seems to know who’s who, and maybe it’s best to find ideas on how to work with this if you trust him or her.
In the types of abuse, emotional neglect focuses on the lack of emotional resources given, such as a healthy sense of trust or even the responsibility to give you an education. There is also physical neglect, which can focus on a lack of responsiblity on funding for a lot of basic needs, and not just education. So I hope you can mention this when you call for professional help.
Other than that, I suggest you search “100 Ways to Save Money,” and “100 Ways to Earn Money.” It could help you have a thorough list for financial independence.
I’m sorry this is happening to you, and I hope you can find a way out of this. I believe you can.
Best of luck.
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